The End Is Near : Panic Time!

Oh yeah.

The end is soooooo very, very near for 2011. 2012 will rear its face in just 2 days away, and suddenly I felt so overwhelmed with all the things that had happened and didn't happen in 2011.



And yep, it's time to make fresh resolutions again. But seriously, I forgot what was my resolution for 2011. Haiyya, so terrible kan ? But what do you expect from a mother to 4 very very active and sturdy young boys, who is also a surrogate mother to 8 adult ducks, 10 ducklings, and enough caged birds to replace the infamous Angry Bird character ?



Gaaaaaaaaaaa.

2012 is just two days away, and I still don't have any resolution. Time to hit that panic button!!!














I must prepare some very plausible resolution for 2012 so that when people ask me about my new year resolution I can look so sophisticated and tell them all the nonsense that will be sure to make their eyes cross and brain nerves swooning like mad so in the end they wouldn't understand a thing about my new year resolution. Ergo, if they don't understand my resolution how can they smirk at me if I don't achieve my new year resolution, right ? You are scratching your head while reading this, so I know that I am halfway thru. Yes!


Wait. Did I mention Angry Birds before this ? Yes ? Uh-oh, some light bulb is flashing like mad in my brain. Some sort of storm is brewing inside my brain cells, interconnecting all the neurons with some sort of logical and plausible reasoning. Urgh.



Angry Birds app logo. Pic from Net




This is one of the most famous n fast growing game, ever! But I never play the game. Reason being : I don't own any Apple product. :(


Say that again ?

That very last sentence in particular.

And Bingo!


Now you have it.


Mental Note : Must put having an Apple product as one of my 2012 resolution.
Yep IPhone 4S, come to Mommy!!!!



Of course, by the time I own an Iphone 4S, Apple had probably come out with Iphone 11S, or whatever, but at least for the time being I can relax and exhale because I already have a resolution, no matter how short or lame my resolution is!


Happy New Year, people! Have a great year ahead!

Burying A Queen of Heart

Today I buried my very first dead creature, and it was not a beautiful experience.


It was a rainy day. I wished that I could just snuggle in front my 40 inch LCD, watching a bunch of cute Korean boys flaunting their good stuffs while singing to some mindless but catchy tunes, but I can't delay the inevitable any longer. I've got to do it.


Now! Pronto! Sekarang!


So with a heavy heart, I grabbed a shovel and made my way towards a quiet, secluded place at the back of my lawn. It was dead quiet except for the soft sounds of the rain hitting the soft grounds underneath my feet.

My heart was thudding wildly. Can I pull this act ? Do I have the guts to do the deed ? Would I have enough strength to dig the earth beneath me? And an even bigger question, would I be able to lift my 'victim' and bury her underground ?

Argh. Too many questions. Too many regrets.

And I got tears rolling on my cheeks when I remembered that SHE is gone.

I regret it that she died. I loved her. But she died. And I need to bury her.

And more and more big, fat tears came rolling down my cheeks. Outside, the rain keeps on falling, matching my dark, sinister mood. Inside, I felt like a world class murderer, trying to cover up her first kill.

Maybe a female version of Ted Bundy. Or Kane. Or was it Abel ?


Argh. Doesn't matter.


She's gone, and I've got to bury the dead. No prejudice. And I took a deep, cleansing breath, and fought back the new wave of tears that threaten to come down again.


So I grabbed the shovel, and started digging. I dug and dug and dug till my arms ached, and I gasped out of breath from exhaustion. The pit in front of me should be sufficient for her great, beautiful body. That would be perfect to lay her down to rest.


And so I reached for her, and ever so gently, I lifted her lifeless little body and put her down in the pit. I almost cried again when I saw her.


Oh Cleopatra, why did you die ?


Woke up today, and found out that my Cleopatra is dead.
COD : Unknown




My sweet Cleopatra in her final resting place. RIP, Cleo...


Yep. Cleopatra - my lovely duck had died mysteriously, and since my hubby is away on a business trip, I got the honor (or horror?) to bury her.


Oh I really loved her.

She was so beautiful, majestic and regal. A true queen material. Hence the name Cleopatra, after one of the greatest queen in the ancient time, the time of the pharaohs.


Oh Cleo, I will miss you.

RIP, my little queen.

Road to Recovery : The X-Box vs Florence Nightingale

Sigh...

It's day four after the big C for my boys, and they are slowly recovering...


Day One was the worst, they cried right after the procedure once the anesthetics wore off, and I mean they really, really cried! Imagine two little banshees crying on a broad daylight, and you'll get the picture. And because there were two of them crying, there are moments that I feel like suddenly I had gave birth to twins! Two very very big twin baby boys!!!! Sigh...


But I had to be strong for them. I had to reassure them that everything will be allright, and that they would be up, kicking and running again real soon. But the truth is, I was really really scared!


I mean, I have no little brothers, so I have no idea what a circumcision is all about. What I have was some hazy memories of my older brothers' (8 years my senior) experience when they had their own C. But that was a very very long, long time ago, and I was probably 3 or 4 years when my brothers entered the manhood ceremonies.


I remembered my brothers walking nervously, with both of their legs spread wide apart, holding tight to a pelikat sarong pulled AWAY from their little angry, wounded 'birds', and my brothers would shoo me away like I have some evil power whenever I came near them. And then I remembered how my parents hung a long rope from the ceiling, and at the end of the rope, they tied a makeshift little tent made from kain sarong pelikat, so that whenever my brothers lied down on their backs, the little clothes wouldn't come in touch with my brothers' angry birds, so to speak.


And then I remembered the pantang makan, or foods that are totally banned for a few days after the C ritual. Foods like crabs, squids, prawns and all other seafood are a big NO-NO, for fear that those foods would induce great itch and swell to that little birdies. Others on the No lists are eggs, chicken, nuts etc etc...Well, in short, those poor boys can only eat selected fish like tenggiri/mackarel, ikan merah/red snapper and a few other fish that would not induce such a great itch.


And so, armed with that little piece of information and some hazy memories, I tumbled head down into the maze of the big C.


But surprisingly, it was not such a bad experience at all...and all credits should go to the magic of X-Box and the games of Dynasty Warrior, Call of Duty : World at War and good old Spongebob Squarepants games.


And I noticed how the pain magically disappear in the broad daylight, when the games are running in full swing, be it they are playing as Cao Cao battling against Liu Bei or Lu Bu in Dynasty Warrior, or when my boys morphed to be a sniper, hitting at German soldiers in World at War game, or when they are Spongebob Squarepants or Patrick Star hunting for crabby patties or whatever. But the bottom line is, there is no pain in the day.


It's the night that the pain mysteriously come again. Specifically, a few moments at dusk when I ordered them to stop playing X-Box. More specifically, it's the very moment when I sternly turned off the switch on the wall -when my repeated pleas for them to stop playing just went unheard.


And so, the nights pass so slowly. Every few moments they will moan and whimper about the pains. And the moaning and the whimpering will last for the whole night. All night long. And I magically switched into Florence Nightingale. Sigh...


But hey, once the morning comes, the pain would go away, especially when I turn on the X-Box switch. Hurray!!!!!

Happy, bright faces in daytime



The Dynasty Warrior in full swing
Surprisingly,my boys seem knew Cao Cao, Lu Bu, Liu Bei etc etc more than they knew Hang Tuah...sigh...oh my god...that is sooooo unpatriotic, so not 1Malaysia-lah....could someone please invent a game about Hang Tuah brothers ???? Like, seriously ?

My Boys' Journey Towards Manhood

Oh I got tears in my eyes while writing this entry.

Nope, smoke didn't get in my eyes.

And nope, not because I got eye infection too.

But because....

Because today, my two boys had taken the very first steps towards manhood.

Yep, both of them already POTONG!!!!

Yeah I know that in my last entry both boys escaped the ritual because our family doctor would like to wait for the boys to grow up a bit older before doing the big C (as in circumcision ritual), but my hubby just couldn't wait that long. I don't know what's the big rush, but he really insisted that the boys should POTONG now. And so they did.


Today.

Hubby made an appointment with a practising doctor, who made the house visit and voila! my boys had their birds snipped. Just like that.


And my boys didn't even cry. Not even one tiny teeny weeny bits of tears were shed during the ritual. COOL BOYS!!!!


Well, they did cry like a banshee once the local anesthetics wore off, but by that time it doesn't matter anymore.


My husband had to install a big 32 inch LCD TV and a brand new X-Box console in their bedroom, and voila! Just like that, my boys forgotten the fact that their lower region is wounded.


Tsk, tsk.


Pic taken just right after the snippet...the boys were constantly moaning about the pain...sigh...



Taa-da! just after these gadgets were installed in their bedroom, somehow my boys forgot about their pains...Magic!

And yep, this also proves that we are all not rabbits!!!!

No fear bebeh!

Sudah Potong ? Have You Cut It??? Just Do It!

Well, don't you just love the above ads ? It's actually about cutting one's existing broadband/internet connection and migrating to P1 Wimax's supposedly superior network.

But the innuendos about CUT or POTONG as the actors and actresses were repeatingly utter over and over again in the ads are very very loud and clear.

If you are a Malay or a Muslim, or a Chinese/Indian living in Malaysia, the word POTONG could be very very scary. Particularly if you are of a MALE sex. Especially, if you are a schoolboy. And very very specifically, if you are a boy and you are in the midst of a long, long school holidays.

Here's some example. Utter the word POTONG to an eight year old boy who is just enjoying his school holidays, and you can see his face turn blue. And he would start to shake and sweat, and he would eventually plead and perhaps even tried to bribe his way out, to avoid that POTONG ceremony. Depending on how well you negotiate, you might even win yourself a lifetime slave, just so that the little helpless little boy could escape the dreaded POTONG thingy. Awww....so cute !


Heck. You can even try to mutter the word POTONG to a full, grown up MALE adult, and you could see how they trembled with fear, of a memory long, long forgotten. One that they wished that would never, never encounter again, ever! And in some extreme cases, you could swear that the men would bit his lips and cry a bit. Awwww...so cute!


Yup, I'm talking about CUT, or POTONG as in circumcision. You know, when the male surrendered his most precious body parts to a good, sharp knife, and hoped that he would live to tell the great adventure.


Yeah, yeah it was painful.

Yeah, yeah it was scary.

Yawn....Zzzzzzzz...

Bo-ring!

Oh yes, men are such softies when it comes to pain. They are soft inside, beneath their titanic exteriors. Inside their great lion-like exteriors, they are just soft, cuddly rabbits.

And I happen to have 4 rabbits in my household. (5, counting a great big rabbit disguised as a great big American Grizzly bear!..Geez I'm crossing my fingers that HE wouldn't read this haha).

A cute, cuddly wabbit... Pic from net

So it's school hols, and at the ripe age of EIGHT and SIX, my husband decided that his boys should be ushered (forced, more likely!) into manhood. You know, entering the big boys' club. And my boys are happy. About entering the brotherhood of men, that is. When I sweetly told them about the 'fees' that they had to pay in order to join the fraternity, they started to whine and plea and eventually, they cried.


Oh my soft, cuddly rabbits.


And then they bombarded me with questions.

What ? Why ? How ? How much to cut? When ? Is it painful? How painful ? Would we die? What if the doctor cuts it all? Again, how is it done? Must we do it ? But why ? Can I escape that ? Is it painful ? Did you do it, Mama, when you were a little girl ? Why the hell not ? It's not fair!!!! If you never do it, how do you know it is not painful ? Are you lying to us ?

Yata yata yata....


And then they keep on repeating the same questions over and over again.

Sigh.

At first,I answered their questions patiently. And I took my time to explain to them, in great details about why they need to do it. They got the part about why and the logic of doing 'it'.

It's the pain part that they couldn't understand.

And then when they keep on bombarding me with the same questions over and over again, and that's when I morphed.

I sweetly told them :-

Yep, it could be painful. But you would be given some shots and some medicine to ease the pain. And you would live to tell the tales to your children, and God help it, you would force your sons to go through the same horrific experience, just like your father are gleefully doing to you now.

How painful is it ? They pressed on.

And this is where I really morphed into a witch.

I told them of my own birth experience. Yup, all 4 deliveries.

Correction.

All 4 normal deliveries MINUS epidural or any painkillers to ease the pain.

And that, my friends, really shut them up.

Oh probably they are still traumatic of hearing such details, my poor darlings!



But here's the catch.

My boys managed to postpone the ritual, at least for this year, probably. The doctor said that both of them are too small to be ushered into the big boys' club, perhaps next year would be right!


Being a great, big rabbit myself, I couldn't be more relieved to hear such news!





Yippieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!




Me : An Fluffy, fuzzy Angora wabbiittttt

My Twitters

Twitters.


From Wikipedia:

Twitter is an online social networking and microblogging service that enables its users to send and read text-based posts of up to 140 characters, informally known as "tweets".

Twitter was created in March 2006 by Jack Dorsey and launched that July. Twitter rapidly gained worldwide popularity, with over 300 million users as of 2011,^[6] generating over 300 million tweets and handling over 1.6 billion search queries per day.^[3][8][9] It is sometimes described as "the SMS of the Internet."^[10]

It is also the 'IN' thing now. Many celebrities joined Twitter and 'tweeted' their activities there. Cool.


I have a Twitter account, but I rarely ever log into that account. And I have yet to send in my very first 'TWEET', whatever that means. Maybe I'm a shy, exotic kind of bird. And so I don't tweet. Or maybe some big, mangy cat has gotten my Tweety bird's tongue and so I can't tweet anymore!


So you can say that I'm a virgin when it come to Tweeter. Yeah right!!!!


The truth is, I don't know how to tweet, or what to tweet on Twitter. And I don't know 'who' to follow on the Tweeter. I don't really understand how the Twitter works. For record, at the moment I am following Dato Siti Norhaliza's tweets, and believe it or not, I also followed His Royal Highness The Crown Prince of Johore's tweets.


Don't ask me why am I following a celebrity and a royal blue blood on the Tweeter. I just don't know, and when Tweeter was kind enough to suggest that I followed those two people, I just clicked yes, thank you very much, and voila! I am their faithful followers.


But overall, I think that Twitter is a cool social network.


But I have another kind if Twitter networks, and these guys are really awesome!

Here are my ALIVE Twitters :-


Merbuk, anyone ????
Yep they are fat, but boy, these fatsos can really sing!





A blue Lovebird/Kenari Biru.
I got one pair of Kenari, their names are Blue and another one is called Green.
*If you look closely, you'll notice that Green is hiding behind Blue. See the tips of Green near Blue's tail there ?*



My precious Serindit (right), and Green the Kenari (left). Another Serindit escaped my camera.
And I'm green with jealousy for their beauties.




The last of my Twitter : My quails family. There are 7 of them altogether.
Their eggs are yummy!



OK now I know what to tweet on my tweeter already! Perhaps I would tweet the pictures of my gorgeous birdies, and who knows if the HRH The Crown Prince would buy those twitters, for thousand and thousand of ringgits, maybe ? Oh Gosh my eyeballs are sooo full of the $$$ signs right now so I need to stop at this.


Bye!

Wait.

Anybody knows if the Sultan of Brunei is on the Twitter ? Or Facebook ??????
mmmm....he is soooooooo yummy looking!

Man, I Want To Be Your Ball !!!!Oh Baby Please...

Oh yes.

Ball as in singular one ball, or plural, as in many, many balls (errr two to be specific ?).

And I only wanted to be his ball. I watched how he performed tonight, and that awaken such a great longing in me. I wish I could be his (ball).



Yep. I'm talking about plain old ball lah. Not the other kind of balls often associated with males' lower anatomy. Gaaaa!!!



OK it's 1 am in the morning and I still can't sleep, still feeling the euphoria of a very very good, dangerous football game tonight.

Malaysia versus Indonesia, final match for SEA Games 2011, Palembang, Indonesia.

And there is one particular guy among 22 men that played tonight, and I wish that I could be his ball.


This is the HIM that I am talking about.

Khairul Fahmi Che Mat,
I wish that I could swap places with that yellow, spherical object laying close to his heart.
Old pic, from the Net.




KF : Come on you hot Momma, come to papa!!!
Me on the ball : Oh yes baby, I'm gonna fall straight into your arms!!!
*Old pic from The Net, couldn't find the pics for tonight's game*


It was a very, very dangerous and sexy game tonight, so many attempts from both sides to score goals and secure the gold medal for football, but damn...KFCM (that's Khairul Fahmi Che Mat in case if you don't know) brought out the sexiness in the game each time he saved Malaysia's goal turf.


I mean, you really got to see how he gently leaped on the air, swiftly caught the ball, and then...he just hold the ball in his arms...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...now that's what I call a perfect gentleman....



And he did it so many times, over and over again, defending Malaysia's turf. Geez. Is he a machine or what ?

End result, after a tie 1-1 with Indonesian team, they were forced to play extra time which produce no yields for both teams, so they were forced to play penalty.

And Malaysian Tigers kicked the great big Garuda bird when the boys scored 5 goals againts 4 Indonesian.



Oh yes yes yes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talk about climax hahahaha


OK gotta to rest after such a great game.



CONGRATULATIONS HARIMAU MALAYA !!!!!!

and congratulations too, for the Indonesian team, it was such a great, dangerous, sexy, sexy game, well done boys!




Love you boys, especially you, KFCM!
gosh if only I were 10 years younger...sigh...
*hope that my hubby doesn't read this, hence the smales font I can find...crossing my fingers tightly haha*

Hot Chicks !!!!!!

Oh wow it looks like I am surrounded by hot chicks nowadays. They are everywhere, invading my household with their scantily clad bodies, and making loud, ear splitting noises and just being happy.


Yes, happy.

And their happiness, as proved by their endless songs, are contagious. And somehow, they reminded me of the flower child lifestyle, of the American 60s era. You know, it was the cool era when everybody wears cool outfit and an even cool hairdos. They got the great looks and the great no-nonsense attitude. Talk about panache!


A flower child of the 60s...pic from The Net




Yup, I wasn't even born when those young people declared to only make love, not war, but I had always been intrigued by them happy peeps.I mean how could you not be intrigued by a group of young, beautiful people who promotes only love and peace on earth and were stoned to their eyeballs most of the times ?


Oh my God. What the hell am I rambling about ? Had I gone bonkers ?

Great.

All those mixing and mingling around with those hot chicks had probably altered my brain and my personality.


But those hot chicks are really, really smokin hot and cute like hell!


Oh dear oh dear.

There I go again, mixing metaphors and using terms like smokin hot chicks and cute like hell in one sentence.

Grrrrrr....


And I blame these hot chicks for my temporary brain freeze.

Taaraaa : My hot chicks in a baldi, fresh from the farm!


Yep. Angelina and Cleopatra, my 2 lovely mommy ducks who had patiently sit on their eggs for the past 6 weeks (thus escaping the sex overdose deaths) had finally proved their worths.


13 chicks came out as a result of their rampant sexual activities with my studs.

Hurrayyyyy!!!!


A special pose from a hot chick. Isn't she gorgeous ???



My Ultraman #4 and a hot chick. Here's the dialogue, probably:-
Ultraman #4 : Hello rubber duckie, you're lookin' good! Can I eat you ? Pweeseee???
Hot Chick : Kiss my a$$!!!!!




Oh wow. And I never thought that I would be sooooo happy to watch those chicks came out. It is sooooo unreal, so out of this world and sooooo unbelievable!

Thank you Angelina (as in Jolie) for giving us 10 best looking baby ducks, ever! (Now you know why I named her Angelina right, as in the real life Ms Jolie with her 6 kids! haha)

And thank you Cleopatra, your 3 baby chicks are equally beautiful too!

So..... Angelina and Cleopatra, after both of your 'confinement' period are over, go back to your hedonism activties and bring me more and more beautiful hot chicks OK!

BHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!
*evil, greedy queen laugh*


Oh dear, I had grown into a greedy monster!

Cause of Death : Sex Overdosed...Too Much Sex Will Kill Ya!!!!

Oh yes. Sex.

It the one of the 3 most powerful word in the vocabulary. The other two are money and power. You might craze for either one of the 3 causes, or you might craze for two causes, it's natural-lah, we are humans after all. But if you are crazy for all 3 causes, well, you will probably rise to be the top leader of the world and rule your own kingdom, or perhaps you might rule your own little underworld kingdom, way back from your tiny little coffin, six feet underground. Tsk, tsk.



People went to war, divide the continents, split their countries, cursed each other and even died for either one of the 3 causes.


Die.


And that's precisely what had happened to my lovely Britney and Michelle. They had died.

COD : Sex overdose.


Yup, yup, yup.

Both Britney and Michelle died because of sex overdose. All my studs were crazy humping all the females, like 100 times in a day, and in one of their senseless hedonism sessions, Britney and Michelle had sustained some kind of injuries on their bodies, which led them to their tragic deaths.


Oh wow, doesn't it sounds cool, you know, like some famous rock star's death ? You know, when they had too much booze and drugs and sex, and then they died, probably naked in some sleazy hotel room ? Yes I'm reading too much Jackie Collin's raunchy novels so that's why my imaginations were running sky high...


But anyway, I'm not kidding about my male ducks' big appetite on sex.

It seems like my studs were all sex maniacs, like they were programmed to be some kind of a great sex machine. All they do all day is just eat, poop, and chase all the females. And sometimes they even skip the eating/pooping part, and cut right straight to the chasing skirts part, so to speak.


Wah-lau, those male ducks are really maniacs! Somebody should put a picture of my male ducks beside the word aphrodisiac in the vocabulary. Maybe I should, I'd start off with Wikipedia and spread the words around...


And to think that all the male humans were talking about tiger's heart la, lion's heart la, goat's genitals la, tongkat ali la, civet cats la, etc etc which were all whispered to be a great sex booster, aiyyaaaa !!! While all this while, the very creature that eat, drink and breathe sex is just some domestic animals! What, you don't believe me ?




Here's my logic. A male tiger will only 'do it' when both he and the female tiger are in mating season. And there are lots and and lots of complicated things to do before a male tiger is allowed to go near the female tiger. It's difficult, complicated, and after they had successfully sired some kind of heir apparent, that's it, the male tiger is no longer needed. So of you go, sucker!!!!


But on the other hand, my ducks were doing it like 100 times in a day, and they don't even need any invitation or RVSP from the females. It's plain old slam, bam and thank-you-Mam!!!! (geez, sometimes they even skipped the thank you part, ungrateful b@sta@rds!)


So who gets it more ? Tiger or duck ?


Ting!

Yes I can see that bulb light in your heads now LOL!


Congratulations for seeing my kind of logic.


And come to think of it, what's the difference between my sex crazed ducks and male humans after all ?

Hohoho....


Think that I had ruffled some human males feather there....whoops...


so ....


run Razzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn !!!!



could this be me, running for my life ???
pic from the Net

Pigs in Yellow Polka Dot Bikinis, Rancangan Tergendala Sebentar

Yeah.

Been meaning to update my blog, I've got loads and loads of ideas that I'm dying to pour into my blog, but I got sidetracked my some very important events.


See, the Prime Minister of Malaysia and the First Lady of Malaysia (that's FLOM, if you don't know), decided to launch some very important campaign in Malaysia, and they had chosen me to be the think tank of the campaign. It's a very hush-hush big project with millions and millions of money involved, and I was chosen because of my vast knowledge and intelligence, and most importantly, they had chosen me for my good looks and great hospitality.


Impressive, huh ?


Yeah, rite.

And pigs fly to the moon wearing yellow polka dot bikinis and still look stunning in those bikinis!

A flying pig...minus the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini...



Well, the cold hard truth was....both of my boys had their final year examinations last 2 weeks, and being a very competitive and concerned Mom (read : Kiasu Mom leh), I morphed myself into a very very kind, patient and beautiful teacher (imagine : Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds).




Michelle Pfeiffer...
one of my ex boyfriend said that I bore some resemblance to Ms Pfeiffer...yeah I know he's lying (or blind and dumb), but needless to say that, that particular guy will always be the president in my Ex-boyfriends club.


Well, anyway....


Do you know how tough it is to be a 8 year old student in Malaysia ? Aiyya...so crazy...my standard two boy had to take 10 subjects...yep...10 subjects ranging from Bahasa Malaysia paper 1 and 2, English, Mathematics, Science, Visual Arts, Agama Islam, Bahasa Arab, Music and Physical Exercise papers! Yep, Physical Exercise as in plain old PE!


Ad the PE paper is really a killer paper. Imagine questions like :

'Penyakit kardiovaskular ialah sejenis penyakit yang berkaitan dengan:-

A. Hati
B. Buah Pinggang
C. Jantung
D. Pankreas'


OhMyGod! I bet the majority of 8 year olds couldn't even spell or pronounce kardiovaskular let alone know head or tails about it!


I am not one of those parents who asked their offsprings to eat, drink and breathe the textbooks and the workbooks, or forced their children to study 25 hours a day, but I also don't want my boys to be left behind in this age when kids are getting smarter and smarter these days (yep, I bet there many 8 year olds who knows what's cardiovascular and where the heck is the medula oblangata), so that was why I became the sexy Ms Pfeiffer....and re-learned all about standard two and kindergarten syllabus...sigh....




But after one week of silence, I am finally able to spread my well manicured wings and free to roam the vast spectrum of the Internet world.


Hurray !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9 Beautiful Ladies In My Household, and I'm Not Even Jealous of Them!

'True.


There are nine great beautiful ladies living under my roof and I am not jealous nor envious nor threatened by their presence.


Yep.

Not even an ounce, not even an iota and definitely not even one tiny teeny weeny drop of jealousy or envy that I harbor to those beautiful ladies.



Russia beauty pageant contest, pic from the net



Those nine beauties are so drop dead gorgeous, and they are not at all ashamed to flaunt their assets, out in the open. Well I guess that they are just firm believers in the great saying,



IF YOU GOT IT, FLAUNT IT!


Modesty is not part of their game, and they dared to lie there naked sunbathing in the sun, or skinny dipping in the shallow pond at the far end of my backyard, or frolicking under the warm sun, and I still don't feel troubled by their behaviors.




And I even let my husband go around them, sweet talk to them and even caress their beautiful and gorgeous bodies! And I sometimes even joined my husband and we have an orgy together, watching the nine beauties baring all their assets. Yep, togetherness is the name of the game for me and hubby dearest, and we don't feel kinky at all!


Shocking ?

You haven't hear the worse.

Together with the nine great beauties, we also have 4 handsome hunks in our household. And we encouraged those ladies to befriend the 4 hunks, and even encouraged the friendship to blossom into romance, and we (both my husband and yours truly) shamelessly peeped at how the beauties and the hunks conduct their romance.


Yes, my husband and I shamelessly watched how Britney, Cleopatra, Christina, Michelle, Siti, Diana, Aishwarya, Xi Yi and Nicole conduct their sexual acts with Tom, Brad, Johnny and Keanu.

Revolting, huh ?

Feel disgusted enough ?

What, are my husband and I had somehow morphed into a pair of peeping toms ?



Could this be me, peeping for the 4 handsome hunks?
-pic from the Net-



Is this my hubby pretending to read the paper but peeping at the sexy lady instead?
-Pic from the Net-


Feel free to vomit, but you haven't read the worst.


Sigh...

I must say this out loud that both I and my husband dearest sometimes even took a great pleasure to watch the sexual conducts done by the nine beauties and the 4 hunks! Yeah, talk about kinkiness at the highest level!


And we didn't stop at that.


We even took the eggs that came out of their affairs, and eat those eggs!

Gasp!

Wait, did I say eggs ?

As in this ?


Eggs and eggs galore. Those are ducks eggs, in case if you don't know.
Picture from my own humble collection.


Yep.

These are the nine great beauties and the 4 handsome studs that I was talking about.



My lovely ducks had finally learned and mastered the sexual education lessons, and had finally lay eggs. Hurray!!!!!


Congratulations to my beautiful ladies : Britney (Spears), Cleopatra, Christina (Aguilera), Michelle (Pfeiffer), Siti (Norhaliza), (Lady) Diana, Aishwarya (Rai), (Zhang) Xi Yi and Nicole (Kidman).


And kudos as well to the studs : Tom (Cruise), Brad (Pitt), Johnny (Depp) and Keanu Reeves).


With such good celebs names, I wonder how their babies would look like. Hmmmm...


OK, I'm off for another peeping sessions, tata guys, and thanks for dropping by!

Saturday Night Fever, Resident Evil : AfterLife, Last Man Standing

What, did I have a movie marathon week ?

Nope.



So, did I enter some sort of a quiz that involves all 3 movies in my answer`?

Nay.


Or, am I writing a new book, based entirely from all 3 movies ?

Wrong !



The entry above (Saturday Night Fever, Resident Evil In The House and Last Man Standing) pretty much sums up the reason why I was unable to stay on the Net last week.



Episode One : Saturday Night Fever

Ahh...who could ever forget this movie and the soundtracks of the movie, that had brought the new meaning and changed the music landscape of the 70s ?


And who vould ever forget Mr Travolta, with his gyrating and swaying hips moves that had made girls gone crazy ?



If my doctor is this yummy looking, I don't mind having a fever!



Episode Two : The Resident Evil : AFterlife

Mila Jovovich, such a beautiful leading character in The Resident Evil: The Afterlife, kickin some bad ass zombies in that movie. Cool !!!!! And she is really stunning!


Bad-ass zombie like creatures in that movie. Gosh how I hate their ugly faces !



Mila and co-star Ali Larter, boy, they really kick some a$$ !!! Girl power to da max!


Episode Three : Last Man Standing

My fave scene in Last Man Standing. Bruce Willis is so howwwtttt!!!!



OK. So what does those movies got anything to do with my absence from blogging ?

Well, here's what happened...

There was a Saturday Night Fever episode in my household last week. But nope, it was not tke kind of fever that John Travolta had started when he pointed his index finger up towards the sky, gyrated his cute butts and danced to the tune of Staying Alive, ah ah ah ah Staying Alive, staying alive! (oh yes, this really brings back the dance floor memories!)...


It was another kind of fever.


The real McCoy kind of fever, the one that started when my MIL vomitted non stop at 3 a.m. in the morning, and had to make a few mad dash to the toilet afterwards. She was really weak after the non-stop purging sessions, and then my FIL was also infected with the same spell. We brouht both my MIL and FIL to the clinic, and they got their meds, so I thought that all would be OK. I should have expected that the whole household would be infected, but nahhh, I didn't see it coming.

So all hell break loose when my youngest prince caught the same disease by early Monday morning. He vomited non stop, and he retched and retched until al that came out from his empty tummy was just the greenish bile liquid. That really hit the panic button in me. So off to the clinic again we dashed, but the doctor reassured me that my boy is as strong as an ox, and he just prescribed some dehydration salt and some medicine to stop the vomit.


And then, by Monday evening, my 3 other boys were also infected. So right and left, up and down there were always someone vomiting in my household. Yep, it was such a nightmare! I had to be a good nurse slash doctor slash toilet cleaner etc etc...

So I prayed that I would not get infected, and that's how I envisioned myself as Alice in that movie The Resident Evil:Afterlife...yep it sounds hilarious, but I think that had helped me tremendously, I swear!

I pictured myself as Alice, with that same sexy outfit that Mila had worn on the movie, with that same high kicks that had bashed numerous zombie-like creatures, and with that same, no-nonsense attitude, and of course, I envisioned myself with that same great body (not that difficult to do this, mind you!) haha.


The only difference is our weapons. Alice used guns and knives and whatever that was handy to kill those ugly zombie. Moi, well, I used lots and lots of Dettol disinfectant and lots and lots of disinfectant handwash. But it worked for me.


By Wednesday, hubby dearest caught the same disease, but not me. I stayed strong, and healthy and still kicking some nasty germs that dared to come into my household, very much the epitome of super sexy and gorgeous femme fatale. So in other words, I was the Last Man Standing in that nasty diarrhea episode that invaded my house last week.


sigh....


Penat, kan ????

So I'm off for my well-deserved rest (clue to hubby : some 6-stars hotel stay for 2 nights wouldn't hurt).

Yeah. As if my hubby reads my blog, hahaha !

Well, off to rest anyway, and maybe this time I should envisioned myself as Lara Croft, off for another of her great adventure!


Take care, people, and don't let that nasty diarrhea germs bite you!

Craving Session...Arghhh!!

Argh. Since I came back from Raya, I just couldn't shake this craving that have....This craving really drove me crazy but I just couldn't find the right channel to assuage the lust that I have (oh mama mia!)


You see, I crave for this object.


It's gray in colour, cylinder in shape (like a sausage to be exact),, longish (about 6 inches minimum, and can go up to a whopping 10 inches long), and yep, it came in sizes - the small ones would normally have a diameter of roughly 1 inch across, and the big ones would have a diameter of about 2 inches across...In whatever sizes that it came from, it's deeply satisfying, and once I taste it I just couldn't stop !!!! I would just go on and on and on and on until I am fully satiated. And yep, I would just suck every juicy bits of that thingy, every last drop of that juicy, velvety good taste!


Wait. Did I sound like a sultry, super sexy adult (read:porn) movie advertisement ????

Sarah Michelle Gellar, former Buffy The Vampire Slayer actress....yummy!


Alamak...Sorry to mislead you.


Was actually talking about this.


Keropok lekor Terengganu..
Pic from the Net


You see, the other day, when I came back from Terengganu for Raya, I didn't get a chance to stock up my keropok lekor. Reason being, Mr Hubby decided to try the supposedly finished LPT/Lebuhraya Pantai Timur highway and bypassing the coastal state roads along Marang/Dungun/Kemaman, which are laden with roadside stalls that offers a haven for seafood lovers.

Yep, I missed those keropok lekor or fish sausage (I made up that description!), that keropok keping (fish crackers?), all those lovely ikan kering/salted fish, budu (anchovies sauce?) etc etc....sigh....


So this prompted another trip down memory lane, when my relatives used to make their own keropok...Hopefully, by doing this I could ease off my keropok lekor cravings...hmmm, worth a shot, no ????



You see, the single most important ingredient in making keropok is of course, the fish. The more, the better. And the best fish is ikan tamban, for its sweet, sweet taste. There's also keropok ikan parang, which are famous with people from outside Terengganu because the keropok or the crackers would bloom after frying, and it had that lovely whitish colour. Of course there are many other fish which are suitable for keropok, but I simply love keropok ikan tamban.

Then, after the fish, you must have sago powder, which would help the fish mixture to stick together and hold their shapes once you roll. And of course you must add in salt and enough MSGs (optional) for taste.


OK, that's the ingredient. So how to make keropok ?

First, you must remove the scales and the skin of the fishes. The scales and the skins would make it hard for the fish mixture to stick together, so to speak, so off them go from the fish. Next, you remove the head. Just chop their heads off, show no mercy! Next, make a small slit along the fish body, and remove the guts (this is basic, who eats fish guts anyway?). Then, make another incision along the fish backbone, and remove the flesh from the bones.

Repeat this procedure until you have enough fish fillets, or until you run out of fish, or until you can't stand with the fishy smell haha. OK so next, you pound the fish fillets, and mix it with the sago powder and salt and MSGs fro taste. When I was a child, there was no such thing as a machine to pound the fish, so the adults would take turns in pounding the fish in a big, wooden mortar and pestle.

Then, you roll the mixture into that cylinder shape. In the mean time, the heat up a big periuk with enough water, pour a bit salt, and wait for the water to boil. Once it boiling, just throw the keropok rolls into the hot water and once the keropok surfaced on the hot water, voila, it's a sign that the keropok is already fully cooked. So it's chow time!!!!!


We, the Terengganu people have no qualms in eating the boiled keropoks, it's fully cooked already. But then, there are squeamish people out there who are scared to eat those boiled keropoks (read: my Hubby), so we invent the method to cut those long rolls into shorter (and cuter!) pieces, and fry those in oils. But of course, frying will intensify the taste, and will make the keropok taste even better, yummyyyy!!!!!

Keropok Goreng for tea time...
Pic also from the Net

To make keropok crackers, wait for the keropok rolls to cool down (normally the next day), and just slice the keropok rolls into paper thin pieces, and dry those under the hot, scorching sun for a few days, alternately turning the cracker pieces so that they would have enough exposure to the sun. Of course there are machines to do all these jobs nowadays, I am just recalling the traditional method of producing keropoks....


The most famous place for keropok in Terengganu is a place called Losong. So the name keropok Losong is almost like a brand name, with places as far as Cherating and Kota Bharu also boast of selling keropok Losong at their stalls. During Raya of school holidays, the queue for keropok Losong is very, very long, and could easily turn into catfights if you are stupid enough to cheat and cut queue of the guy or the makcik before you! Lol!




Argh. Talking about this simply intensify my cravings. Gaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! Mayday mayday, need to make a phone call to Terengganu and ask (read: FORCE) my sister to go and buy the keropok, and courier them to me.


Ahhhhh don't I love the technology and the courier company ???


Well I rest my case....

Raya Memoir : The Beach, The Sea And My Heart....

Just came back from my kampung for raya...sigh....and I still got some pieces of my heart there...sob...sob....2 days just felt like 2 minutes, and I'm still longing for my hometown...aghhhh!!!!!!!


So with that, let me just pour out my longings here in my blog....hmmmm so where do I start this eyyyy ????



Geographically, I hailed from the East Coast of Malaysia, where there are many, many pretty pretty women per square feet, more than any other places in Malaysia, yours truly included. (haha!).

Terengganu is the name of the state, and Batu Burok Beach, is the name of my kampung. So that's the geographical facts. Enough with that.



Ahhh Batu Buruk...do you know that the name Batu Buruk is derived from one huge rock that resides about 500 metres from the beach ? The rock is not very big, but it is clearly visible from the beach, and here's the fact, the rock NEVER tenggelam or sink below sea level, even when the monsoon season or high tide !!!! Yups, even during the high tide, you can still see the tips of the rock, winking at you amidst the crazy, monstrous and swollen angry sea.



And Batu Buruk is such a beautiful place to be.



Picture this.


The beach...an endless long, white, pristine beach. And the sea in front of you that came in almost all shades of blues and greens, and sometimes the blues and greens are intertwined together, creating a new shade of turquoise that you won't find in any artist's palettes. And then the sky above reflected the sea shade in blue, and the gentle fresh breeze softly blowing right at you, like a lover's sweet whispers and caresses...mmmmmmm.....


Feels like paradise, right ?

Batu Buruk Beach...bellisima!!!!!



Well, that's my paradise, that's my childhood playground, and that's where pieces of my heart still remain....


And it was such a charming place for a playground. I remembered many, many games there. One that I fondly remembered is the war games. First, we ( me n my cousins and kampung friends) would dig up holes about knee deep. The holes would be our forts or barricades. And for ammo, we would go to the wet sand neat the water edge, dug up the wet sand, and rolled up the sands into many, many tiny balls. Then we would roll the balls onto the dry sand. Somehow, the dry sands made the wet sandy balls hold its shape, and we would stocked up those as much as we could. Those would be our hand grenades (yes Uncle Lee, I started early on the hand grenade thingy!).


And then the war began, and we throw up our ammo left and right, up and down and every direction in the horizon.


By the time our little war is over, we would have sands in our ears, in our mouths, in our bajus and all over our bodies, and this, would trigger our moms to be an incredible hulk to see us in such a mess! And of course we would very much like to avoid such a situation. No, thank you very much! Incurring the wraths of our mothers is a big NO NO!


So we would (stupidly) opted to wash all the sands from our bodies (i.e. removing the evidence) by dunking into the sea. And we had such a fun time getting rid of all the sandy evidence and chasing each other and continuing our war games in the sea. And boy it was fun!


Until someone pointed out that our grannies were standing near the sea shores, with a pelepah kelapa raised high and shouting for ALL of us to come out of the water.



That evening all of us got a nasty canning from our fathers because we mandi laut without any adult's supervision. And that is how we learn that besides from incurring the wrath of our mothers, we must also avoid from incurring the wrath of our fathers ! sigh.....such were the memories...


And I remembered how we (yep, the same gang again) would hunt down for little crabs and clams in the shallow sea water, and cooked those little buggers in Milo tins and have our own little BBQ party by the beach! I only stopped doing such activity when one of my aunts pointed out that we were being cruel to the little buggers, coz we cooked those buggers alive! Gasp! Masak hidup-hidup ??? Kejam tuh ! And I don't want to be cruel to the animals, so that is how our little BBQ parties ended....sigh.....such were the memories....


But we respected the sea. Even though we always curi-curi mandi laut without our parents' consent (we did this by mandi laut only when our grannies took their naps in the afternoon, thus bypassing the informers, smart thinking, kan???), we would never go near the sea during the monsoon season. Somehow, we have this inborn or built in instinct that the sea is not always a safe place to be.....


But I still love the sea, no matter how it looked. Looking at the sea made me forget all my worries. And watching the endless waves crashing on the shores made me feel calm. And seeing the big blue sea, with the big, blue sky above made me think that anything is possible.


And last few days, I rekindled my long, childhood romance with the sea, the beach and the sky....yet it still feels like I don't have enough, and I'm still longing for more....


And all I have are just memories.....



Batu Buruk, in the early hours in the mornin....





The South China Sea rushed to greet me, like long lost lovers embracing each other after long, long separation....and the morning sun blessed our little rendezvous with its golden glory....yup I'm being super poetic...must be the sea water....




My own boys, having a sand frenzy moments...it's such a delight to see this moments...



Sigh....enough with this reminiscence, hope that I can persuade my Hubby to balik kampung again, perhaps next month hehe...

So here's wishing all of you....


Selamat Hari Raya, peeps....thanks for dropping by !

Maaf Zahir Batin....


signed
Razzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (yep, off to sleep and dream of my charming little paradise)

The End is Near : The Frenzy Tales of Ramadhan

Today is day 23 of Ramadhan, so in 7 days or less, Muslims all around the world will be rejoicing and celebrating the new moon of Syawal, the month of victory. This new month is much anticipated after a hardship of enduring hunger and thirst while fasting, and restraining oneself from doing things that can batal your puasa. Do I need to elaborate on things that can make your puasa batal ? Don't have lehhhh....OK





Ramadhan is a blessed month, it is said to be the month of maghfirah - forgiveness from Allah from all of your past sins. And theoretically, Muslims are supposed to do lots of amal ibadah in order to get the divine forgiveness from Allah. And so, there's a frenzy among good Muslims to double up their solat or prayers instead of dancing ther butts off at the clubs, more Quran recitals instead of listening to Justin Biebers saying 'I would never say neverrrrrr!' (itu example lah ye!) and lots and lots of derma, or donations to the poors.



A Muslimah reciting Quran at Blue Mosque, Turkey


Women performing solat at Prospect Park, Brooklyn New York


Muslims performing solat at Guantanamo Bay Prison.

All photo credits belong to: http://islamicsunrays.com


Those are the good kind of frenzy.




There's another kind of frenzy, the one that are happening to a vast majority of Malaysian Muslims especially.


The first frenzy of this kind, began on the very first day of Ramadhan.


It is called the PaRam frenzy. PaRam, as in Pasar Ramadhan, or Ramadhan Bazaar, Ramadhan market. It is where people flocked to that makeshift markets for some kuihs, or lauk buka puasa or simply cuci mata. And there's a wide array of foods displayed, enough to make you gone crazy, especially since you are hungry and thirsty, from fasting that everything at PaRam looks delicious and you must buy simply EVERYTHING!!!!!

There are that must have onde-onde or buah melaka, that exotic kuih tahi itik, that gangster kuih lompat tikam, that delightful bubur kacang, plain old karipap or ts upgraded sister, the karipap pusing, the thirst quencher and colourful puddings and so on and so forth.

And there are to die for murtabaks, laksa Penang, Mi Kari, mi sup, mi goreng, char koay teow, nai beriani, nasi ayam, sate, ayam pusing, kepak ayam madu et cetera et cetera.

And the lauk to accompany the nasi! There are ayam masak merah, ikan bakar, terung goreng berlada, patin masak tempoyak, rendang daging, kurma daging, phewwwwww...I am salivating simply by reciting the lists!

Suffice to say, Pasar Ramadhan is a mini food carnival, and it is really some serious gastronomic affair. It's not a place to be if you are watching your weight, and it can also incur some serious damage on your wallet content. Yours truly, for instance, spent RM60 alone on day 1 of Ramadhan at PaRam. And I only stopped from buying more food because I hot my hands already full with countless plastic bags, on both hands! Sigh...


PaRam has its ups and downs graph. The highest turnover is on the first and the last day of Ramadhan, and people can be really frantic in buying foods in these two days. And normally, week one will record a high turnover when reckless, lazy and kaki makan people (read : moi, yours truly, me!) will frantically buy foods and keep on alternating between stores and buying different variety of foods (read: found out that the foods that I had bought are not tasty at all, so had to switch to other makcik!).

After week one is over, the PaRam fever cooled down a little (read: this normally happen after one week of moaning and cursing the makciks for selling foods that are not tasty at all, harap nampak jer cantik tapi rasa yuckkyyyyy!).


And then, enter phase two of Ramadhan fever. Once the PaRam fever subsides, there's another frenzy that will fill its void. This is the COOKING frenzy phase. This is when you are done with all the moanings and cursings of irresponsible PaRam food sellers for selling foods that are not up to your standards, and TING! there's a light bulb lighting up your mind, and you started to think that Hey! I can cook like that also lehhh!!!!!


And so it began. All that energies, all that hours spent in the kitchen cooking whatever it is that came into mind. Nasi biryani, nasi ayam, laksa Penang, fried noodle, soup noodle, onde-onde,ikan bakar, honey roasted chicken, kurma daging, rendang ayam etc etc etc and the list goes on.


This phase is also short lived. It will normally have a life span of one week, or two the most. Reason for dying : aiyyahhhhh...so susah la to cook and then had to clean up some more (read : masak sendiri pun tak sedap jugak!!!!)




Right after the cooking disaster frenzy, errr whoops, did I say cooking disaster ? I meant to say Cooking Frenzy phase is over, there's a shopping raya frenzy. Now this is the phase when people would think about what colour theme is it going to be for their baju raya attire....


Let's see, last year it was lavender theme, when all the baju, handbag and shoes were perfectly matched in lavender hues that I resembled a walking lavender farm, so this year is a close contest between turquoise, or perhaps that rare dog's poop gray (kelabu tah* anjing lerrr) theme ? Hmmmmm dilemma dilemma....


And what about handbags ? Prada or Gucci ? But Coach is the IN thing now. And how about LV ? Aiyyohhhh cannot la. The other day I saw a makcik selling kuihs at PaRam also wear Louis Vuitton handbag ! Gaaaa!!!!!!


Huh. And what about shoes ? That Jimmy Choo's stiletto is to die for, but how to wear stiletto when I had to carry a chubby 1 year old in my arms ? Huh dilemma dilemma..... (yeah like I wear Prada or Gucci of LV or JC hahaha)

And the tudung selections to choose from...there's Aryani, Yuna, Syrian, Bawal etc etc...huh buat I confuse saja...and the kedai emas....ahhhhhhh the kedai emas.......


Oh yes. At day 23 of Ramadhan, we are seriously entering the RAYA frenzy. You know it when radio stations and shopping complexes play the raya songs non stop, and serious shoppers flock the infamous Jalan TAR in Kuala Lumpur, causing a frenzy on the road.

Ah yes, the frenzy. This is a sign for me to stop writing for this entry, because I would also want to join the ultimate shop til you drop shopping frenzy!


Tata all, me heading for some serious marathon in a short while! (Yeah rite, says my hubby, always the party pooper)...sigh....