Monday, August 22, 2011

The End is Near : The Frenzy Tales of Ramadhan



Today is day 23 of Ramadhan, so in 7 days or less, Muslims all around the world will be rejoicing and celebrating the new moon of Syawal, the month of victory. This new month is much anticipated after a hardship of enduring hunger and thirst while fasting, and restraining oneself from doing things that can batal your puasa. Do I need to elaborate on things that can make your puasa batal ? Don't have lehhhh....OK





Ramadhan is a blessed month, it is said to be the month of maghfirah - forgiveness from Allah from all of your past sins. And theoretically, Muslims are supposed to do lots of amal ibadah in order to get the divine forgiveness from Allah. And so, there's a frenzy among good Muslims to double up their solat or prayers instead of dancing ther butts off at the clubs, more Quran recitals instead of listening to Justin Biebers saying 'I would never say neverrrrrr!' (itu example lah ye!) and lots and lots of derma, or donations to the poors.



A Muslimah reciting Quran at Blue Mosque, Turkey


Women performing solat at Prospect Park, Brooklyn New York


Muslims performing solat at Guantanamo Bay Prison.

All photo credits belong to: http://islamicsunrays.com


Those are the good kind of frenzy.




There's another kind of frenzy, the one that are happening to a vast majority of Malaysian Muslims especially.


The first frenzy of this kind, began on the very first day of Ramadhan.


It is called the PaRam frenzy. PaRam, as in Pasar Ramadhan, or Ramadhan Bazaar, Ramadhan market. It is where people flocked to that makeshift markets for some kuihs, or lauk buka puasa or simply cuci mata. And there's a wide array of foods displayed, enough to make you gone crazy, especially since you are hungry and thirsty, from fasting that everything at PaRam looks delicious and you must buy simply EVERYTHING!!!!!

There are that must have onde-onde or buah melaka, that exotic kuih tahi itik, that gangster kuih lompat tikam, that delightful bubur kacang, plain old karipap or ts upgraded sister, the karipap pusing, the thirst quencher and colourful puddings and so on and so forth.

And there are to die for murtabaks, laksa Penang, Mi Kari, mi sup, mi goreng, char koay teow, nai beriani, nasi ayam, sate, ayam pusing, kepak ayam madu et cetera et cetera.

And the lauk to accompany the nasi! There are ayam masak merah, ikan bakar, terung goreng berlada, patin masak tempoyak, rendang daging, kurma daging, phewwwwww...I am salivating simply by reciting the lists!

Suffice to say, Pasar Ramadhan is a mini food carnival, and it is really some serious gastronomic affair. It's not a place to be if you are watching your weight, and it can also incur some serious damage on your wallet content. Yours truly, for instance, spent RM60 alone on day 1 of Ramadhan at PaRam. And I only stopped from buying more food because I hot my hands already full with countless plastic bags, on both hands! Sigh...


PaRam has its ups and downs graph. The highest turnover is on the first and the last day of Ramadhan, and people can be really frantic in buying foods in these two days. And normally, week one will record a high turnover when reckless, lazy and kaki makan people (read : moi, yours truly, me!) will frantically buy foods and keep on alternating between stores and buying different variety of foods (read: found out that the foods that I had bought are not tasty at all, so had to switch to other makcik!).

After week one is over, the PaRam fever cooled down a little (read: this normally happen after one week of moaning and cursing the makciks for selling foods that are not tasty at all, harap nampak jer cantik tapi rasa yuckkyyyyy!).


And then, enter phase two of Ramadhan fever. Once the PaRam fever subsides, there's another frenzy that will fill its void. This is the COOKING frenzy phase. This is when you are done with all the moanings and cursings of irresponsible PaRam food sellers for selling foods that are not up to your standards, and TING! there's a light bulb lighting up your mind, and you started to think that Hey! I can cook like that also lehhh!!!!!


And so it began. All that energies, all that hours spent in the kitchen cooking whatever it is that came into mind. Nasi biryani, nasi ayam, laksa Penang, fried noodle, soup noodle, onde-onde,ikan bakar, honey roasted chicken, kurma daging, rendang ayam etc etc etc and the list goes on.


This phase is also short lived. It will normally have a life span of one week, or two the most. Reason for dying : aiyyahhhhh...so susah la to cook and then had to clean up some more (read : masak sendiri pun tak sedap jugak!!!!)




Right after the cooking disaster frenzy, errr whoops, did I say cooking disaster ? I meant to say Cooking Frenzy phase is over, there's a shopping raya frenzy. Now this is the phase when people would think about what colour theme is it going to be for their baju raya attire....


Let's see, last year it was lavender theme, when all the baju, handbag and shoes were perfectly matched in lavender hues that I resembled a walking lavender farm, so this year is a close contest between turquoise, or perhaps that rare dog's poop gray (kelabu tah* anjing lerrr) theme ? Hmmmmm dilemma dilemma....


And what about handbags ? Prada or Gucci ? But Coach is the IN thing now. And how about LV ? Aiyyohhhh cannot la. The other day I saw a makcik selling kuihs at PaRam also wear Louis Vuitton handbag ! Gaaaa!!!!!!


Huh. And what about shoes ? That Jimmy Choo's stiletto is to die for, but how to wear stiletto when I had to carry a chubby 1 year old in my arms ? Huh dilemma dilemma..... (yeah like I wear Prada or Gucci of LV or JC hahaha)

And the tudung selections to choose from...there's Aryani, Yuna, Syrian, Bawal etc etc...huh buat I confuse saja...and the kedai emas....ahhhhhhh the kedai emas.......


Oh yes. At day 23 of Ramadhan, we are seriously entering the RAYA frenzy. You know it when radio stations and shopping complexes play the raya songs non stop, and serious shoppers flock the infamous Jalan TAR in Kuala Lumpur, causing a frenzy on the road.

Ah yes, the frenzy. This is a sign for me to stop writing for this entry, because I would also want to join the ultimate shop til you drop shopping frenzy!


Tata all, me heading for some serious marathon in a short while! (Yeah rite, says my hubby, always the party pooper)...sigh....

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I'm Hannibal The Cannibal !!!! Gasp!!!!!!






Remember him ? THE Hannibal Lecter, the infamous cannibal character ever invented on screen. And I secretly believed that Hannibal Lecter the Cannibal is the sexiest villain, on par with Captain Jack Sparrow (The Pirates of Carribean) and that guy who starred as Imhotep in The Mummy Returns.


And gosh, Anthony Hopkins really played his part to the boot! I remembered watching the movie, and I had this goosebumps all over my body just by looking at him. I mean, his character was supposed to be pure evil, a megalomaniac, a psychopath who killed and EAT his victims coldheartedly, with no remorse whatsoever. But in that movie his silent conduct, his wisdom and his eloquency spoke volumes that I couldn't help feeling mesmerized and transfixed to his character! And that, really give me the creeps!




Creepy yet intriguing Hannibal.


But what's more creepier is the facts that I bought the books that were written based on the movies - both The Silence of The Lambs, and its sequel, The Red Dragon. You know how novels are much, much more intimate that what you see on screen. On screen, you can scream, you can close your eyes, hid beneath your sofa or whatever, when you encounter those ugly, scarry scenes. Just shut your eyes for a few seconds, and you escaped all that gory, bloody murders. That's how I watched horror/thriller movies. I scream and shut my eyes so that I don't have to witness the ghost that leapt on screen, or whenever a psychopath killer caught his victim on screen.


My sister hates to see horror movies with me. She said she is more afraid to hear my scream than to see what is really happening on screen. I told her, well, that's what watching a horror movie is all about. It's about scrreammmmmm and let go. She said that I'm a coward. So I punched her face, and that, induced a catfight that only ends when our parents pulled us apart. I was 10, and she was 9 back then. Talk about she-cats from hell! haha








Well, anyway, the question now is, am I a cannibal ? And why ?


Remember him?

Gomok, the past.


Well, hubby dearest woke up 2 days ago, and decided that he would like to eat duck meat for iftar. So guess who ends up as dinner on our table that day ?


Yep, the Gomok.

I told Teddy my hubby that I don't eat my own pets, that it would be almost like a cannibalism to do such thing. Teddy was quick to point out that his ducks are not his pets, well, at least he doesn't look at his ducks the way that he looks at his arowana, for example. And then we argue back and forth on the semantics, and we even went as far as the history of evolution in homo sapiens, the neanderthals and the cro-magnons , just for the sake of arguing. Yeah, nasty.




A cro-magnon skull.



A Neanderthal skull reconstruction


If you want to know how a homo sapiens looks like, just look in a mirror OK!



Anyway, suffice to say that Teddy won the debate. But as a consolation prize, I told him that yep, I can cook the duck, butI won't get my hands dirty with the slaughter, the cleaning/processing of internal organs/feathers etc etc. And I can't promise that I would eat the duck!

So we reached an agreement, and Teddy kept to his promises. And so I cooked the duck meat that day. The rendang kerutup itek that I cooked in my huge wok (yep, I cooked 1 whole bird, coz Teddy's staff in office are all duck meat lovers!) doesn't at all reminds me of Gomok. And by iftar or buka puasa time, when I put the rendang on the serving plates, all that I can see is just....wahlauuu...the rendang looks like chicken only mehhh!!!


And Teddy gently put 1 portion of the rendang on my plate. I glared at him at first, but hunger took over me, and I gingerly squeezed and pinched the piece of meat on my plate. The meat was dark, unlike the white flesh of a chicken. Oh gosh, I'm soooo ready to puke! But I tahan, just as I don't call forth Gomok's image in my mind. And so I took the first bite, and..................


OhMyGod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It was delicious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



And that, is how I crossed over to the 'other' side.




Of course not the cannibalism part.




But the duck meat lover society, if there's one society like that. Haha












Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Duck Tales : Cerita Itik GAMPANG (??)

Gampang.

If you say the that word in Indonesia, people would just shrug it off and you won't risk being gang-bashed by some angry crowd. Gampang in Indonesian language means easy.


But tongues will wag and (perfectly embroidered) eyebrows will raise, if you utter that particular word in Malaysia. And yes, you could risk some great injuries on your body if you say that word out loud.

Loosely translated, it means 'el bastardo', or son of a *itch (yep, something that rhymes with witch), or simply said, it means anak haram in BM.


OK, enough with that fascinating word facts. I'm not a language expert, and we are not here not talk about Malay-Indo discrepancies, nor are we arguing semantics here.


It was midday, and I was clearing the unwashed dishes and preparing to cook for Iftar, or buka puasa dish. Yours truly and her mom in law were in the kitchen, just having a small chat.

And then, out of the blue, my mother in law uttered the word ITIK GAMPANG and I who have such delicate ears (haha yeah, right!) almost dropped the plates that I was washing.


"Hah ? Mak cakap apa tadi ????!", I said.


And then she repeated the same words. And I, who was only half listening to what my MIL had been talking about (heyy, so I daydream a little and not really paying attention to what she was talking about, yep...I'm a bad daughter in law!!!!) had to ask dear MIL to repeat the subject matter that she was talking about.


She was talking about this.



Introducing : Inchek Gemok, my fat little duck.


According to MIL, Inchek Gemok - the fattest duck among Teddys' 14 little precious had started to mate with other female ducks (oh finally!). But he chose to mate with an itik telur (reared for its eggs). So according to MIL, a marriage between an itik daging (reared for its meat) and itik telur, will result in itik gampang! Gampang, because the mother is 'easy' that another breed of duck can climb on top of her....Oh. Such a stigma....and I couldn't help feeling sorry for that poor itik gampangs everywhere who had to live with such stigma...sigh....


Well, enough about that social label. The question now is, how in the world can a city gal like me, get stuck and involved with such animals ?


Well, for the past 8 months, we had left our home in Kuala Lumpur and stayed in Pahang. It was Teddy's decision to take a year off from office work,just do some free-lancing consultations and sales projects, and be with his parents who were not quite well back then. So I, being a good wife, just went along with his plans.


And, along the way, out of boredom, and also for the sake of venturing into some unknown territories, my hubby Teddy decided to grow some chickens, ducks, quails and birds in our vast backyards. He also went to the extent of planting 100 chili plants, the cili padi variety, you know, the kind of that small,tiny chillies but pedas like hell!!!! Oh but I sooooo love cili padi, couldn't live without them hehe...


He said it is just a POC - a proof of concept, so to speak, because in near future he would like to venture into the agricultural business. Hmmm...


That, and because he said that there-is -going-to-be-some-kind-of-a-big-disaster-in-the-year-2012, so-we-might-as-well-take-precautions-and-get-ready-with-it.


Whew!

Well, I don't have any idea regarding the big disaster that is going to happen in yhe year 2012, and I just took a que sera sera stand on this issue. Yep, whatever will be, will be...


Anyway, back to Teddy's livestocks, sad to say that the little baby chicks died, but the ducks, the quails and the birds survived and flourished. The quails, (4 of them, 3 females and 1 lucky male), got nothing better to do than to reproduce. Everyday, there would be about 10 tiny quail eggs in their 'apartment', and that's a minimum figure. Yeah, go quail!!!!!!! (my personal thought is, the word aphrodisiac should have the picture/iconic image of a quail right next to it haha)


The ducks had been with us for almost 5 months, and by now they should already mate and hatch eggs, but ZILCH! No eggs!


But boy, they CAN really eat! They can finish off a 25kg sack of ducks food in just a few days. And they finished off any small plants and leaves that are low enough for them to grab. And they grew fatter and fatter, and Inchek Gemok is the fattest of them all....


And it is sooooo fascinating to watch the ducks. They really stick together, moving together in a single file, like little soldiers marching off for some big battlefields...My favorite time is the feeding time, I would scoop out their food from the sack, and pour the grains into the pots, and they would rush for the food, eat noisily, yet elegantly, pecking off every single grain, like tomorrow would never come...


My hubby Teddy's little darlings, all 14 of them...come on, bila uols nak mengawan ??? haha


Well, maybe I should change my blog header to something like Living A Kampung Life, right ? Hmmm...



Wednesday, August 3, 2011

My First Love...

My first love...
you're every breath that I take,

You're every step I made,
And I,
I want to share
all my love with you....

Endless Love/Diana Ross...
(Hail Madame Ross, such a beautiful vocal!
)



Ahhh yes...last night, as I was about to sleep, I played this song on my cute little netbook, courtesy of YouTube and made possible by an uninterrupted broadband link....

And that reminds me of my own first love....sigh...(with that faraway look that signals that we would be taking a long walk down memory lane)



Ah yes, he is my very first love. I started to fall in love with him, even without having to see him, or meet him face to face. And this feeling grew and grew, and by the time I finally got to meet him face to face, I was completely head over heels in love with him.


It was the kind of love that proclaims I love you till the moon don't shine, till the sun cease its burn, till the sea dry up.....the kind of I love you till eternity.......



And it was such an emotional day, the day we finally draw the curtain, and met each other. I cried with joy when I saw him. He was everything that I had imagined, and more. And when we touched for the first time , I was enslaved to him -all lock, stock and barrel....and I got so overwhelmed by a sudden rush of the love so pure and so true, that's it's almost at the primal or animal instinct level...


And when I caressed his naked body, I was overcome with an euphoria that every mother should feel after 2 hours of battling pain in the labor room...


Don't hold your breath, yep, I said first love, love, naked, mother and labor room in describing the same subject....


I'm talking about him...my first born, my first love...


Ultraman numero uno, day 1....


Ultraman numero uno, 8 years later...


We took many first steps together, both he and I.


And this year, he took another first step...he completed his puasa, and I mean full day puasa!!!!! Oh gosh, I am soooooooooooooooooooo proud of him, my little crown prince, my first love...

Yeah, go Ultraman!!!!!

Salam Ramadhan, people...have a blessed Ramadhan...