Have No Fear, I Got The Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's take a walk down the memory lane.( It's NOT a long walk, mind you, considering that I'm not that old, just reach 27 years of age (27, again???) haha, sorry could't resist that lorrr)



Anyways, I remembered back when I was still a teenager ( note : again, that's not a very longgggg time ago, I strongly believe that my teenage years are just FIVE years back, and let us just stick to that, like, FOREVER! haha) and well, I have this deep rooted fear whenever my mom asked me to do this specific chores....


Was it mopping the floor ?
Nope. I got my brothers to do that.


So was it doing the dishes?
Hell, no! That's what my younger sister is for.


Cooking ?
Wrong answer. I got my elder sisters to do that, thank you very much.


Chasing the cows and the goats and all the ayam itiks back into their pens?
No No No No No!!!! That's what people in DALLAS do (hahaha....)


So what was it ?

I'll give you clues.

It's boxy.

It got sharp, jagged little teeth.

It can spin and rotate its head in 360 degrees angle.


GASP!

Am I talking about.....ghost ? hantu ? Kui ?


Still clueless ????


Here's another clue.



The worst thing is, I need to put my hand closely to its head and let its teeth chew and shred the coconuts into tiny little pieces!


HELLOOOOOOOO darlin, am talking about the coconut shredder machine la sayang oii!


What were you thinking ?


Did you think that I was describing pontianak ? Poltergeist? Hantu cina ?


Sheeeshhh!



Anyway..............

Yeah I got a serious problem whenever my mom asked me to 'mesin kelapa', so to speak. I can't mop the floor, coz my bros had done that, can't do the dishes coz I had conveniently 'delegate' the task to my younger sis, and I definitely can't cook, coz nobody would dare to eat what I cooked (back then la OK, now no more ya!)...and so I'm stuck with the 'mesin kelapa' task.


And for those of you who raises your cute little noses and exclaimed that there are instant coconut milk everywhere, in supermarket got, in pasar also got, please.... let me remind you that this is the 90's, about twenty years back! (hey did I say twenty ? God Gracious! I mean FIVE years back! lol)

It was the time when instant coconut milk is almost uheard of, and when people patiently 'kukur' their own coconuts to make santan, or whatever!!

What ? You can't recall how a mesin kelapa looks like? Argh!


Enter Exhibit A : The Coconut Shredder Machine...
I got goosebumps just by starring at its revolving head.





Exhibit B : The post-shred coconut shell aka tempurung kelapak.

Note : I took the initiative to snap the pics, so the photo credits are all mine, MINE!!!!! muahahaha (evil queen laugh)


And so, I avoided as much as I can from being near to the coconut shredder machine. Shamelessly I cheated, I gave bribes (usually to my younger sis, and my endless lists of bibiks) and I did almost everything that I can so that I won't have to do the coconut shredder task. And I did it soooooooooooooooo beautifully.


And then came the era of the instant coconut milk. You can either buy the coconut milk in a box, or the freshly squeezed coconut milks from the pasar, and I thought that I had entered pure heaven.



Until today.

My MIL had prepared to cook daging masak lomak cili api, and she had prepared all the ingredients (thank you mom!), when suddenly, her friend came in the house and announced that there's a death in the neighborhood, and my MIL got called for the mandikan jenazah/body cleansing ritual for the dearly departed.

And so, she handover the cooking baton to moi. Which is not a problem at all, I can do the masak lomak cili padi with my eyes closed! kacang maa...easy as a cake.


Some more, she had prepared all the ingredients what. All the bawangs, kunyits, the chillies etc etc. Everything. Except the MUST have coconut milk. Actually, she had came to the part where she had cut the coconut shells in two, just conveniently waiting to be shredded by the machine! And what is masak LEMAK cili padi without the coconut milk ? masak cili padi won't do babe!


Oh how I freaked out.

I normally stocked out on instant coconut milks, I usually bought the six-pack cartons and just keep those in the freezer, so whenever I felt like cooking something that requires santan aka coconut milk, I would just open the freezer door, wave my magic wand and voila! instant coconut milk at my service!

But not today. No cute little box of instant santan in my fridge. And with that, my magic wand is useless. And I'd really, really freaked out. Like, it's Friday when the males must g to the mosque for the Friday prayer, and the boys are coming back from school early cozz it's freakin Friday and I'm freakin' out coz I don't know what else to do!!!!

It did cross my mind to fake pengsan, but nobody is in the house. What's the use of faking and staging a pass out with no audience ?

So I Called Teddy and asked him to buy some instant coconut milks, but he was already on his way back, and some more it's Friday, so most of the shops are closed for the Friday prayer.

And time is running out.

Tick tock tick tock....


And so it's just me and the dreaded coconut shredder machine.

Do or die.

Sync or swim.

And I took my steps to the coconut shredder machine, and rubbed my hands all over its body, just for courage (and luck), and I hold the coconut shells tightly in my hands, closed my eyes and........


I DID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I grated and shredded the coconut shells, both of them without any scratch or cuts whatsoever !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yay for bravery.


So now I'm enrolling myself for paragliding, or perhaps bungee jump that I had always wanted to do, but I was too chicken-sh*t to do!

sigh...yeah I can talk big maaahh