A Journal About Falling In Love

Here's the truth. I'm fallin in love again.

Yeah. Truthfully, completely, head over heels in love.

It's the fourth time that I fell in love, the fourth time that I feel a love so deep and profound.

A love without condition, border-less, to infinity and beyond, to eternity...forever...

A love so beautiful, so meaningful....


First encounter with love:


Hafiz, @14th Feb 2003



Second love

Hakim, @ 2May 2005


Third encounter with love

Abdul Rahman, @17th August 2007
(note : aku baru prasan yg aku takde gambo baby CikMan...sorry!)

And my current squeeze:

Yusoff Solehuddin, @1st September 2010




I wonder what is it about newborn babies that call upon such a great, profound feelings of love and protection?

I mean, newborn babies don't do much, except sleep, poop, pee and breastfeed like there's no tomorrow. And yet you want to protect them with your own life. And even if they don't do much except cry, you still want to kiss their sweet, heavenly smell and gaze at them for hours on end, and make conversation with them with your silly baby-voice....



And even if you are deprived of your precious beauty sleep because the baby keeps you awake at night, you love them still, and smile sweetly at your little bundle of joy who wakes you up at 3am in the morning...


Sigh...


Enough with blogging...I want to gaze at my baby...






Psstt : Entry kali ini adalah bertujuan untuk men-'saiko' ahkakbatik, Puan Banana dan pembaca lain blog aku supaya jeles dan rendu dengan bau baby jugak, lalu tawun depan mereka juga bakal jadi mak buyung !!! heh heh

Ini Bukan Cerita Raya !!!!!!!

Untuk tidak menghampakan jiran blog aku yang nunnn di kejauhan di North Carolina yang sedang fobia membaca cerita tentang raya, maka aku tidak sekali kali akan bercerita tentang topik raya.



Citer pasal rendang ka, nasi impit ka kuah kacang ka lomang ka laksa Johor ka lontong ka sate ka nasi dagang ka nasi istana ka......... ermmmmmmm alahai....sedapnya andai dapat ku menghirup kuah sate sambil mengunyah ngunyah sate yang lembut gebu penuh perisa rempah ratus sambil dikelilingi oleh kuih raya yang melimpah ruah dengan pelbagai nama omputeh seperti Almond Bar, Tiramisu Princess, Cheese Sticks (nota: tu sumer tu kuih raya yg aku order dan aku tengah sorok untuk mengelakkan hijack dari otomen)....oh alangkah enaknya...........emmmmmmm........bayangkan pulak saat itu aku sudah mampu berkebaya ketat untuk menyerlahkan pinggangku yang ramping dan perutku yang sudah flatscreen....oh bagaikan di syorga..............



Eh apa aku buat nih ???? Fokus !!!! Fokus !!!!!!!!! Ya ampun ahkakbatiks...maapkan aku yang sedang 8 hari berpantang dan selalu lupa seperti kata Che Dets....melayu memang mudah luposs....ya ampun !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Mari kita bercakap tentang baby, memandangkan aku pun masih teringat memori indah waktu beranak 8 hari lalu....heh heh

Baby : Up Close And Personal
Nama masih belum diputuskan lagi. Finalised names :
Close contests between

Rayyan Solehuddin
or
Yusoff Solehuddin

Aku prefer nama Rayyan Solehuddin, tapi Teddy kata ado unsur2 omputeh...cheh, tetiba jadi alim warak pulok ! huh menyampah aku...penat2 aku peknen, separuh maut aku beranak, alih2 tang nama dia lak pegang kuasa veto!

So why Rayyan ? Why Solehuddin? Why Yusoff ?

Marilah kita sama2 menyelami minda ku dan menilai apa yang baik ekk...jom.....


Rayyan maksudnya kepuasan, pintu syurga untuk orang2 yg berpuasa.

Solehuddin - sempena nama pahlawan Islam Solehuddin Al-Ayubi (ala, kan aku ada buat entry pasal Solehuddin dulus)

Yusoff - sempena nama Nabi Yusoff a.s. selain dari tersebut sebagai seorang manusia yang mempunyai rupa paras yang indah menawan, Yusoff juga disebut dalam Al-Quran sebagai seorang pemimpin yang bijak. Kacak dan bijak lagi berkarisma, what more can I ask ?



Hurmmmm....lepas dipikir2......cam besh lak nama Yusoff Solehuddin ekk....



Ladies and Gentlemen....'Introducing...Yusoff Solehuddin !!!!

amacam...OK gak kan ?????





OK dah settle pasal nama baby....jom cerita pasal raya laks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ngeh ngeh ngeh.....

There And Back Again !

Fuh. Lega. Dah selesai. Over n done with. Macam kata P Ramlee, dah lepas azab.....

Date : 1st September
Venue : Prince Court Hospital, Serdang (hahaha sejak bilo Prince Court pindah kat Serdang?)
Event : Beranak dengan penuh bergaya....heh heh
End Result : As Below





Apa lagi yang aku boleh katakan, selain bersyukur setinggi-tingginya pada Allah, kerana memudahkan segala urusan...syukur, syukur, syukur Ya Allah (ikut lagu Raihan OK!)....


So what happened that day ? Let me recall the chain of events.

Pagi tu aku bangun dengan penuh perasaan marvelous, like I'm on top of the world. Memandangkan dah hujung bulan, maka kena la replenish groceries stock. Dah 2 bulan, Teddy jer yg pi groceries shopping, tapi pagi 31 Ogos tu batinku meronta-ronta nak ikut jugak...sempat la jugak aku beli baju raya kat bebudak...

Then balik umah, aku baring jap...then masak...masuk daging lam oven, buat roast beef...pastu buat pudding, teringin sangat nak makan pudding...pastu buat kuah mi kari...kununnya lepas terawih aku nak makan mi kari....

Then ....aku angkat beg yg berisi barang groceries......n then..........oopssss I did it again....my water broke....halamak, masa tu kul 6 petang...so aku terus sound Teddy yg tengah main PS2...n so terus capai bag baby n kitorang berlima ngan otomen terus la pi spital Serdang......sempat gak aku call abang aku kat Bukit Beruntung...distress call kaedahnya...hehe....


Sampai kat spital aku terus pi kat observation/dewan bersalin...tung tang tung tang, kul 8 baru la Dr mai check, takpo lah...doktor pun nak bukak posa gak kan...aku pun tak sakit langsung, cuma basah lenjun la sebab air keluar non stop...bila check, baru 2 cm dilated...owhhh itu psl la tak sakit...so terus admitted ke ward....

By that time, bebudak dah balik umah, anak sedara aku yg belajo yg KLIUC tolong babysit...tapi aku still tak sakit ke hapa ke...by midnight aku suruh Teddy n abang aku n kakak ipar aku balik umah jer la....dah saspen, tapi aku maintain cool....


Then 4am, aku terjaga...ada rasa sakit sikit2....sayup2 jer sakit, tapi timing interval dia adalah dalam selang 15 minit....tunggu sampai kul 5, bila sakit dah 10 minutes apart, aku terus inform nurse, n yeah baby, it'ssssssssssss showtime !!!!!!!!!


Masuk labour room kul 5:30 am....then by 6:45 aku dah selamat deliver this gorgeous creature..........

muka ala2 korean...sebab aku duk tengok drama korea gamaknya...



Alhamdulillah, no complications, aku OK, baby OK....



Again, Thank You Allah...........

The Last Mile...Storms Ahead...

So I guess this is it. The last mile, the last leg of my pregnancy terms. At 35 weeks, I have a few more weeks to go before the new baby arrives. It seems like I had ventured so far, the end is near, but there's still a mighty ocean that I must conquer. A very dangerous and treacherous water.

And I dubbed it, the Labor Ocean. Oh god, I shudder to think about this battle ahead. My past delivery experience was not easy, and I found myself having a mixed emotion on this. Part of me just want to go ahead and get this over and done with, and another part of me just want to delay this...sigh....


My motivations are - to hold the new baby safely in my arms, and to take care of my little heroes. So with that in mind, I psyche myself up for the great ocean ahead.


Looking back, this has not been an easy period in my life.


In terms of a sea voyage, this had been a very rough sail, right from the beginning. It started with the terrible morning sickness period, and once the early storm subsided, just when I thought that I would have a smooth sail, I encountered another kind of storm. An emotional storm, deadly in my vulnerable situation.


And it was a really terrible storm, a level 5 hurricane, so to speak. And it shattered the foundations of my ship. I was close to abandon the ship and be done with it, but I can't. I had other passengers aboard my ship. So I had to kick back, right at the eye of the storm. And I did that, and the storm passed. For the time being, at least.


And there will be many, many storms ahead, that I can be sure of. I just hope and pray that I
would have enough strength to kick back those storms, right smack at the balls this time...ouch...

yeah baby!

Battle of Rome...or is it ?

Triggered by my Braxton-Hicks contractions, which brought me back down to earth after I flew high like a kite, courtesy of my chocolate cravings episode, I started to work out my plans for the inevitable baby delivery process.

And believe me, this process equals the planning of a great war, the one that I hope that I would win, hands down. And guess what is the big prize ? Yeah, my own bundle of joy ! Gosh, maybe this is what the Emperor of Rome felt each time he sent off his mighty general on those conquests for lands and glory....


So with that in mind, I sorted out my plans. Just like a great Roman general, Julius Ceasar, perhaps....planning on the conquest or a campaign, I laid down my plans....


Julius Caesar
Museo della Civilta
Rome


But hey, I should had really embraced the spirit of Solehudin Al-Ayubi, working out his plan to recapture Palestine from the Crusaders in the Battle of Hatin....and come to think about it, I really really admire Solehuddin, or Saladdin as the westerns pronounce it......


Statue of Saladdin in Damascus


Yeah, cross out JC, welcome Saladdin!!!!!!



But.........Argh...just the thought of labor brings shiver down my spine. But I can't avoid this anymore. Need to work out my best-laid plan. Here's the items :-

1./ Baby clothing/paraphernalia, like baby cots/towels/napkins etc etc
Status - checked, post completed, except for baby strollers/baby car seat; (Hints:gifts are welcomed hahaha)
Note : This is the fun part. I love the baby cloth huntings...those cute baby cloth...and did I mention about the BABY GIRLS clothings? oh gosh I am very very tempted to buy that cute pink dress, but since my 3 sonograms reveal penis, so I had to refrain myself from making that purchase........sigh........yep, this is boy number four coming right up....

2./ My own post-partum necessities
Ubat - checked, ordered from my friend, awaiting delivery. I opted to use Amway's Tropical Herbs Post Natal Care Set . Had used it before, and I simply loved this product.
Note : I always cheated on ubat...hehehe...this time around, I hope that I will finish all the ubat on course...no more ponteng makan ubat OK!
Urut - Had booked from a makcik here. The only problem is that my due date will be on hari raya, so I might had to wait for one week before urut....sigh...well, can't do anything about that...
Note : I loved being pampered and massaged......looking forward to this!
Tungku & Barut : Checked, the barut/bengkung comes with the Amway set, and I bought an electric tungku....
Note : This is a MUST in my post natal care regime. I normally didn't really follow a strict diet/berpantang regime (makan, ai bantai apa yang ai rasa nak makan, n after 2 weeks of delivery ai dah keluar rumah, naughty eh??), but barut and tungku is a must, at least for the first 3 weeks.


3./ My otomen
- Oh gosh, here's the worrying factor (apart from my own labor). The other day, after Teddy went out for work, and I was watching TV with my adorable boys, I simply blurted this out to them...

Me : Boys...nanti mama bersalin, mama kena duduk hospital tau, and then mama balik bawak baby (using a happy tone) Boys : Nooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nak ikut ! mama don't go to hospital.....no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and then all of them end up crying on my lap and hugging me......and I end up crying too.....sigh....

Oh gosh...this is not my first delivery, it's my forth time, for crying out loud! But this time it's different. Before this, I normally gave birth at my kampung, and I don't have to worry about my boys while I was in the hospital. But this time, nay...we would be on our own...it will be just me, Teddy, the boys and my new baby...it's going to be tough, but I pray that Allah would ease everything for us.........



and I wonder if the great generals ever cried with this touchy issue................

Having A Braxton

Recently I am always having a Braxton.


Nope...I'm not talking about Tony Braxton although I must state here that I love Tony Braxton's songs...well, this had opened up a floodgate to my own memory lane...let me see....I remembered Tony's hits - Un-break My Heart, How Could An Angel Break My Heart...etc etc

Gosh those were my heartbreak songs,back when I was young and innocent...


I remembered how I used to play those songs over and over again, and crying myself to sleep over that sorry excuse of a guy! Talk about being young and dumb and clueless...sigh....

And Ms Braxton got such a beautiful voice, and a crazy, sexy beautiful body that she flaunts freely..........




Damn, she's got a beautiful bod....maybe I should put a rating to my blog....oh la la....


Whoops. There I go again, cakap keluar tajuk, dah sampai ke Laut Artik.....sorry, boys n girls!!!!

Now let's get back to topic. It seems that I'm always having a Braxton now. For the ignoramus, I'm talking about THE Braxton Hicks contraction. Here's something from Wiki...

Braxton Hicks contractions, also known as false labor or practice contractions are sporadic uterine contractions that usually start around 6 weeks however are not usually felt until the second trimester or third trimester of pregnancy.^[1]

So every now and then, I would feel this sharp cramp in my tummy.

And although I am still high like a kite with my chocolate addiction, this Braxton Hicks contractions bring me back to earth. It is like a big, giant warning to me. A red alert, so to speak. And hell, I respected that alert. It is boss...

And it took me down my memory lane of labor rooms and labor pains and I started to panic that I forgot how to breathe............gasp...aku kurang oksigen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And so I reached down for another bite of Snickers, Kit Kat, Cadburry's, Cloud 9 and my other chocolate friends to comfort me...sigh....

Memoir Untuk Ary : Rest In Peace.....sob...sob.....

Hari ini aku tulis entry dalam bahasa ibunda aku...Kerana aku sedang menjalani tempoh berkabung 40 hari......

Ya...berkabung atas kehilangan Ary...bukan Ari Wibowo...tapi Pengeran Putera Arowana Mudzaffar Shah...iaitu arowana peliharaan Teddy........

Aku pun tak pasti macam mana Ary boleh mati tiba-tiba...sudden death case la ni...dan aku memang telah berhempas pulas cuba menyelamatkan Ary...sumpah ! Aku cuba tukar air akuarium tu, namun Ary menghembuskan napas terakhirnya pada saat yang penuh kritikal itu...maybe aku patut buat CPR kat Ary....huhuhuhu..................


owh ARy....kenapa kau pergi sekarang ???? kenapa ??????? why ?????
aku bersedih meratap pilu atas pemergianmu..................









well....the truth is....aku bukan sedih sangat atas pemergian Ary.....tapi akusedih sebab aku tahu lepas ni mesti Teddy akan beli ikang lain.............................


dan bersama itu............musnahlah impian golang omeh kerawang yg aku dah intai kat Poh Kong semalam !!!!!!!!!!! (cue gambo pompuan jelita tengah histeria nangeh !...aku la tu)



owh Ary..............ko musnahkan impianku............................



Ary dalam kenangan...kau pergi dengan membawa impian golang omeh kerawangku.....