My G Spot

WHAT???

My G what?

Oh. Did I say g spot?

hahaha my bad. I mean my G Tab.

So sorry to misled you guys into thinking that I would be describing about ermmmm well ummmm sorry I can't even pronounce that words haha...

OK let's get down to business...

I had been hibernating again since my last entry. But this time is is not entirely my fault. I blame it on my G Tab....say that again, in English please!

Well, G Tab is actually my latest toy...it's 7 inch long (yessss size does matter!) and it is deeply satisfying to me...with my 7 inch toy, I can do it anywhere, anytime, any place! And I hd been carrying my toy with me everywhere, safely tucked inside my handbag...amd wherever, whenever I had the urge, I would reach for it, without shame! Gosh I would even sleep with my toy next to my pillow after spending countless hours with the toy....mmmm me and my toy, we are one!

That's how inseperable I am with my latest gadget, Samsung Galaxy Tablet PC with 7 inch long screen...What? You were misled again into thinking something dirty? Shame on you!

Haha...but there is  limitation to my gadget that made me shy away from my blog....it's the touch screen. Don't get me wrong. I love touch screens. It is such a liberation when you can just point with your fingers directly to the screen and get rid of accookessories like mouse or scroll buttons or whatever. Especially when you are shopping online or busily snooping on some delicious gossip boards!

But try typing or writing a full blog entry with a 7 inch screen with tiny, tiny virtual keyboard.Suddenly my long, elegant and very ladylike fingers are too wide for the sensitive virtual keyboard and I end up with a blog entry with a language that remotely resembles  a mixture of English/French/Swahili lingo...sigh...

And the air around me would be foul with all dirty dirty expletives whenever I realised that I had been writing in some alien language...so that is why I shied away from my blog...

Papa Don't Preach, I'm Keepin My Baby!!!

Papa don't preach,
I'm in trouble deep,
Papa don't preach,
I've been losin sleep
but I made up my mind,
I'm keepin' my baby ohhhh
I'm gonna keep my baby...yeahhhhhh


Do you remember that song ? Yes, it is such so 80s right? When everybody got this big big hairdos, heavy, heavy makeups and lots and lots of big big things on their colorful dresses and shirts...

                    Madonna, flaunting her 80s attire - pic from the Internet




Anyway, I am singing that particular song, and I think that's the song that closely resembles my situation now.
Yep, the very reason that kept me busy and away from my blog. 3 months to be exact. Battling emotional roller coaster rides. And that familiar feeling of nausea. And then, a deep, guttural cry that came from within....'WHAT HAVE I DONE ?'....and then...another question...'WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?'....and then I felt another wave of nausea and spinning head, and I literally felt the earth move under my feet.




 Nope, I am not pregnant....well, at least not that I know of haha...and for record, I must state here that I don't approve of mindless sex and copulations with multiple partners that would result in unwanted pregnancies and social disease....

OK enough with community message preach, now let's focus on my situation...


The thing is, *taking a deep breath*, a few months ago my wonderful, wonderful significant other had declared that he's had enough with doing his current job, which is mainly in the information technology world, and he wanted to venture and explore a totally new horizon, which is the interior design/office renovation works. For record, my SO had been doing and running government projects and tenders in IT field. And so, being a good wife, I told him that Interior Design wouldn't be easy, and that there would be more pain and headaches et cetera et cetera...

But my SO, being a typical egoistic husband man, of course wouldn't take advise from a smart beautiful  wife like me. And so he went on and voila! Lo and behold, he managed to secure one government tender to renovate and refurbish a new office branch, and he sweetly asked me to handle the project, and that I don't have to worry about funding the project, because he would make sure that the funds would be ready, and all I have to do was just to supervise and make sure that the project meet its deadline, and won the approval from the customer.

My first impression was like , What The Fu*K? I know nothing about interior design, couldn't even tell the mosaic from the ceiling (yep I could be a bimbo ignorant sometimes), but I took up his challenge, and I self taught myself on reading and understanding various drawings and floor plans designs, and meticulously studied all the aspects on my customer's specifications and requirements, and so we accepted the tender and signed the agreement with our customer.


And everything seemed to be in order, I met and chose sub contractors, made my promise that I would be paying their jobs as in progress method, meaning that I would pay them up front 40% of their total cost, and would pay them the balance once their jobs are completed etc etc....You know, the usual peddlers' stuff....



And then all hell broke lose when my SO couldn't fund the project, due to some unforeseen circumstances. He was already involved in some serious other projects and he couldn't allocate me the funds as he promised.And when I kept on pestering him about this project funds he cooly told me to simply terminate this project.

WHAT THE FU ???? How can we simply terminate this project when we had already signed the agreement? I asked him if he wants to join a whole lot of people who are being fed and sleep - in jail ? And what about those sub contractors that had probably ordered and paid for the products that I had promised I would buy from them ???? *yeah I am being a drama queen here, exaggerating and being almost hysterical to my dearest smart husband*


Well, upon hearing that, he reached for his car keys and went out.

And when he came back, he dumped me a few bundle of cash -about 25K, and told me to pay off whomever of my sub contractors who had foolishly paid for whatever I ordered.


Gaaaa!


Remember this scenes from the operas, when a gold-digger kind of slut lady who had trapped a billionaire with such parental trap, and upon hearing such news that he s going to be an out of wedlock daddy, the billionaire cooly handed the slut a big cash and told her,"Go and kill the baby!"


Yes, I am being dramatic again. But that's exactly how I feel.

The thing is, I had learned to love this project, and hell yes, to some extent I even think of this project as my own baby!


And how can I butcher my own flesh and blood?

So that night I couldn't sleep.

Deep down I knew that terminating the project is not an option. I can use the money to pay off the sub contractors, but the law would never leave us alone. And the law is unforgiving. We (my husband and I) were legally binded by the agreement, and to terminate such an agreement means that we would probably be inmates in jail....well I wonder if they would allow me to have my husband as cellmate, and would they allow us to decorate our cell with our comfy bed and pillows?


But the vision of us being in jail, and our kids visiting us on hari Raya chilled my spine, and I get up from my bed, reached for the stack of cash, and automatically, I knew what has to be done.


So the next day, after such a restless night, and after my smart and patient hubby went outstation for his own project, I made my move...

I went to see several of my sub contractors and gave them the money that my husband had given me. But I didn't tell them to terminate this project and that the deal is off.


Instead, I told them that that is all the money that I have in hand, but I would raise more to pay their 40% first payment, and I told them to start working.


Yep, that could be the wisest, boldest or the stupidest move that I had ever made in my entire life, and hell yes, I was totally scared of the decision that I had made.


But the dice had been cast, I had throw in my cards and so now.....


I am biting my fingers, wondering if I had made the right choice.

And I spent so many restless nights, worrying about money, worrying if I had made a good decision, worrying about my project - would I be able to satisfy my customer's need, (and I can reassure you that they are NOT easy to please!) and I also worry about meeting the customers, especially for the final inspection and site handover - I know that there would be some gungho kind of characters who would made my life a living hell ...worry, worry, worry....


It seemed now my life is in constant worry and stress....

*sigh*


But somehow, keeping this baby made me calm and collected, and I am glad to say that my baby is shaping up, despite some great storms in the beginning, and I hope that I would be able to complete this project, with flying colors and winning approval from my customer.


Here's how my 'baby' looked like about 3 months ago:-

            Before


And here's how my baby looks like...NOW :-


















And now that the end is near and the handover date is getting close, I am caught in a emotional storm, and then it hit me...right smack on my face...


My baby had grown up, had fully bloomed and ready to fly...and I am so glad that I had decided to keep this baby...



And then perhaps.....it's time to make other babies ?


Oh no....me and my treacherous and dangerous mind!

Breaking The Silence : I'm Addicted! HELP!!!!!!

Wow. It's been  more than two three months since my last update. Can't believe that I had stayed away from my own blog for that long...wowwiee! This is a record indeed!

And since then, Blogger had changed its features, and I was totally lost in the maze of new interfaces and whatnot....sigh...I had to fumble around, made a few wrong turns before I managed to click the right button n voila! yours truly is now at your service, and I will regale you with my tale of what made me celibate myself - well, not that I celibate from sex, but from blog writing that is....lol (oh yes this is a joke so please Laugh Out Loud! )


See, there's a good reason why I played truant from my own blog. This is supposed to be a secret, a very, very top secret but I can't hold back anymore. I would explode if I don't tell this for the whole world to know, and I am not ashamed of it. Oh yes, damn right, I won't hide in the closet anymore! I'll tell the whole wide world about my new found love.


Please brace yourself. What would come next might not be pretty. But to hell with it!

Sigh....OK I'll spill the beans....




 I'm now officially a zombie slayer.


Say that again ? Oui, you heard me right. I'm a zombie slayer, and that new tasks kept me away from blogging!

See, what kept me away from blogging for the past two months is that because I am addicted to the X-Box console, playing Plants Versus Zombies game!


Gaaaaaaa!!!!!



Are you shocked ?


Yeah, feels like a whopping 9.8 Richter scale earthquake, did it not?


But that's the truth.

I kept myself glued to my LCD TV and my X-Box console, too busy being a good zombie slayer and fending my lawn from zombie attacks.

   A usual setting for my lawn with zombies swarming in, in search for brains of course!


Which is really ironic, when I came to think more about my latest addiction. (yep, after two months of being a zombie slayer I finally come to my senses. Wheee-ho!). I used to scold and fester my 3 boys a lot for spending too much time on X-Box. But I got hooked to the X-Box after just 1 session of playing the game. It seemed like those zombies got me hooked. Lock, stock and barrel, so to speak.

And I played the game, religiously. Nope, kidding you, I am not! I send my kids to school, and on my way back home after sending them to their school, I got huge adrenaline rush just by thinking of long hours ahead, with me, the X-Box and the Plants vs Zombies games...hell yeah, what a delicious threesome indeed!

And seriously, I don't know why or how I got hooked to that game. I hated the modern X-Box games. You know, the kind that made you feel like it's the real thing, like you are`really holding a gun in your hands, and moving back and forth, turning left and right and ducking and dodging bullets that are flying all around you. I got motion sickness just by looking at my husband playing Call of Duty : The Black Ops, or whatever motion based games that he played.

It's nice of those zombies to drop me a note, warning me about their intention to attack on my lawn!

But nope, I don't have to worry about that with the zombies. It's kind of an old-school game, with some close resemblance to Super Mario Brothers (ah yes, I played those games too, wayyyyy back in my teens!). In Plants Versus Zombies games, the goal is simple. Zombies are invading your neighborhood, and will launch various attacks to enter your home and eat your brain. So you must do whatever it takes to protect your brain. Simple, right ?

So what are the weapons ? Go check the name of the game again. It's Plants Vs Zombies, so damn right, the plants are your weapons. I mean, how cool it would be to have sweet, lovely plants as your weapons? You can plant sweet green peas, snow peas, angry jalapenos etc etc, all firing bullets or bombs to those zombies. Talk about childish game ! Yeah, I think that I am revisiting my childhood again!


So what the hell am I doing here, sweating bullets infront of my laptop and updating my blog when I should be in front of my 40 inch LCD TV with the X-Box console on, guarding my lawn as well as brain from being eaten my those zombies ?


Well....for once, I am fully cured from my addiction. For the last few weeks days, I am finally able to start and end my days without drooling and salivating whenever my eyes caught the X-Box console. I am able to simply watch television with both of my arms and my 10 fingers resting nicely, instead of having my knuckles and my fingers rapidly twitching and fidgeting up and down (yep, picture me holding and craddling the X-Box joystick fro the  heavenly joyride to nowhere!). And yep, I am finally able have days with peace and quiet, without having to fight for X-Box time with my kids and husband ....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....pure bliss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeayyyyy !!!! After successfully guarding my lawn and defeating those zombies, I am rewarded with a cool video clip of zombies dancing together!




Sigh....



Such an addiction, and look at me now! All healthy and strong and able to break from that nasty addiction! Yeah I am such a living wonder,a woman of substance with such a strong willpower.....right ?????


Wrong.




Now if only that darn CD is not broken.....-yeah, I am able to break from the X Box because the Plants vs Zombie CD is finally broken after 3 long months of service...wish that the CD is not broken!!!!

*banging my head on the floor, crying out loud......

OK So Who Wants To See The Pics of Some NUDE Hot Chicks Please Raise Your Hands!

 OK that's fifty one, no, fifty two, no ninety nine, no...gazillion gazillion numbers to infinity!

Oyyy...what a response!


I could swear that my traffic counter is running frantically like there's no tomorrow there....and still counting!

Oh naughty, naughty you,

Shame on you!

If I am anywhere near you

I would be spanking you black and blue!

(gasp! and it RHYMES!!!!!! OhMyGod!)


What is it about nude chicks pictures that made men swoon and salivate, like they simply lost control of their exocrine glands (yep, that's the gland that control your saliva), and their heart beat wildly like they had been chased by one thousand demons?

 

Salivating Man

                                          Gray's Anatomy 101 : Our Salivary Glands

A Demon...no offense sir, but yours is the kind of face that I wouldn't wish to meet ! But the sight of you could really quicken my heartbeat. And the same thing happens whenever I looked at handsome men. Well I guess that makes you and all handsome men are equal then...





I mean, sheeesh! It's just a body, an anatomy for crying out loud!  What? Stay focused on my subject ? Oh.
Allright.





OK so here goes...the pictures that I had painstakingly snapped of my beautiful, naked hot chicks skinny dipping in their bath tub...

Angelina (Jolie) jumped into the tub, while Prince Henry looked at her longingly.

'Oohhhh this feels sooo good! Where's my rubber duckie ?', said Angie.

Angelina's clumsy exit out of the tub.

His Royal Highness Prince Henry's royal dunk, watched by Christina (Aguilera)

' Errr Your Highness, your time is up!', said Christina, not known for her patience.

                                               My Gorgeous Hot Chicks Having Bath


What ? Not satisfied ? You were thinking of other kinds of nude hot chicks ? The two legged kind?

Get out of here! 

I gotcha, didn't I ?????? hahahahahahahaha


OK cook me!

 

My Black Swans

Black Swan movie poster

Black Swan

Ever seen this movie ?

It's a psychological thriller flick about ballerinas and the emotional stress they had gone through in order to bring out the characters that they are playing. I loved the movie, especially since I really love Natalie Portman. In that movie, Portman played the role of a young ballerina who were so engrossed in the role that she is playing, that she slowly turned insane.

In it, Nina (Portman) played the parts of the innocent White swan and her sensual twin, the Black swan (yes, of course it's THE black swan). However, the more she got into her roles, the more obsessed she is, and then she started to have hallucinations and whatnot.


I particularly love the scene when Nina hallucinated that she is sprouting black feathers and black wings and then fully transformed into a black swan. And my, what a beautiful black swan she is!

Nina, fully transformed into a Black Swan




Which brings me to my own black swans. Oh did I say black swans ? Hell, no! I mean black ducks la. Where got swan one! Bluffing only meh...hahaha...


Anyway...

Remember these babies ?

My little ducks...a few months back


A few months ago I published an entry about them. Look at how small they are. They can fit in one small bucket. And gosh, they are sooooooooooooo cute and so small! Ops. Not are. Were. As in the past tense.


Now all 10 of them had grown up into adult ducks. And they are sooooooooooooo randy! Especially the four male ducks. And they are all black in colour. So I dubbed them, the All-Blacks gang. And I am not kidding about them being randy. They are as randy as a seventeen year old boy who had just encountered 'heaven on earth', so to speak. Or a seventy year old who wants to re-enter the 'heaven on earth' orbit - probably with a little help from Mr Viagra the little blue pill. Or Tongkat Ali. Or tiger's heart. Or whatever that works for them.



My point is, my All Blacks are soooooo rowdy and randy and soooo ever ready for some vertical kind of exercises, with the poor defenseless female ducks below them. Oyy!



I mean, I've seen how a poor defenseless female ran for her dear life (and probably chastity!) after she was being cornered by my blackies! And when she surrendered and one of the Blackie got on top of her, the other 3 hovered nearby. And when the Blackie on top of the poor lady duck took too much time, there is always one stupid Blackie who climbed on top of the other Blackie, making a delicious sandwich of 3 ducks. A threesome, oh yeah how exotic and kinky right ? Bzzzzzzz. Wrong.


The order of the sandwich is wrong. The poor female is the far at the bottom, and the other 2 randy Blackies are on top of each other. Well, probably a gay kind of threesome. Ho yeah! My own little Mardi Gras parade! How wonderful! And talk of Mardi Gras parade, yep, yours truly was there on Sydney Mardi Gras parade, back in the year 2001, and I vaguely recalled that there is some uncanny resemblance between my little duckies and those joining the parade. Hmmmm....interesting! But bear in mind that I was just watching the parade, NOT joining the parade OK! I'm straight as an arrow!




Anyway, since those 4 All-Blacks are getting sooooooo sexed up, I have no choice but to capture one of them, and turn him into a delicious rendang itek!



Hmmmmmm...which brings me to create my own philosophy...


DON'T GET TOO SEXED UP.
OR YOU'LL END UP AS SOMEONE'S RENDANG ITEK!



Good advise, isn't it? Might put an instant stop to those highly sexed up studs!


OK, I want to get back to my 3 randy All-Blacks studs and ducks fornication ohmygod, I am soooo don't have a life isn't it ???? Sigh...OK now I'm depressed...*sulking*...



I'm sooooo depressed...leave me alone!

Just let me crawl into my cave so that I can enjoy my depression...


A close up pic of me when I'm depressed. Yeah, I'm blonde and I'm white when I'm depressed. That's why I try very hard not to get depressed. You know, coz I really treasure my Asian heritage....(hahaha!)


Well ...till then, take care !

Enter The Sleeping Dragon : Blog Hibernation

A Dragon : A Mythical Creature... Pic from the Net

In the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight
Hush my darling don't fear my darling the lion sleeps tonight
Hush my darling don't fear my darling the lion sleeps tonight
Aa-eeeee---eeee--iii---a-wimbawe.....



Oh yes, I love that song, from the great animation movie, The Lion King...



Except that I'm not a lion, but a dragon...or a dragon-ness...whatever that means.


The thing is, I'm a sleeping dragon, hibernating into a deep, deep slumber, lazying myself into nothingness and feeling damn great about it.

Yep, that's exactly how I feel now.





It seems like the new year of the dragon had unleashed a lazy dragon in me. Well, at least for my blog. No, correction, I take that back.

ESPECIALLY for my blog.

Sigh....


I just don't know why but I suddenly lack the mojo to update my blog.

The truth is, I got nothing interesting to share. My life is boring, I'm a chauffeur/chef/nurse for the sicks/a teacher/tutor (especially during exams), a judge/a referee(yeah got lots of judge/referee duties), a house cleaner, a launderer bla bla bla the list goes on.

And yep, I am also a surrogate mom to 17 ducks, 6 birds and 6 quails.

Talk about being a busy dragon!


So that is why I am lacking the time to continuously update my blog.


Yeah rite!


The cold hard truth is, I am too damn lazy to sit in front of my cute little netbook and update my blog.




I might as well go back to my slumber and dream of fire breathing dragons....hmmmmm sounds intriguing!

I've Got Multiple "O", Wooohooo!!!!

Finally!


The big, multiple 'O', and it's mine! MINE! Gasp!


Oh yeah baybeeee!!!!




After years of secretly wondering if I would be able to achieve the infamous multiple 'O', this week I had eventually succeeded to taste the sweet, sweet victory of such prime achievement.


And there is only on word to sum up how I feel about that, and it's 'Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....' with pure contentment and deep, deep profound satisfaction.

Yeah baby, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......


Oh yes, it sure feel good!

It's like entering nirvana, so exquisitely satisfying and intensely pleasureable and sinfully addictive!

And I did it all, by myself ! Yep, I DIY to get the big O!

Isn't it great ?

Am I terrific or what ?

And let me tell you, it was not an easy task.



I had to spend hours and hours of my precious time to obtain the big 'O'. It took me countless frustrations and heartaches when my numerous attempts simply failed. I had many hiccups and breakdowns , many clenched, unsatisfied fists and many cries of despair over my failed attempts, but I persevered and overcame those hiccups and breakdowns, and yes, I was finally able to feel the deep, deep satisfaction of sweet, sweet victory.


And once I managed to master the tricks, there is no stopping me! I am insatiable and lustful, always wanting more and more, completely addicted to the great "O" acts. The very minute I though that I had completely sated, some new rush of adrenaline kicks in, and I found myself enslaved to such conducts. Addicted, intoxicated, completely lost...and I'm lovin' it! Yeah baybee!!!!


And I did it all, thanks to the step-by-step instructions, courtesy of the Internet.

Yep, I got my multiple 'O' by patiently and wholeheartedly studying the diagrams available on the Internet. Cool huh ? And to think that those writers also uploaded their step-by-step videos explaining how to achieve the big O, on YOUTUBE !


Hoyeahhhhh!!!!! Hail to the Internet, to the world wide web for making everything so possible!


And like a wet, hungry sponge, I soaked all the knowledge there is about getting the big O. It seems like there are many, many ways to achieve the great, big "O", and I tried everything that my lustful heart desired.


I tried the one about jumping froggy and got really excited.

I did the one about the handsome boat and I'm nearly drowned.

I reached for the stars and feel the earth move under my feet.

I did the one about boxes and felt so claustrophobic.

I fantasised about ninjas using shuriken stars as their secret weapon, and I nailed it.


And yep, I even managed to reach the big O by riding fire-breathing dragons and I almost cried in ecstasy, for the dragon is the one of the most trickiest acts in doing origami!



What ?

What the heck am I talking about ?

You think that I was babbling about the great big multiple "O" as in reaching multiple ORGASM ?

You think that I was reciting KamaSutra ?

Haha, so sorry to mislead you guys, but the great, multiple O that I was talking about is the art of making ORIGAMI lohhhhh!


Oh yes. I had been very very busy this week, I got myself glued to my tiny netbook and painstakingly followed such intricate and complicated steps in the arts of paper folding. And yep, you can expect that the air around me was foul with various and numerous swear words that came out of my irresistable, sexy sweet lips.

Well, I blame my boys for my newest hobby. They had forever been nagging me to do some origami for them, so last week I took the plunge, and boy, I was completely sold -lock, stock and barrel, so to speak.



A Jumping Frog (right), a sweet little boat (center) and a puffed up star (left).
Note : The star is not completely puffed up, and I blame the paper for that!





My Jumping Little Red Frog (yep, I painted the eyes and the dots on Froggy!), two Shuriken stars/ninja weapon in pink and light blue, and a sweet, sweet pink little boat.





Two Dragons, all to usher in the good year of the Dragon.
Note : Somehow, I secretly think that the dragons bore some slight resemblance to my darling duckies.

The air around me was blacker and fouler than usual when I I was in the progress of doing the dragons. You see, there are like 200 steps in making an origami dragon, and I was doing fine until step number 145, and realised that I had folded the paper the wrong way and had to start all over again! And yes I am exaggerating!


And talk about the dragons, well, here's wishing you all a


Happy and prosperous Chinese New Year!

Gong Xi Fa Chai!


Ok now I want to go back to my great big 'O'....