Living A Dream: A Life Full Of Testosterone

I've Got Multiple "O", Wooohooo!!!!

2012-01-18T11:48:00.010+08:00

Finally!

The big, multiple 'O', and it's mine! MINE! Gasp!

Oh yeah baybeeee!!!!

After years of secretly wondering if I would be able to achieve the infamous multiple 'O', this week I had eventually succeeded to taste the sweet, sweet victory of such prime achievement.

And there is only on word to sum up how I feel about that, and it's 'Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....' with pure contentment and deep, deep profound satisfaction.

Yeah baby, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

Oh yes, it sure feel good!

It's like entering nirvana, so exquisitely satisfying and intensely pleasureable and sinfully addictive!

And I did it all, by myself ! Yep, I DIY to get the big O!

Isn't it great ?

Am I terrific or what ?

And let me tell you, it was not an easy task.

I had to spend hours and hours of my precious time to obtain the big 'O'. It took me countless frustrations and heartaches when my numerous attempts simply failed. I had many hiccups and breakdowns , many clenched, unsatisfied fists and many cries of despair over my failed attempts, but I persevered and overcame those hiccups and breakdowns, and yes, I was finally able to feel the deep, deep satisfaction of sweet, sweet victory.

And once I managed to master the tricks, there is no stopping me! I am insatiable and lustful, always wanting more and more, completely addicted to the great "O" acts. The very minute I though that I had completely sated, some new rush of adrenaline kicks in, and I found myself enslaved to such conducts. Addicted, intoxicated, completely lost...and I'm lovin' it! Yeah baybee!!!!

And I did it all, thanks to the step-by-step instructions, courtesy of the Internet.

Yep, I got my multiple 'O' by patiently and wholeheartedly studying the diagrams available on the Internet. Cool huh ? And to think that those writers also uploaded their step-by-step videos explaining how to achieve the big O, on YOUTUBE !

Hoyeahhhhh!!!!! Hail to the Internet, to the world wide web for making everything so possible!

And like a wet, hungry sponge, I soaked all the knowledge there is about getting the big O. It seems like there are many, many ways to achieve the great, big "O", and I tried everything that my lustful heart desired.

I tried the one about jumping froggy and got really excited.

I did the one about the handsome boat and I'm nearly drowned.

I reached for the stars and feel the earth move under my feet.

I did the one about boxes and felt so claustrophobic.

I fantasised about ninjas using shuriken stars as their secret weapon, and I nailed it.

And yep, I even managed to reach the big O by riding fire-breathing dragons and I almost cried in ecstasy, for the dragon is the one of the most trickiest acts in doing origami!

What ?

What the heck am I talking about ?

You think that I was babbling about the great big multiple "O" as in reaching multiple ORGASM ?

You think that I was reciting KamaSutra ?

Haha, so sorry to mislead you guys, but the great, multiple O that I was talking about is the art of making ORIGAMI lohhhhh!

Oh yes. I had been very very busy this week, I got myself glued to my tiny netbook and painstakingly followed such intricate and complicated steps in the arts of paper folding. And yep, you can expect that the air around me was foul with various and numerous swear words that came out of my irresistable, sexy sweet lips.

Well, I blame my boys for my newest hobby. They had forever been nagging me to do some origami for them, so last week I took the plunge, and boy, I was completely sold -lock, stock and barrel, so to speak.

A Jumping Frog (right), a sweet little boat (center) and a puffed up star (left).
Note : The star is not completely puffed up, and I blame the paper for that!

My Jumping Little Red Frog (yep, I painted the eyes and the dots on Froggy!), two Shuriken stars/ninja weapon in pink and light blue, and a sweet, sweet pink little boat.

Two Dragons, all to usher in the good year of the Dragon.
Note : Somehow, I secretly think that the dragons bore some slight resemblance to my darling duckies.

The air around me was blacker and fouler than usual when I I was in the progress of doing the dragons. You see, there are like 200 steps in making an origami dragon, and I was doing fine until step number 145, and realised that I had folded the paper the wrong way and had to start all over again! And yes I am exaggerating!

And talk about the dragons, well, here's wishing you all a

Happy and prosperous Chinese New Year!

Gong Xi Fa Chai!

Ok now I want to go back to my great big 'O'....

My First Time...

2012-01-07T19:00:00.006+08:00

Ah, yes. The first time. The first time is always the most special one, right ? The one that you would never forget, the one that you would always cherish in your heart, and God help it, it's most probably the one memory that you would take to your grave.

The first time is always the most special one.

Rod Stewart said : The first cut is the deepest.

Diana Ross said : My first love, you're every breath that I take/ you're every step I made....

And Bruno Mars, bless his awesome voice and sexy-licous style, crooned :

I feel like dancing the night away. Feels like just yesterday we danced for the first time,
for the first time,
remember our first time, time, time, time, time, ta ta ta ta ta ta oooh. Let's let the music keep our bodies awake. Feels like im touching you right now for the first time,
for the first time, remember our first time,
time, time, time, time, ta ta ta ta ta ta oooh. I think i might explode, this tension is so cold. And all this fighting between us is really getting old. We need a magic touch, before it all blows up. We've both had enough, we've both had enough. So let's just get away, go to that special place. Where we first met and on the floor my feet were swept away. Baby it's worth a try, i beleive in you and i. Only takes just one night.. Before we both give in.. Don't let it end.. Let's form the love again. I feel like dancing the night away. Feels like just yesterday we danced for the first time,
for the first time, remember our first time,
time, time, time, time, ta ta ta ta ta ta oooh. Let's let the music keep our bodies awake. Feels like im touching you right now for the first time,
for the first tome, remember our first time, time, time, time, time, ta ta ta ta ta ta oooh. Before we both give in..
Don't let it end.. Let's form the love again. Oooh.. I feel like dancing the night away. Feels like just yesterday we danced for the first time,
for the first time, remember our first time,
time, time, time, time, ta ta ta ta ta ta oooh. Let's let the music keep our bodies awake. Feels like im touching you right now for the first time,
for the first time, remember our first time,
time, time, time, time, ta ta ta ta ta ta oooh.

The First Time/Bruno Mars

Wow, Isn't he awesome ? And I remembered my very own first time...sigh...

Ahhhh. I would never, ever forget the first time I did 'it'. I was nervous and bashful and scared, and didn't quite know what to expect of my first experience. And my brothers and sisters and friends and relatives kept on teasing me about the first experience that I would encounter, and those teasings made me even more frightful.

I remembered that I kept on thinking. Would I enjoy my first experience ? Would it hurt ? Would it give me pleasure ? Or pain ? Would I be brave ? Or would I shy down and flee in shame ? Would I like it ? Would I hate it ? Would I enjoy it so much that I want to do it again and again and again ? Or would I hate it so much that I would turn away, never to do it again ?

Ah. So many questions, but I got no answer. I asked 10 people, but they gave me 10 different answers, all conflicting with one another, and making me even more confused.

So I got no choice, but to take a deep breath, and face the unknown.

On the day before I had my 'first experience', I felt quite ill. I remembered feeling nauseous and vulnerable. It felt like there were hundreds of butterflies were doing some serious party inside my stomach. And I remembered getting cold feet and yep, I did seriously considered running away from home, just so I can escape from facing my 'first experience'. But there is no escape. All roads lead to Rome, and I simply had to face the inevitable, and go to Rome, so to speak.

And on the day itself, I was a total nervous wreck. I tried to stay calm, but deep inside I was torn with multiple emotions. I was shy, yet I want 'it' so badly. I was nervous, yet I want to enjoy having my 'first time'. I don't want to sound too eager, but I know that I would want to do 'it' over and over and over again, unashamedly...

And so I did....

I really enjoyed my first time.

It was soooooo beautiful, just as I imagined it to be.

And I was brave and courageous and I really enjoyed having my first experience.

And hell, yes yes yes!!!! I want to do 'it' over and over again!!!!!

Sigh...

Yes, my first experience at school was soooooo beautiful.

What, pardon me ? You think I was talking about what ?

Shame on you !!!!! hahaha

Anyway, this entry is dedicated to all first timers at school, regardless they are in playschool, kindergarten or primary school or even college or university, or whatever. You guys rock, and I hope that you would enjoy your first time, just like I enjoyed mine.

And in my own kingdom of heaven, I got 2 first timers at school. My Ultraman #2, who is going for his primary school, entering standard 1 of a national primary school, and my Ultraman #3, who is on entering kindergarten.

With my hubby is often away due to his work, you can guarantee that my mornings are always a pure mayhem and madness and chaos, and that indeed, is another of my beautiful 'first time experience'...yeah, keep on rockin bebeh!

My 3 Ultramen, about to embark on a lifelong journey of their life...

Ultraman #3, who is looking like he is going to puke, just outside his kindergarten.

My boys at recess.

The End Is Near : Panic Time!

2011-12-29T22:48:00.006+08:00

Oh yeah.

The end is soooooo very, very near for 2011. 2012 will rear its face in just 2 days away, and suddenly I felt so overwhelmed with all the things that had happened and didn't happen in 2011.

And yep, it's time to make fresh resolutions again. But seriously, I forgot what was my resolution for 2011. Haiyya, so terrible kan ? But what do you expect from a mother to 4 very very active and sturdy young boys, who is also a surrogate mother to 8 adult ducks, 10 ducklings, and enough caged birds to replace the infamous Angry Bird character ?

Gaaaaaaaaaaa.

2012 is just two days away, and I still don't have any resolution. Time to hit that panic button!!!

I must prepare some very plausible resolution for 2012 so that when people ask me about my new year resolution I can look so sophisticated and tell them all the nonsense that will be sure to make their eyes cross and brain nerves swooning like mad so in the end they wouldn't understand a thing about my new year resolution. Ergo, if they don't understand my resolution how can they smirk at me if I don't achieve my new year resolution, right ? You are scratching your head while reading this, so I know that I am halfway thru. Yes!

Wait. Did I mention Angry Birds before this ? Yes ? Uh-oh, some light bulb is flashing like mad in my brain. Some sort of storm is brewing inside my brain cells, interconnecting all the neurons with some sort of logical and plausible reasoning. Urgh.

Angry Birds app logo. Pic from Net

This is one of the most famous n fast growing game, ever! But I never play the game. Reason being : I don't own any Apple product. :(

Say that again ?

That very last sentence in particular.

And Bingo!

Now you have it.

Mental Note : Must put having an Apple product as one of my 2012 resolution.
Yep IPhone 4S, come to Mommy!!!!

Of course, by the time I own an Iphone 4S, Apple had probably come out with Iphone 11S, or whatever, but at least for the time being I can relax and exhale because I already have a resolution, no matter how short or lame my resolution is!

Happy New Year, people! Have a great year ahead!

Burying A Queen of Heart

2011-12-21T19:03:00.008+08:00

Today I buried my very first dead creature, and it was not a beautiful experience.

It was a rainy day. I wished that I could just snuggle in front my 40 inch LCD, watching a bunch of cute Korean boys flaunting their good stuffs while singing to some mindless but catchy tunes, but I can't delay the inevitable any longer. I've got to do it.

Now! Pronto! Sekarang!

So with a heavy heart, I grabbed a shovel and made my way towards a quiet, secluded place at the back of my lawn. It was dead quiet except for the soft sounds of the rain hitting the soft grounds underneath my feet.

My heart was thudding wildly. Can I pull this act ? Do I have the guts to do the deed ? Would I have enough strength to dig the earth beneath me? And an even bigger question, would I be able to lift my 'victim' and bury her underground ?

Argh. Too many questions. Too many regrets.

And I got tears rolling on my cheeks when I remembered that SHE is gone.

I regret it that she died. I loved her. But she died. And I need to bury her.

And more and more big, fat tears came rolling down my cheeks. Outside, the rain keeps on falling, matching my dark, sinister mood. Inside, I felt like a world class murderer, trying to cover up her first kill.

Maybe a female version of Ted Bundy. Or Kane. Or was it Abel ?

Argh. Doesn't matter.

She's gone, and I've got to bury the dead. No prejudice. And I took a deep, cleansing breath, and fought back the new wave of tears that threaten to come down again.

So I grabbed the shovel, and started digging. I dug and dug and dug till my arms ached, and I gasped out of breath from exhaustion. The pit in front of me should be sufficient for her great, beautiful body. That would be perfect to lay her down to rest.

And so I reached for her, and ever so gently, I lifted her lifeless little body and put her down in the pit. I almost cried again when I saw her.

Oh Cleopatra, why did you die ?

Woke up today, and found out that my Cleopatra is dead.
COD : Unknown

My sweet Cleopatra in her final resting place. RIP, Cleo...

Yep. Cleopatra - my lovely duck had died mysteriously, and since my hubby is away on a business trip, I got the honor (or horror?) to bury her.

Oh I really loved her.

She was so beautiful, majestic and regal. A true queen material. Hence the name Cleopatra, after one of the greatest queen in the ancient time, the time of the pharaohs.

Oh Cleo, I will miss you.

RIP, my little queen.

Road to Recovery : The X-Box vs Florence Nightingale

2011-12-13T11:54:00.008+08:00

Sigh...

It's day four after the big C for my boys, and they are slowly recovering...

Day One was the worst, they cried right after the procedure once the anesthetics wore off, and I mean they really, really cried! Imagine two little banshees crying on a broad daylight, and you'll get the picture. And because there were two of them crying, there are moments that I feel like suddenly I had gave birth to twins! Two very very big twin baby boys!!!! Sigh...

But I had to be strong for them. I had to reassure them that everything will be allright, and that they would be up, kicking and running again real soon. But the truth is, I was really really scared!

I mean, I have no little brothers, so I have no idea what a circumcision is all about. What I have was some hazy memories of my older brothers' (8 years my senior) experience when they had their own C. But that was a very very long, long time ago, and I was probably 3 or 4 years when my brothers entered the manhood ceremonies.

I remembered my brothers walking nervously, with both of their legs spread wide apart, holding tight to a pelikat sarong pulled AWAY from their little angry, wounded 'birds', and my brothers would shoo me away like I have some evil power whenever I came near them. And then I remembered how my parents hung a long rope from the ceiling, and at the end of the rope, they tied a makeshift little tent made from kain sarong pelikat, so that whenever my brothers lied down on their backs, the little clothes wouldn't come in touch with my brothers' angry birds, so to speak.

And then I remembered the pantang makan, or foods that are totally banned for a few days after the C ritual. Foods like crabs, squids, prawns and all other seafood are a big NO-NO, for fear that those foods would induce great itch and swell to that little birdies. Others on the No lists are eggs, chicken, nuts etc etc...Well, in short, those poor boys can only eat selected fish like tenggiri/mackarel, ikan merah/red snapper and a few other fish that would not induce such a great itch.

And so, armed with that little piece of information and some hazy memories, I tumbled head down into the maze of the big C.

But surprisingly, it was not such a bad experience at all...and all credits should go to the magic of X-Box and the games of Dynasty Warrior, Call of Duty : World at War and good old Spongebob Squarepants games.

And I noticed how the pain magically disappear in the broad daylight, when the games are running in full swing, be it they are playing as Cao Cao battling against Liu Bei or Lu Bu in Dynasty Warrior, or when my boys morphed to be a sniper, hitting at German soldiers in World at War game, or when they are Spongebob Squarepants or Patrick Star hunting for crabby patties or whatever. But the bottom line is, there is no pain in the day.

It's the night that the pain mysteriously come again. Specifically, a few moments at dusk when I ordered them to stop playing X-Box. More specifically, it's the very moment when I sternly turned off the switch on the wall -when my repeated pleas for them to stop playing just went unheard.

And so, the nights pass so slowly. Every few moments they will moan and whimper about the pains. And the moaning and the whimpering will last for the whole night. All night long. And I magically switched into Florence Nightingale. Sigh...

But hey, once the morning comes, the pain would go away, especially when I turn on the X-Box switch. Hurray!!!!!

Happy, bright faces in daytime

The Dynasty Warrior in full swing
Surprisingly,my boys seem knew Cao Cao, Lu Bu, Liu Bei etc etc more than they knew Hang Tuah...sigh...oh my god...that is sooooo unpatriotic, so not 1Malaysia-lah....could someone please invent a game about Hang Tuah brothers ???? Like, seriously ?

My Boys' Journey Towards Manhood

2011-12-11T17:19:00.006+08:00

Oh I got tears in my eyes while writing this entry.

Nope, smoke didn't get in my eyes.

And nope, not because I got eye infection too.

But because....

Because today, my two boys had taken the very first steps towards manhood.

Yep, both of them already POTONG!!!!

Yeah I know that in my last entry both boys escaped the ritual because our family doctor would like to wait for the boys to grow up a bit older before doing the big C (as in circumcision ritual), but my hubby just couldn't wait that long. I don't know what's the big rush, but he really insisted that the boys should POTONG now. And so they did.

Today.

Hubby made an appointment with a practising doctor, who made the house visit and voila! my boys had their birds snipped. Just like that.

And my boys didn't even cry. Not even one tiny teeny weeny bits of tears were shed during the ritual. COOL BOYS!!!!

Well, they did cry like a banshee once the local anesthetics wore off, but by that time it doesn't matter anymore.

My husband had to install a big 32 inch LCD TV and a brand new X-Box console in their bedroom, and voila! Just like that, my boys forgotten the fact that their lower region is wounded.

Tsk, tsk.

Pic taken just right after the snippet...the boys were constantly moaning about the pain...sigh...

Taa-da! just after these gadgets were installed in their bedroom, somehow my boys forgot about their pains...Magic!

And yep, this also proves that we are all not rabbits!!!!

No fear bebeh!

Sudah Potong ? Have You Cut It??? Just Do It!

2011-12-05T22:28:00.010+08:00

Well, don't you just love the above ads ? It's actually about cutting one's existing broadband/internet connection and migrating to P1 Wimax's supposedly superior network.

But the innuendos about CUT or POTONG as the actors and actresses were repeatingly utter over and over again in the ads are very very loud and clear.

If you are a Malay or a Muslim, or a Chinese/Indian living in Malaysia, the word POTONG could be very very scary. Particularly if you are of a MALE sex. Especially, if you are a schoolboy. And very very specifically, if you are a boy and you are in the midst of a long, long school holidays.

Here's some example. Utter the word POTONG to an eight year old boy who is just enjoying his school holidays, and you can see his face turn blue. And he would start to shake and sweat, and he would eventually plead and perhaps even tried to bribe his way out, to avoid that POTONG ceremony. Depending on how well you negotiate, you might even win yourself a lifetime slave, just so that the little helpless little boy could escape the dreaded POTONG thingy. Awww....so cute !

Heck. You can even try to mutter the word POTONG to a full, grown up MALE adult, and you could see how they trembled with fear, of a memory long, long forgotten. One that they wished that would never, never encounter again, ever! And in some extreme cases, you could swear that the men would bit his lips and cry a bit. Awwww...so cute!

Yup, I'm talking about CUT, or POTONG as in circumcision. You know, when the male surrendered his most precious body parts to a good, sharp knife, and hoped that he would live to tell the great adventure.

Yeah, yeah it was painful.

Yeah, yeah it was scary.

Yawn....Zzzzzzzz...

Bo-ring!

Oh yes, men are such softies when it comes to pain. They are soft inside, beneath their titanic exteriors. Inside their great lion-like exteriors, they are just soft, cuddly rabbits.

And I happen to have 4 rabbits in my household. (5, counting a great big rabbit disguised as a great big American Grizzly bear!..Geez I'm crossing my fingers that HE wouldn't read this haha).

A cute, cuddly wabbit... Pic from net

So it's school hols, and at the ripe age of EIGHT and SIX, my husband decided that his boys should be ushered (forced, more likely!) into manhood. You know, entering the big boys' club. And my boys are happy. About entering the brotherhood of men, that is. When I sweetly told them about the 'fees' that they had to pay in order to join the fraternity, they started to whine and plea and eventually, they cried.

Oh my soft, cuddly rabbits.

And then they bombarded me with questions.

What ? Why ? How ? How much to cut? When ? Is it painful? How painful ? Would we die? What if the doctor cuts it all? Again, how is it done? Must we do it ? But why ? Can I escape that ? Is it painful ? Did you do it, Mama, when you were a little girl ? Why the hell not ? It's not fair!!!! If you never do it, how do you know it is not painful ? Are you lying to us ?

Yata yata yata....

And then they keep on repeating the same questions over and over again.

Sigh.

At first,I answered their questions patiently. And I took my time to explain to them, in great details about why they need to do it. They got the part about why and the logic of doing 'it'.

It's the pain part that they couldn't understand.

And then when they keep on bombarding me with the same questions over and over again, and that's when I morphed.

I sweetly told them :-

Yep, it could be painful. But you would be given some shots and some medicine to ease the pain. And you would live to tell the tales to your children, and God help it, you would force your sons to go through the same horrific experience, just like your father are gleefully doing to you now.

How painful is it ? They pressed on.

And this is where I really morphed into a witch.

I told them of my own birth experience. Yup, all 4 deliveries.

Correction.

All 4 normal deliveries MINUS epidural or any painkillers to ease the pain.

And that, my friends, really shut them up.

Oh probably they are still traumatic of hearing such details, my poor darlings!

But here's the catch.

My boys managed to postpone the ritual, at least for this year, probably. The doctor said that both of them are too small to be ushered into the big boys' club, perhaps next year would be right!

Being a great, big rabbit myself, I couldn't be more relieved to hear such news!

Yippieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Me : An Fluffy, fuzzy Angora wabbiittttt

My Twitters

2011-11-27T17:20:00.001+08:00

Twitters.

From Wikipedia:

Twitter is an online social networking and microblogging service that enables its users to send and read text-based posts of up to 140 characters, informally known as "tweets".

Twitter was created in March 2006 by Jac k Dorsey and launched that July. Twitter rapidly gained worldwide popularity, with over 300 million users as of 2011,^[6] generating over 300 million tweets and handling over 1.6 billion search queries per day.^[3]^[8]^[9] It is sometimes described as "the SMS of the Internet."^[10]

It is also the 'IN' thing now. Many celebrities joined Twitter and 'tweeted' their activities there. Cool.

I have a Twitter account, but I rarely ever log into that account. And I have yet to send in my very first 'TWEET', whatever that means. Maybe I'm a shy, exotic kind of bird. And so I don't tweet. Or maybe some big, mangy cat has gotten my Tweety bird's tongue and so I can't tweet anymore!

So you can say that I'm a virgin when it come to Tweeter. Yeah right!!!!

The truth is, I don't know how to tweet, or what to tweet on Twitter. And I don't know 'who' to follow on the Tweeter. I don't really understand how the Twitter works. For record, at the moment I am following Dato Siti Norhaliza's tweets, and believe it or not, I also followed His Royal Highness The Crown Prince of Johore's tweets.

Don't ask me why am I following a celebrity and a royal blue blood on the Tweeter. I just don't know, and when Tweeter was kind enough to suggest that I followed those two people, I just clicked yes, thank you very much, and voila! I am their faithful followers.

But overall, I think that Twitter is a cool social network.

But I have another kind if Twitter networks, and these guys are really awesome!

Here are my ALIVE Twitters :-

Merbuk, anyone ????
Yep they are fat, but boy, these fatsos can really sing!

A blue Lovebird/Kenari Biru.
I got one pair of Kenari, their names are Blue and another one is called Green.
*If you look closely, you'll notice that Green is hiding behind Blue. See the tips of Green near Blue's tail there ?*

My precious Serindit (right), and Green the Kenari (left). Another Serindit escaped my camera.
And I'm green with jealousy for their beauties.

The last of my Twitter : My quails family. There are 7 of them altogether.
Their eggs are yummy!

OK now I know what to tweet on my tweeter already! Perhaps I would tweet the pictures of my gorgeous birdies, and who knows if the HRH The Crown Prince would buy those twitters, for thousand and thousand of ringgits, maybe ? Oh Gosh my eyeballs are sooo full of the $$$ signs right now so I need to stop at this.

Bye!

Wait.

Anybody knows if the Sultan of Brunei is on the Twitter ? Or Facebook ??????
mmmm....he is soooooooo yummy looking!

Man, I Want To Be Your Ball !!!!Oh Baby Please...

2011-11-22T01:10:00.004+08:00

Oh yes.

Ball as in singular one ball, or plural, as in many, many balls (errr two to be specific ?).

And I only wanted to be his ball. I watched how he performed tonight, and that awaken such a great longing in me. I wish I could be his (ball).

Yep. I'm talking about plain old ball lah. Not the other kind of balls often associated with males' lower anatomy. Gaaaa!!!

OK it's 1 am in the morning and I still can't sleep, still feeling the euphoria of a very very good, dangerous football game tonight.

Malaysia versus Indonesia, final match for SEA Games 2011, Palembang, Indonesia.

And there is one particular guy among 22 men that played tonight, and I wish that I could be his ball.

This is the HIM that I am talking about.

Khairul Fahmi Che Mat,
I wish that I could swap places with that yellow, spherical object laying close to his heart.
Old pic, from the Net.

KF : Come on you hot Momma, come to papa!!!
Me on the ball : Oh yes baby, I'm gonna fall straight into your arms!!!
*Old pic from The Net, couldn't find the pics for tonight's game*

It was a very, very dangerous and sexy game tonight, so many attempts from both sides to score goals and secure the gold medal for football, but damn...KFCM (that's Khairul Fahmi Che Mat in case if you don't know) brought out the sexiness in the game each time he saved Malaysia's goal turf.

I mean, you really got to see how he gently leaped on the air, swiftly caught the ball, and then...he just hold the ball in his arms...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...now that's what I call a perfect gentleman....

And he did it so many times, over and over again, defending Malaysia's turf. Geez. Is he a machine or what ?

End result, after a tie 1-1 with Indonesian team, they were forced to play extra time which produce no yields for both teams, so they were forced to play penalty.

And Malaysian Tigers kicked the great big Garuda bird when the boys scored 5 goals againts 4 Indonesian.

Oh yes yes yes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talk about climax hahahaha

OK gotta to rest after such a great game.

CONGRATULATIONS HARIMAU MALAYA !!!!!!

and congratulations too, for the Indonesian team, it was such a great, dangerous, sexy, sexy game, well done boys!

Love you boys, especially you, KFCM!
gosh if only I were 10 years younger...sigh...
*hope that my hubby doesn't read this, hence the smales font I can find...crossing my fingers tightly haha*

Hot Chicks !!!!!!

2011-11-10T11:10:00.005+08:00

Oh wow it looks like I am surrounded by hot chicks nowadays. They are everywhere, invading my household with their scantily clad bodies, and making loud, ear splitting noises and just being happy.

Yes, happy.

And their happiness, as proved by their endless songs, are contagious. And somehow, they reminded me of the flower child lifestyle, of the American 60s era. You know, it was the cool era when everybody wears cool outfit and an even cool hairdos. They got the great looks and the great no-nonsense attitude. Talk about panache!

A flower child of the 60s...pic from The Net

Yup, I wasn't even born when those young people declared to only make love, not war, but I had always been intrigued by them happy peeps.I mean how could you not be intrigued by a group of young, beautiful people who promotes only love and peace on earth and were stoned to their eyeballs most of the times ?

Oh my God. What the hell am I rambling about ? Had I gone bonkers ?

Great.

All those mixing and mingling around with those hot chicks had probably altered my brain and my personality.

But those hot chicks are really, really smokin hot and cute like hell!

Oh dear oh dear.

There I go again, mixing metaphors and using terms like smokin hot chicks and cute like hell in one sentence.

Grrrrrr....

And I blame these hot chicks for my temporary brain freeze.

Taaraaa : My hot chicks in a baldi, fresh from the farm!

Yep. Angelina and Cleopatra, my 2 lovely mommy ducks who had patiently sit on their eggs for the past 6 weeks (thus escaping the sex overdose deaths) had finally proved their worths.

13 chicks came out as a result of their rampant sexual activities with my studs.

Hurrayyyyy!!!!

A special pose from a hot chick. Isn't she gorgeous ???

My Ultraman #4 and a hot chick. Here's the dialogue, probably:-
Ultraman #4 : Hello rubber duckie, you're lookin' good! Can I eat you ? Pweeseee???
Hot Chick : Kiss my a$$!!!!!

Oh wow. And I never thought that I would be sooooo happy to watch those chicks came out. It is sooooo unreal, so out of this world and sooooo unbelievable!

Thank you Angelina (as in Jolie) for giving us 10 best looking baby ducks, ever! (Now you know why I named her Angelina right, as in the real life Ms Jolie with her 6 kids! haha)

And thank you Cleopatra, your 3 baby chicks are equally beautiful too!

So..... Angelina and Cleopatra, after both of your 'confinement' period are over, go back to your hedonism activties and bring me more and more beautiful hot chicks OK!

BHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!
*evil, greedy queen laugh*

Oh dear, I had grown into a greedy monster!

Cause of Death : Sex Overdosed...Too Much Sex Will Kill Ya!!!!

2011-11-03T10:22:00.004+08:00

Oh yes. Sex.

It the one of the 3 most powerful word in the vocabulary. The other two are money and power. You might craze for either one of the 3 causes, or you might craze for two causes, it's natural-lah, we are humans after all. But if you are crazy for all 3 causes, well, you will probably rise to be the top leader of the world and rule your own kingdom, or perhaps you might rule your own little underworld kingdom, way back from your tiny little coffin, six feet underground. Tsk, tsk.

People went to war, divide the continents, split their countries, cursed each other and even died for either one of the 3 causes.

Die.

And that's precisely what had happened to my lovely Britney and Michelle. They had died.

COD : Sex overdose.

Yup, yup, yup.

Both Britney and Michelle died because of sex overdose. All my studs were crazy humping all the females, like 100 times in a day, and in one of their senseless hedonism sessions, Britney and Michelle had sustained some kind of injuries on their bodies, which led them to their tragic deaths.

Oh wow, doesn't it sounds cool, you know, like some famous rock star's death ? You know, when they had too much booze and drugs and sex, and then they died, probably naked in some sleazy hotel room ? Yes I'm reading too much Jackie Collin's raunchy novels so that's why my imaginations were running sky high...

But anyway, I'm not kidding about my male ducks' big appetite on sex.

It seems like my studs were all sex maniacs, like they were programmed to be some kind of a great sex machine. All they do all day is just eat, poop, and chase all the females. And sometimes they even skip the eating/pooping part, and cut right straight to the chasing skirts part, so to speak.

Wah-lau, those male ducks are really maniacs! Somebody should put a picture of my male ducks beside the word aphrodisiac in the vocabulary. Maybe I should, I'd start off with Wikipedia and spread the words around...

And to think that all the male humans were talking about tiger's heart la, lion's heart la, goat's genitals la, tongkat ali la, civet cats la, etc etc which were all whispered to be a great sex booster, aiyyaaaa !!! While all this while, the very creature that eat, drink and breathe sex is just some domestic animals! What, you don't believe me ?

Here's my logic. A male tiger will only 'do it' when both he and the female tiger are in mating season. And there are lots and and lots of complicated things to do before a male tiger is allowed to go near the female tiger. It's difficult, complicated, and after they had successfully sired some kind of heir apparent, that's it, the male tiger is no longer needed. So of you go, sucker!!!!

But on the other hand, my ducks were doing it like 100 times in a day, and they don't even need any invitation or RVSP from the females. It's plain old slam, bam and thank-you-Mam!!!! (geez, sometimes they even skipped the thank you part, ungrateful b@sta@rds!)

So who gets it more ? Tiger or duck ?

Ting!

Yes I can see that bulb light in your heads now LOL!

Congratulations for seeing my kind of logic.

And come to think of it, what's the difference between my sex crazed ducks and male humans after all ?

Hohoho....

Think that I had ruffled some human males feather there....whoops...

so ....

run Razzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn !!!!

could this be me, running for my life ???
pic from the Net

Pigs in Yellow Polka Dot Bikinis, Rancangan Tergendala Sebentar

2011-10-22T16:36:00.000+08:00

Yeah.

Been meaning to update my blog, I've got loads and loads of ideas that I'm dying to pour into my blog, but I got sidetracked my some very important events.

See, the Prime Minister of Malaysia and the First Lady of Malaysia (that's FLOM, if you don't know), decided to launch some very important campaign in Malaysia, and they had chosen me to be the think tank of the campaign. It's a very hush-hush big project with millions and millions of money involved, and I was chosen because of my vast knowledge and intelligence, and most importantly, they had chosen me for my good looks and great hospitality.

Impressive, huh ?

Yeah, rite.

And pigs fly to the moon wearing yellow polka dot bikinis and still look stunning in those bikinis!

A flying pig...minus the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini...

Well, the cold hard truth was....both of my boys had their final year examinations last 2 weeks, and being a very competitive and concerned Mom (read : Kiasu Mom leh), I morphed myself into a very very kind, patient and beautiful teacher (imagine : Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds).

Michelle Pfeiffer...
one of my ex boyfriend said that I bore some resemblance to Ms Pfeiffer...yeah I know he's lying (or blind and dumb), but needless to say that, that particular guy will always be the president in my Ex-boyfriends club.

Well, anyway....

Do you know how tough it is to be a 8 year old student in Malaysia ? Aiyya...so crazy...my standard two boy had to take 10 subjects...yep...10 subjects ranging from Bahasa Malaysia paper 1 and 2, English, Mathematics, Science, Visual Arts, Agama Islam, Bahasa Arab, Music and Physical Exercise papers! Yep, Physical Exercise as in plain old PE!

Ad the PE paper is really a killer paper. Imagine questions like :

'Penyakit kardiovaskular ialah sejenis penyakit yang berkaitan dengan:-

A. Hati
B. Buah Pinggang
C. Jantung
D. Pankreas'

OhMyGod! I bet the majority of 8 year olds couldn't even spell or pronounce kardiovaskular let alone know head or tails about it!

I am not one of those parents who asked their offsprings to eat, drink and breathe the textbooks and the workbooks, or forced their children to study 25 hours a day, but I also don't want my boys to be left behind in this age when kids are getting smarter and smarter these days (yep, I bet there many 8 year olds who knows what's cardiovascular and where the heck is the medula oblangata), so that was why I became the sexy Ms Pfeiffer....and re-learned all about standard two and kindergarten syllabus...sigh....

But after one week of silence, I am finally able to spread my well manicured wings and free to roam the vast spectrum of the Internet world.

Hurray !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9 Beautiful Ladies In My Household, and I'm Not Even Jealous of Them!

2011-10-03T17:11:00.008+08:00

'True.

There are nine great beautiful ladies living under my roof and I am not jealous nor envious nor threatened by their presence.

Yep.

Not even an ounce, not even an iota and definitely not even one tiny teeny weeny drop of jealousy or envy that I harbor to those beautiful ladies.

Russia beauty pageant contest, pic from the net

Those nine beauties are so drop dead gorgeous, and they are not at all ashamed to flaunt their assets, out in the open. Well I guess that they are just firm believers in the great saying,

IF YOU GOT IT, FLAUNT IT!

Modesty is not part of their game, and they dared to lie there naked sunbathing in the sun, or skinny dipping in the shallow pond at the far end of my backyard, or frolicking under the warm sun, and I still don't feel troubled by their behaviors.

And I even let my husband go around them, sweet talk to them and even caress their beautiful and gorgeous bodies! And I sometimes even joined my husband and we have an orgy together, watching the nine beauties baring all their assets. Yep, togetherness is the name of the game for me and hubby dearest, and we don't feel kinky at all!

Shocking ?

You haven't hear the worse.

Together with the nine great beauties, we also have 4 handsome hunks in our household. And we encouraged those ladies to befriend the 4 hunks, and even encouraged the friendship to blossom into romance, and we (both my husband and yours truly) shamelessly peeped at how the beauties and the hunks conduct their romance.

Yes, my husband and I shamelessly watched how Britney, Cleopatra, Christina, Michelle, Siti, Diana, Aishwarya, Xi Yi and Nicole conduct their sexual acts with Tom, Brad, Johnny and Keanu.

Revolting, huh ?

Feel disgusted enough ?

What, are my husband and I had somehow morphed into a pair of peeping toms ?

Could this be me, peeping for the 4 handsome hunks?
-pic from the Net-

Is this my hubby pretending to read the paper but peeping at the sexy lady instead?
-Pic from the Net-

Feel free to vomit, but you haven't read the worst.

Sigh...

I must say this out loud that both I and my husband dearest sometimes even took a great pleasure to watch the sexual conducts done by the nine beauties and the 4 hunks! Yeah, talk about kinkiness at the highest level!

And we didn't stop at that.

We even took the eggs that came out of their affairs, and eat those eggs!

Gasp!

Wait, did I say eggs ?

As in this ?

Eggs and eggs galore. Those are ducks eggs, in case if you don't know.
Picture from my own humble collection.

Yep.

These are the nine great beauties and the 4 handsome studs that I was talking about.

My lovely ducks had finally learned and mastered the sexual education lessons, and had finally lay eggs. Hurray!!!!!

Congratulations to my beautiful ladies : Britney (Spears), Cleopatra, Christina (Aguilera), Michelle (Pfeiffer), Siti (Norhaliza), (Lady) Diana, Aishwarya (Rai), (Zhang) Xi Yi and Nicole (Kidman).

And kudos as well to the studs : Tom (Cruise), Brad (Pitt), Johnny (Depp) and Keanu Reeves).

With such good celebs names, I wonder how their babies would look like. Hmmmm...

OK, I'm off for another peeping sessions, tata guys, and thanks for dropping by!

Saturday Night Fever, Resident Evil : AfterLife, Last Man Standing

2011-09-28T16:59:00.000+08:00

What, did I have a movie marathon week ?

Nope.

So, did I enter some sort of a quiz that involves all 3 movies in my answer`?

Nay.

Or, am I writing a new book, based entirely from all 3 movies ?

Wrong !

The entry above (Saturday Night Fever, Resident Evil In The House and Last Man Standing) pretty much sums up the reason why I was unable to stay on the Net last week.

Episode One : Saturday Night Fever

Ahh...who could ever forget this movie and the soundtracks of the movie, that had brought the new meaning and changed the music landscape of the 70s ?

And who vould ever forget Mr Travolta, with his gyrating and swaying hips moves that had made girls gone crazy ?

If my doctor is this yummy looking, I don't mind having a fever!

Episode Two : The Resident Evil : AFterlife

Mila Jovovich, such a beautiful leading character in The Resident Evil: The Afterlife, kickin some bad ass zombies in that movie. Cool !!!!! And she is really stunning!

Bad-ass zombie like creatures in that movie. Gosh how I hate their ugly faces !

Mila and co-star Ali Larter, boy, they really kick some a$$ !!! Girl power to da max!

Episode Three : Last Man Standing

My fave scene in Last Man Standing. Bruce Willis is so howwwtttt!!!!

OK. So what does those movies got anything to do with my absence from blogging ?

Well, here's what happened...

There was a Saturday Night Fever episode in my household last week. But nope, it was not tke kind of fever that John Travolta had started when he pointed his index finger up towards the sky, gyrated his cute butts and danced to the tune of Staying Alive, ah ah ah ah Staying Alive, staying alive! (oh yes, this really brings back the dance floor memories!)...

It was another kind of fever.

The real McCoy kind of fever, the one that started when my MIL vomitted non stop at 3 a.m. in the morning, and had to make a few mad dash to the toilet afterwards. She was really weak after the non-stop purging sessions, and then my FIL was also infected with the same spell. We brouht both my MIL and FIL to the clinic, and they got their meds, so I thought that all would be OK. I should have expected that the whole household would be infected, but nahhh, I didn't see it coming.

So all hell break loose when my youngest prince caught the same disease by early Monday morning. He vomited non stop, and he retched and retched until al that came out from his empty tummy was just the greenish bile liquid. That really hit the panic button in me. So off to the clinic again we dashed, but the doctor reassured me that my boy is as strong as an ox, and he just prescribed some dehydration salt and some medicine to stop the vomit.

And then, by Monday evening, my 3 other boys were also infected. So right and left, up and down there were always someone vomiting in my household. Yep, it was such a nightmare! I had to be a good nurse slash doctor slash toilet cleaner etc etc...

So I prayed that I would not get infected, and that's how I envisioned myself as Alice in that movie The Resident Evil:Afterlife...yep it sounds hilarious, but I think that had helped me tremendously, I swear!

I pictured myself as Alice, with that same sexy outfit that Mila had worn on the movie, with that same high kicks that had bashed numerous zombie-like creatures, and with that same, no-nonsense attitude, and of course, I envisioned myself with that same great body (not that difficult to do this, mind you!) haha.

The only difference is our weapons. Alice used guns and knives and whatever that was handy to kill those ugly zombie. Moi, well, I used lots and lots of Dettol disinfectant and lots and lots of disinfectant handwash. But it worked for me.

By Wednesday, hubby dearest caught the same disease, but not me. I stayed strong, and healthy and still kicking some nasty germs that dared to come into my household, very much the epitome of super sexy and gorgeous femme fatale. So in other words, I was the Last Man Standing in that nasty diarrhea episode that invaded my house last week.

sigh....

Penat, kan ????

So I'm off for my well-deserved rest (clue to hubby : some 6-stars hotel stay for 2 nights wouldn't hurt).

Yeah. As if my hubby reads my blog, hahaha !

Well, off to rest anyway, and maybe this time I should envisioned myself as Lara Croft, off for another of her great adventure!

Take care, people, and don't let that nasty diarrhea germs bite you!

Craving Session...Arghhh!!

2011-09-10T12:34:00.006+08:00

Argh. Since I came back from Raya, I just couldn't shake this craving that have....This craving really drove me crazy but I just couldn't find the right channel to assuage the lust that I have (oh mama mia!)

You see, I crave for this object.

It's gray in colour, cylinder in shape (like a sausage to be exact),, longish (about 6 inches minimum, and can go up to a whopping 10 inches long), and yep, it came in sizes - the small ones would normally have a diameter of roughly 1 inch across, and the big ones would have a diameter of about 2 inches across...In whatever sizes that it came from, it's deeply satisfying, and once I taste it I just couldn't stop !!!! I would just go on and on and on and on until I am fully satiated. And yep, I would just suck every juicy bits of that thingy, every last drop of that juicy, velvety good taste!

Wait. Did I sound like a sultry, super sexy adult (read:porn) movie advertisement ????

Sarah Michelle Gellar, former Buffy The Vampire Slayer actress....yummy!

Alamak...Sorry to mislead you.

Was actually talking about this.

Keropok lekor Terengganu..
Pic from the Net

You see, the other day, when I came back from Terengganu for Raya, I didn't get a chance to stock up my keropok lekor. Reason being, Mr Hubby decided to try the supposedly finished LPT/Lebuhraya Pantai Timur highway and bypassing the coastal state roads along Marang/Dungun/Kemaman, which are laden with roadside stalls that offers a haven for seafood lovers.

Yep, I missed those keropok lekor or fish sausage (I made up that description!), that keropok keping (fish crackers?), all those lovely ikan kering/salted fish, budu (anchovies sauce?) etc etc....sigh....

So this prompted another trip down memory lane, when my relatives used to make their own keropok...Hopefully, by doing this I could ease off my keropok lekor cravings...hmmm, worth a shot, no ????

You see, the single most important ingredient in making keropok is of course, the fish. The more, the better. And the best fish is ikan tamban, for its sweet, sweet taste. There's also keropok ikan parang, which are famous with people from outside Terengganu because the keropok or the crackers would bloom after frying, and it had that lovely whitish colour. Of course there are many other fish which are suitable for keropok, but I simply love keropok ikan tamban.

Then, after the fish, you must have sago powder, which would help the fish mixture to stick together and hold their shapes once you roll. And of course you must add in salt and enough MSGs (optional) for taste.

OK, that's the ingredient. So how to make keropok ?

First, you must remove the scales and the skin of the fishes. The scales and the skins would make it hard for the fish mixture to stick together, so to speak, so off them go from the fish. Next, you remove the head. Just chop their heads off, show no mercy! Next, make a small slit along the fish body, and remove the guts (this is basic, who eats fish guts anyway?). Then, make another incision along the fish backbone, and remove the flesh from the bones.

Repeat this procedure until you have enough fish fillets, or until you run out of fish, or until you can't stand with the fishy smell haha. OK so next, you pound the fish fillets, and mix it with the sago powder and salt and MSGs fro taste. When I was a child, there was no such thing as a machine to pound the fish, so the adults would take turns in pounding the fish in a big, wooden mortar and pestle.

Then, you roll the mixture into that cylinder shape. In the mean time, the heat up a big periuk with enough water, pour a bit salt, and wait for the water to boil. Once it boiling, just throw the keropok rolls into the hot water and once the keropok surfaced on the hot water, voila, it's a sign that the keropok is already fully cooked. So it's chow time!!!!!

We, the Terengganu people have no qualms in eating the boiled keropoks, it's fully cooked already. But then, there are squeamish people out there who are scared to eat those boiled keropoks (read: my Hubby), so we invent the method to cut those long rolls into shorter (and cuter!) pieces, and fry those in oils. But of course, frying will intensify the taste, and will make the keropok taste even better, yummyyyy!!!!!

Keropok Goreng for tea time...
Pic also from the Net

To make keropok crackers, wait for the keropok rolls to cool down (normally the next day), and just slice the keropok rolls into paper thin pieces, and dry those under the hot, scorching sun for a few days, alternately turning the cracker pieces so that they would have enough exposure to the sun. Of course there are machines to do all these jobs nowadays, I am just recalling the traditional method of producing keropoks....

The most famous place for keropok in Terengganu is a place called Losong. So the name keropok Losong is almost like a brand name, with places as far as Cherating and Kota Bharu also boast of selling keropok Losong at their stalls. During Raya of school holidays, the queue for keropok Losong is very, very long, and could easily turn into catfights if you are stupid enough to cheat and cut queue of the guy or the makcik before you! Lol!

Argh. Talking about this simply intensify my cravings. Gaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! Mayday mayday, need to make a phone call to Terengganu and ask (read: FORCE) my sister to go and buy the keropok, and courier them to me.

Ahhhhh don't I love the technology and the courier company ???

Well I rest my case....

Raya Memoir : The Beach, The Sea And My Heart....

2011-09-04T15:34:00.005+08:00

Just came back from my kampung for raya...sigh....and I still got some pieces of my heart there...sob...sob....2 days just felt like 2 minutes, and I'm still longing for my hometown...aghhhh!!!!!!!

So with that, let me just pour out my longings here in my blog....hmmmm so where do I start this eyyyy ????

Geographically, I hailed from the East Coast of Malaysia, where there are many, many pretty pretty women per square feet, more than any other places in Malaysia, yours truly included. (haha!).

Terengganu is the name of the state, and Batu Burok Beach, is the name of my kampung. So that's the geographical facts. Enough with that.

Ahhh Batu Buruk...do you know that the name Batu Buruk is derived from one huge rock that resides about 500 metres from the beach ? The rock is not very big, but it is clearly visible from the beach, and here's the fact, the rock NEVER tenggelam or sink below sea level, even when the monsoon season or high tide !!!! Yups, even during the high tide, you can still see the tips of the rock, winking at you amidst the crazy, monstrous and swollen angry sea.

And Batu Buruk is such a beautiful place to be.

Picture this.

The beach...an endless long, white, pristine beach. And the sea in front of you that came in almost all shades of blues and greens, and sometimes the blues and greens are intertwined together, creating a new shade of turquoise that you won't find in any artist's palettes. And then the sky above reflected the sea shade in blue, and the gentle fresh breeze softly blowing right at you, like a lover's sweet whispers and caresses...mmmmmmm.....

Feels like paradise, right ?

Batu Buruk Beach...bellisima!!!!!

Well, that's my paradise, that's my childhood playground, and that's where pieces of my heart still remain....

And it was such a charming place for a playground. I remembered many, many games there. One that I fondly remembered is the war games. First, we ( me n my cousins and kampung friends) would dig up holes about knee deep. The holes would be our forts or barricades. And for ammo, we would go to the wet sand neat the water edge, dug up the wet sand, and rolled up the sands into many, many tiny balls. Then we would roll the balls onto the dry sand. Somehow, the dry sands made the wet sandy balls hold its shape, and we would stocked up those as much as we could. Those would be our hand grenades (yes Uncle Lee, I started early on the hand grenade thingy!).

And then the war began, and we throw up our ammo left and right, up and down and every direction in the horizon.

By the time our little war is over, we would have sands in our ears, in our mouths, in our bajus and all over our bodies, and this, would trigger our moms to be an incredible hulk to see us in such a mess! And of course we would very much like to avoid such a situation. No, thank you very much! Incurring the wraths of our mothers is a big NO NO!

So we would (stupidly) opted to wash all the sands from our bodies (i.e. removing the evidence) by dunking into the sea. And we had such a fun time getting rid of all the sandy evidence and chasing each other and continuing our war games in the sea. And boy it was fun!

Until someone pointed out that our grannies were standing near the sea shores, with a pelepah kelapa raised high and shouting for ALL of us to come out of the water.

That evening all of us got a nasty canning from our fathers because we mandi laut without any adult's supervision. And that is how we learn that besides from incurring the wrath of our mothers, we must also avoid from incurring the wrath of our fathers ! sigh.....such were the memories...

And I remembered how we (yep, the same gang again) would hunt down for little crabs and clams in the shallow sea water, and cooked those little buggers in Milo tins and have our own little BBQ party by the beach! I only stopped doing such activity when one of my aunts pointed out that we were being cruel to the little buggers, coz we cooked those buggers alive! Gasp! Masak hidup-hidup ??? Kejam tuh ! And I don't want to be cruel to the animals, so that is how our little BBQ parties ended....sigh.....such were the memories....

But we respected the sea. Even though we always curi-curi mandi laut without our parents' consent (we did this by mandi laut only when our grannies took their naps in the afternoon, thus bypassing the informers, smart thinking, kan???), we would never go near the sea during the monsoon season. Somehow, we have this inborn or built in instinct that the sea is not always a safe place to be.....

But I still love the sea, no matter how it looked. Looking at the sea made me forget all my worries. And watching the endless waves crashing on the shores made me feel calm. And seeing the big blue sea, with the big, blue sky above made me think that anything is possible.

And last few days, I rekindled my long, childhood romance with the sea, the beach and the sky....yet it still feels like I don't have enough, and I'm still longing for more....

And all I have are just memories.....

Batu Buruk, in the early hours in the mornin....

The South China Sea rushed to greet me, like long lost lovers embracing each other after long, long separation....and the morning sun blessed our little rendezvous with its golden glory....yup I'm being super poetic...must be the sea water....

My own boys, having a sand frenzy moments...it's such a delight to see this moments...

Sigh....enough with this reminiscence, hope that I can persuade my Hubby to balik kampung again, perhaps next month hehe...

So here's wishing all of you....

Selamat Hari Raya, peeps....thanks for dropping by !

Maaf Zahir Batin....

signed
Razzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (yep, off to sleep and dream of my charming little paradise)

The End is Near : The Frenzy Tales of Ramadhan

2011-08-22T11:25:00.015+08:00

Today is day 23 of Ramadhan, so in 7 days or less, Muslims all around the world will be rejoicing and celebrating the new moon of Syawal, the month of victory. This new month is much anticipated after a hardship of enduring hunger and thirst while fasting, and restraining oneself from doing things that can batal your puasa. Do I need to elaborate on things that can make your puasa batal ? Don't have lehhhh....OK

Ramadhan is a blessed month, it is said to be the month of maghfirah - forgiveness from Allah from all of your past sins. And theoretically, Muslims are supposed to do lots of amal ibadah in order to get the divine forgiveness from Allah. And so, there's a frenzy among good Muslims to double up their solat or prayers instead of dancing ther butts off at the clubs, more Quran recitals instead of listening to Justin Biebers saying 'I would never say neverrrrrr!' (itu example lah ye!) and lots and lots of derma, or donations to the poors.

A Muslimah reciting Quran at Blue Mosque, Turkey

Women performing solat at Prospect Park, Brooklyn New York

Muslims performing solat at Guantanamo Bay Prison.

All photo credits belong to: http://islamicsunrays.com

Those are the good kind of frenzy.

There's another kind of frenzy, the one that are happening to a vast majority of Malaysian Muslims especially.

The first frenzy of this kind, began on the very first day of Ramadhan.

It is called the PaRam frenzy. PaRam, as in Pasar Ramadhan, or Ramadhan Bazaar, Ramadhan market. It is where people flocked to that makeshift markets for some kuihs, or lauk buka puasa or simply cuci mata. And there's a wide array of foods displayed, enough to make you gone crazy, especially since you are hungry and thirsty, from fasting that everything at PaRam looks delicious and you must buy simply EVERYTHING!!!!!

There are that must have onde-onde or buah melaka, that exotic kuih tahi itik, that gangster kuih lompat tikam, that delightful bubur kacang, plain old karipap or ts upgraded sister, the karipap pusing, the thirst quencher and colourful puddings and so on and so forth.

And there are to die for murtabaks, laksa Penang, Mi Kari, mi sup, mi goreng, char koay teow, nai beriani, nasi ayam, sate, ayam pusing, kepak ayam madu et cetera et cetera.

And the lauk to accompany the nasi! There are ayam masak merah, ikan bakar, terung goreng berlada, patin masak tempoyak, rendang daging, kurma daging, phewwwwww...I am salivating simply by reciting the lists!

Suffice to say, Pasar Ramadhan is a mini food carnival, and it is really some serious gastronomic affair. It's not a place to be if you are watching your weight, and it can also incur some serious damage on your wallet content. Yours truly, for instance, spent RM60 alone on day 1 of Ramadhan at PaRam. And I only stopped from buying more food because I hot my hands already full with countless plastic bags, on both hands! Sigh...

PaRam has its ups and downs graph. The highest turnover is on the first and the last day of Ramadhan, and people can be really frantic in buying foods in these two days. And normally, week one will record a high turnover when reckless, lazy and kaki makan people (read : moi, yours truly, me!) will frantically buy foods and keep on alternating between stores and buying different variety of foods (read: found out that the foods that I had bought are not tasty at all, so had to switch to other makcik!).

After week one is over, the PaRam fever cooled down a little (read: this normally happen after one week of moaning and cursing the makciks for selling foods that are not tasty at all, harap nampak jer cantik tapi rasa yuckkyyyyy!).

And then, enter phase two of Ramadhan fever. Once the PaRam fever subsides, there's another frenzy that will fill its void. This is the COOKING frenzy phase. This is when you are done with all the moanings and cursings of irresponsible PaRam food sellers for selling foods that are not up to your standards, and TING! there's a light bulb lighting up your mind, and you started to think that Hey! I can cook like that also lehhh!!!!!

And so it began. All that energies, all that hours spent in the kitchen cooking whatever it is that came into mind. Nasi biryani, nasi ayam, laksa Penang, fried noodle, soup noodle, onde-onde,ikan bakar, honey roasted chicken, kurma daging, rendang ayam etc etc etc and the list goes on.

This phase is also short lived. It will normally have a life span of one week, or two the most. Reason for dying : aiyyahhhhh...so susah la to cook and then had to clean up some more (read : masak sendiri pun tak sedap jugak!!!!)

Right after the cooking disaster frenzy, errr whoops, did I say cooking disaster ? I meant to say Cooking Frenzy phase is over, there's a shopping raya frenzy. Now this is the phase when people would think about what colour theme is it going to be for their baju raya attire....

Let's see, last year it was lavender theme, when all the baju, handbag and shoes were perfectly matched in lavender hues that I resembled a walking lavender farm, so this year is a close contest between turquoise, or perhaps that rare dog's poop gray (kelabu tah* anjing lerrr) theme ? Hmmmmm dilemma dilemma....

And what about handbags ? Prada or Gucci ? But Coach is the IN thing now. And how about LV ? Aiyyohhhh cannot la. The other day I saw a makcik selling kuihs at PaRam also wear Louis Vuitton handbag ! Gaaaa!!!!!!

Huh. And what about shoes ? That Jimmy Choo's stiletto is to die for, but how to wear stiletto when I had to carry a chubby 1 year old in my arms ? Huh dilemma dilemma..... (yeah like I wear Prada or Gucci of LV or JC hahaha)

And the tudung selections to choose from...there's Aryani, Yuna, Syrian, Bawal etc etc...huh buat I confuse saja...and the kedai emas....ahhhhhhh the kedai emas.......

Oh yes. At day 23 of Ramadhan, we are seriously entering the RAYA frenzy. You know it when radio stations and shopping complexes play the raya songs non stop, and serious shoppers flock the infamous Jalan TAR in Kuala Lumpur, causing a frenzy on the road.

Ah yes, the frenzy. This is a sign for me to stop writing for this entry, because I would also want to join the ultimate shop til you drop shopping frenzy!

Tata all, me heading for some serious marathon in a short while! (Yeah rite, says my hubby, always the party pooper)...sigh....

I'm Hannibal The Cannibal !!!! Gasp!!!!!!

2011-08-17T13:29:00.009+08:00

Remember him ? THE Hannibal Lecter, the infamous cannibal character ever invented on screen. And I secretly believed that Hannibal Lecter the Cannibal is the sexiest villain, on par with Captain Jack Sparrow (The Pirates of Carribean) and that guy who starred as Imhotep in The Mummy Returns.

And gosh, Anthony Hopkins really played his part to the boot! I remembered watching the movie, and I had this goosebumps all over my body just by looking at him. I mean, his character was supposed to be pure evil, a megalomaniac, a psychopath who killed and EAT his victims coldheartedly, with no remorse whatsoever. But in that movie his silent conduct, his wisdom and his eloquency spoke volumes that I couldn't help feeling mesmerized and transfixed to his character! And that, really give me the creeps!

Creepy yet intriguing Hannibal.

But what's more creepier is the facts that I bought the books that were written based on the movies - both The Silence of The Lambs, and its sequel, The Red Dragon. You know how novels are much, much more intimate that what you see on screen. On screen, you can scream, you can close your eyes, hid beneath your sofa or whatever, when you encounter those ugly, scarry scenes. Just shut your eyes for a few seconds, and you escaped all that gory, bloody murders. That's how I watched horror/thriller movies. I scream and shut my eyes so that I don't have to witness the ghost that leapt on screen, or whenever a psychopath killer caught his victim on screen.

My sister hates to see horror movies with me. She said she is more afraid to hear my scream than to see what is really happening on screen. I told her, well, that's what watching a horror movie is all about. It's about scrreammmmmm and let go. She said that I'm a coward. So I punched her face, and that, induced a catfight that only ends when our parents pulled us apart. I was 10, and she was 9 back then. Talk about she-cats from hell! haha

Well, anyway, the question now is, am I a cannibal ? And why ?

Remember him?

Gomok, the past.

Well, hubby dearest woke up 2 days ago, and decided that he would like to eat duck meat for iftar. So guess who ends up as dinner on our table that day ?

Yep, the Gomok.

I told Teddy my hubby that I don't eat my own pets, that it would be almost like a cannibalism to do such thing. Teddy was quick to point out that his ducks are not his pets, well, at least he doesn't look at his ducks the way that he looks at his arowana, for example. And then we argue back and forth on the semantics, and we even went as far as the history of evolution in homo sapiens, the neanderthals and the cro-magnons , just for the sake of arguing. Yeah, nasty.

A cro-magnon skull.

A Neanderthal skull reconstruction

If you want to know how a homo sapiens looks like, just look in a mirror OK!

Anyway, suffice to say that Teddy won the debate. But as a consolation prize, I told him that yep, I can cook the duck, butI won't get my hands dirty with the slaughter, the cleaning/processing of internal organs/feathers etc etc. And I can't promise that I would eat the duck!

So we reached an agreement, and Teddy kept to his promises. And so I cooked the duck meat that day. The rendang kerutup itek that I cooked in my huge wok (yep, I cooked 1 whole bird, coz Teddy's staff in office are all duck meat lovers!) doesn't at all reminds me of Gomok. And by iftar or buka puasa time, when I put the rendang on the serving plates, all that I can see is just....wahlauuu...the rendang looks like chicken only mehhh!!!

And Teddy gently put 1 portion of the rendang on my plate. I glared at him at first, but hunger took over me, and I gingerly squeezed and pinched the piece of meat on my plate. The meat was dark, unlike the white flesh of a chicken. Oh gosh, I'm soooo ready to puke! But I tahan, just as I don't call forth Gomok's image in my mind. And so I took the first bite, and..................

OhMyGod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was delicious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that, is how I crossed over to the 'other' side.

Of course not the cannibalism part.

But the duck meat lover society, if there's one society like that. Haha

Duck Tales : Cerita Itik GAMPANG (??)

2011-08-09T09:25:00.000+08:00

Gampang.

If you say the that word in Indonesia, people would just shrug it off and you won't risk being gang-bashed by some angry crowd. Gampang in Indonesian language means easy.

But tongues will wag and (perfectly embroidered) eyebrows will raise, if you utter that particular word in Malaysia. And yes, you could risk some great injuries on your body if you say that word out loud.

Loosely translated, it means 'el bastardo', or son of a *itch (yep, something that rhymes with witch), or simply said, it means anak haram in BM.

OK, enough with that fascinating word facts. I'm not a language expert, and we are not here not talk about Malay-Indo discrepancies, nor are we arguing semantics here.

It was midday, and I was clearing the unwashed dishes and preparing to cook for Iftar, or buka puasa dish. Yours truly and her mom in law were in the kitchen, just having a small chat.

And then, out of the blue, my mother in law uttered the word ITIK GAMPANG and I who have such delicate ears (haha yeah, right!) almost dropped the plates that I was washing.

"Hah ? Mak cakap apa tadi ????!", I said.

And then she repeated the same words. And I, who was only half listening to what my MIL had been talking about (heyy, so I daydream a little and not really paying attention to what she was talking about, yep...I'm a bad daughter in law!!!!) had to ask dear MIL to repeat the subject matter that she was talking about.

She was talking about this.

Introducing : Inchek Gemok, my fat little duck.

According to MIL, Inchek Gemok - the fattest duck among Teddys' 14 little precious had started to mate with other female ducks (oh finally!). But he chose to mate with an itik telur (reared for its eggs). So according to MIL, a marriage between an itik daging (reared for its meat) and itik telur, will result in itik gampang! Gampang, because the mother is 'easy' that another breed of duck can climb on top of her....Oh. Such a stigma....and I couldn't help feeling sorry for that poor itik gampangs everywhere who had to live with such stigma...sigh....

Well, enough about that social label. The question now is, how in the world can a city gal like me, get stuck and involved with such animals ?

Well, for the past 8 months, we had left our home in Kuala Lumpur and stayed in Pahang. It was Teddy's decision to take a year off from office work,just do some free-lancing consultations and sales projects, and be with his parents who were not quite well back then. So I, being a good wife, just went along with his plans.

And, along the way, out of boredom, and also for the sake of venturing into some unknown territories, my hubby Teddy decided to grow some chickens, ducks, quails and birds in our vast backyards. He also went to the extent of planting 100 chili plants, the cili padi variety, you know, the kind of that small,tiny chillies but pedas like hell!!!! Oh but I sooooo love cili padi, couldn't live without them hehe...

He said it is just a POC - a proof of concept, so to speak, because in near future he would like to venture into the agricultural business. Hmmm...

That, and because he said that there-is -going-to-be-some-kind-of-a-big-disaster-in-the-year-2012, so-we-might-as-well-take-precautions-and-get-ready-with-it.

Whew!

Well, I don't have any idea regarding the big disaster that is going to happen in yhe year 2012, and I just took a que sera sera stand on this issue. Yep, whatever will be, will be...

Anyway, back to Teddy's livestocks, sad to say that the little baby chicks died, but the ducks, the quails and the birds survived and flourished. The quails, (4 of them, 3 females and 1 lucky male), got nothing better to do than to reproduce. Everyday, there would be about 10 tiny quail eggs in their 'apartment', and that's a minimum figure. Yeah, go quail!!!!!!! (my personal thought is, the word aphrodisiac should have the picture/iconic image of a quail right next to it haha)

The ducks had been with us for almost 5 months, and by now they should already mate and hatch eggs, but ZILCH! No eggs!

But boy, they CAN really eat! They can finish off a 25kg sack of ducks food in just a few days. And they finished off any small plants and leaves that are low enough for them to grab. And they grew fatter and fatter, and Inchek Gemok is the fattest of them all....

And it is sooooo fascinating to watch the ducks. They really stick together, moving together in a single file, like little soldiers marching off for some big battlefields...My favorite time is the feeding time, I would scoop out their food from the sack, and pour the grains into the pots, and they would rush for the food, eat noisily, yet elegantly, pecking off every single grain, like tomorrow would never come...

My hubby Teddy's little darlings, all 14 of them...come on, bila uols nak mengawan ??? haha

Well, maybe I should change my blog header to something like Living A Kampung Life, right ? Hmmm...

My First Love...

2011-08-03T09:28:00.006+08:00

My first love...
you're every breath that I take,
You're every step I made,
And I,
I want to share all my love with you....

Endless Love/Diana Ross...
(Hail Madame Ross, such a beautiful vocal!)

Ahhh yes...last night, as I was about to sleep, I played this song on my cute little netbook, courtesy of YouTube and made possible by an uninterrupted broadband link....

And that reminds me of my own first love....sigh...(with that faraway look that signals that we would be taking a long walk down memory lane)

Ah yes, he is my very first love. I started to fall in love with him, even without having to see him, or meet him face to face. And this feeling grew and grew, and by the time I finally got to meet him face to face, I was completely head over heels in love with him.

It was the kind of love that proclaims I love you till the moon don't shine, till the sun cease its burn, till the sea dry up.....the kind of I love you till eternity.......

And it was such an emotional day, the day we finally draw the curtain, and met each other. I cried with joy when I saw him. He was everything that I had imagined, and more. And when we touched for the first time , I was enslaved to him -all lock, stock and barrel....and I got so overwhelmed by a sudden rush of the love so pure and so true, that's it's almost at the primal or animal instinct level...

And when I caressed his naked body, I was overcome with an euphoria that every mother should feel after 2 hours of battling pain in the labor room...

Don't hold your breath, yep, I said first love, love, naked, mother and labor room in describing the same subject....

I'm talking about him...my first born, my first love...

Ultraman numero uno, day 1....

Ultraman numero uno, 8 years later...

We took many first steps together, both he and I.

And this year, he took another first step...he completed his puasa, and I mean full day puasa!!!!! Oh gosh, I am soooooooooooooooooooo proud of him, my little crown prince, my first love...

Yeah, go Ultraman!!!!!

Salam Ramadhan, people...have a blessed Ramadhan...

Black Velvet vs Red Velvet

2011-07-28T23:27:00.008+08:00

Oh goody, I love velvet! I used to have a long velvet dress in black, that I used to wear and flaunt on my girls' night out with my girlfriends, and damn it was a 'hit' little number, back then. It was like my 'baju cari makan', if you know what I mean.

Hell no, it's not 'cari makan' as in a pros(titute) looking out for potential client, heavens no! But damn I looked good in black, and black velvet, oh wow wow wowwwww and men just couldnt help but notice this gorgeous creature clad in black velvet..la dolce vita ! (yep, I'm exaggerating, but who cares?)

http://www.my-wardrobe.com/jasmine-di-milo/full-length-velvet-dress-803025

I love velvet. The texture, sooooooo smooth yet sooooooo comforting, And it holds its shape, meaning that, you can either have a beautiful body beneath the velvet, and you can flaunt it for the world to see,

OR, you can also be big, yet you can hide the multitude of sins beneath the velvet fabric, who will discreetly hold your 'big' secrets without ever revealing your bumps beneath, and yep, you can also flaunt your bods for the rest of the world to see!

Yay for velvet!!!

And I love to run my fingers down the smooth, satiny and silky surface of the velvet. Sooooo sensuos, oh la la!!!!!

Hmmm....

But today, well today it's not about black velvet.

Today, I give tribute to red velvet. Red ? Oh gosh, if there was ever a colour that I could avoid from wearing, it's gonna be red. Especially the bright, firearms red. I don't know, I guess wearing red is just like screaming for attention, like verbally yelling to everybody and shout ' LOOK AT ME ! LOOK AT ME NOW!!!!'

And as gorgeous that I am, I wouldn't want people to literally having their heads forcebly turn at me. No...I'm more on the pastel, soft coloured hues, just like Van Gogh, painting all shades of soft hues...sigh...I love Van Gogh...and Keane...

But hey, focus please!!!!!!

Dress of the Day: Red velvet long dress by Antonio Berardi

OhMyGod!!!!!!! This is soooooooooooooooooooo sexy! Monsieur Berardi is sooooo clever ! sigh.... I regretted not knowing you, babe!

Today's entry is not about black velvet dress, or sexy red velvet floor length dress that I-regretted- not-to-know-back-when-I-was-young-and-drop-dead-gorgeous (well, still gorgeous hahaha!).

Today's entry is not about dress, period.

It's about red velvet of another kind.

The infamous Red Velvet Cake.

I've heard about Red Velvet Cake, but I've never tasted it before. But I know that I must have it. So I searched the internet, and found the most reliable recipe in thejoyofbaking

So I hunted down for all the needed ingredients, and yesterday I embarked on my own adventure, and boy it was fun !

I felt a little like a mad scientist, especially when I mixed 2 teaspoons of vinegar with baking soda, and watched how the mixture fizzle and bubble away...and yep, like a mad, wicked magician, I chanted...

Trouble, trouble, boil and double !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the outcome was great. The cake is moist yet tender, and it is soooooooo delicious and yummy !

The presentation is a bit messy. The recipe said that I should chill the cake in the fridge for at least one hour before I frost the cake, but hey, with the cake this gorgeous, who could wait that long ?

My very first RVC....

See, that is why I love baking, and cooking.

I'm off to finish the remains of my gorgeous Red Velvet before my troopers finished it off, without me!

The Lord Of The Rings: Episod Kilau Cincin Berlian

2011-07-17T23:37:00.005+08:00

Hmmmm...semalam beta bermimpi...mimpi melihat sebentuk cincin berlian yang amatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt cantik. Siriyes cantik.

Berkilau dengan sinaran dari jotaan facets, so much so, sehingga berlian itu kelihatan seperti titisan air di hujung daun.

Adakah dikau yang hadhir dalam mimpi beta wahai cincin berlian ????

Dan seri berlian yang diikat dengan untaian emas kuning itu begitu memikat, menjerat rasa dan naluri semulajadi ai yang begitu lemah apabila berhadapan dengan kilau emas dan berlian....owh.............terpana aku pada kilauan saktimu...........

Dan panahan sakti omeh itu terus membangkitkan nafsu yang bergelora bagaikan badai yang membelah samudera lantas menghantar ribut taufan ke tanah daratan dan ke serata pelusuk horizon.

And terus, aku berghairah. Berghairah untuk memiliki cincin yang gorjes dasat itu. Dan ku tanyakan harganya pada penjual cincin itu....

No. Don't bother to hold your breath.

Bukan RM24 juta.

Bukan juga

USD24 millions.

Bukan koleksi de Beers, bukan Tiffany's, bukan Cartier's, and most definitely, bukan Jacob & Co....

Cincin itu tiada jenama, dan harganya pun cuma seribu hingget plus plus (err aku lupa exact price dalam mimpi hehe)....

Maka...beta tanyakan pada memanda menteri beta...Titah beta :

"Wahai mamak menteri, semalam beta bermimpi...mimpi melihat sebentuk cincin berlian yang amat gorjes serinya, dan amat indah kilauannya, dan harganya pong tidaklah sampai mencecah jotaan hingget Malaysia, seribu hingget plus plus jerrrr...murah jerrr bangggg",

Demikian titahku pada mamak menteriku yang sedang berlenggeng memakai boxer tanpa baju dan saat itu mamak menteri sedang sibuk memberi makan pada burung burung di dalam taman burungnya....

"Hummm"...gumam mamak menteriku.

"Choiiii, dia buat buat pekak la pulok", bisik qalbuku yang sedang bernafsu besar.

"Apakah maksudnya mimpi beta itu wahai mamak menteri?", terus aku mendesak pada menteri yang mempunyai ketulan lemak tepu di serata badannya itu.

"Huh awak tu banyak sangat duk depan netbook mengadap Internet baca berita pasal cincin 24 jota la handbag LV sejuta hingget la, tu yang sampai terbawak2 dalam mimpi! Dah tuksah berangan feeling-feeling princess, pi masuk dapur buat air kopi Jantan kat saya, saya haus!"

Hoh. Dan saat itu aku terus tersedar..............

Choiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Nampak sangat la aku tak ada kerja asik bertenggek depan netbook dan baca macam2 gusip kat Internet hahahahahaha

Mimpi ghopernyerrrrrrr!!!!!!

The Heartbreaker : Be Still, My Heart....

2011-07-11T22:57:00.005+08:00

It's been one whole week since my hubby broke my heart into tiny little pieces and left me all alone to lick my wounds and at the same time I had to take care of the children and maintain my sanity adn that left me so tired, like I had been fighting in an endless battle but there's no signs of who's gonna win, and the morale got low, and lower till I feel like I can't breathe anymore, and I just wish that the end is near.......

OK that was an exaggeration at the highest level.

What happened was, hubby went outstation, and with him, he brought one tiny piece of my heart....well....ummm...not exactly my heart lah....

Actually he brought our broadband modem with him, and that, dear sirs and gentlewomen, in this Facebook and Blogger era, is equivalent to coldly ripping my heart out from my chest cavity, and what's even worse is that I was powerless and all I can do was just to stare at my big, pulsating heart and feeling the void inside the chest cavity, at the place where my heart used to be...and the pain. ohmygod OHMYGOD!!!!!!

The pain was excruciating, like one million tiny pieces of needles and knives took a stab at my body. Ahh....the agony, the pain, the hurt...........

Whoops. There I go again, exaggerating things to infinity and beyond!

I blame it on TV lorrrr...one week without modem equals one week of TV overdose, and can you believe those junks they put on TV now ?

Wait.

What am I doing here, stuck on my blogger page and trying very hard to update my blog when I am free to roam the borderless Internet kingdom, now that I got back my heart, whoops, I mean, my modem ?

I rest my case.

Rawan Sakti Nebula Cinta Kita

2011-06-30T22:00:00.002+08:00

Inginku
menggapai suria
bagi meleraikan
rindu dendam berahi pada
kerlingan manja bintang
dan menzahirkan
asyik mahsyuk pada
pesona renungan rembulan
yang menarikan ulik
aurora borealis di di ufuk utara
pada rona hati
yang tersentuh pada
nebula yang sedang rawan
merindukan titisan terakhir
nur terindah....

Kerna aku hanyalah sang pemburu
terkesima pada sakti panah cintamu...

Rawan sakti nebula cinta kita

Perghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Jiwang 18 karat. Hey, that's high lit. Well at least for me lah.

Seriously, I don't know where the heck the above came from.

I was in front of my workstation (read : my Facebook page, the fake FB account haha), and that phrases just sort of sneaked into my mind, and my treacherous fingers just transformed the abstract ideas into something tangible, that stares back at me, glaringly so, from my Toshiba netbook's 14 inch screen.

Wow. Perhaps this is as close as I can get to the out of body experience.

And yep, I duly posted that on my Facebook. Well, the fake one that is.

Now I seriously wonder, if being quite close to the proximity of the Lynas factory has got anything to do with my new found power (POWER ?????? hahaha that's over the top la weii, power konon!)

Perhaps all my (disconnected) brain cells had finally found their right paths. Hint : remember the ads about growing up milk on TV, the one about sel-sel otak yang tidak bersambung? yeah baby, perhaps now all the cells are interconnected into one another, making a huge, huge chain of information super highways right smack inside my brain ??

Perhaps, perhaps perhaps....

well all this great thinking made me tired. So I'm off to bed in a jiffy.

Have No Fear, I Got The Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-06-24T13:27:00.009+08:00

Let's take a walk down the memory lane.( It's NOT a long walk, mind you, considering that I'm not that old, just reach 27 years of age (27, again???) haha, sorry could't resist that lorrr)

Anyways, I remembered back when I was still a teenager ( note : again, that's not a very longgggg time ago, I strongly believe that my teenage years are just FIVE years back, and let us just stick to that, like, FOREVER! haha) and well, I have this deep rooted fear whenever my mom asked me to do this specific chores....

Was it mopping the floor ?
Nope. I got my brothers to do that.

So was it doing the dishes?
Hell, no! That's what my younger sister is for.

Cooking ?
Wrong answer. I got my elder sisters to do that, thank you very much.

Chasing the cows and the goats and all the ayam itiks back into their pens?
No No No No No!!!! That's what people in DALLAS do (hahaha....)

So what was it ?

I'll give you clues.

It's boxy.

It got sharp, jagged little teeth.

It can spin and rotate its head in 360 degrees angle.

GASP!

Am I talking about.....ghost ? hantu ? Kui ?

Still clueless ????

Here's another clue.

The worst thing is, I need to put my hand closely to its head and let its teeth chew and shred the coconuts into tiny little pieces!

HELLOOOOOOOO darlin, am talking about the coconut shredder machine la sayang oii!

What were you thinking ?

Did you think that I was describing pontianak ? Poltergeist? Hantu cina ?

Sheeeshhh!

Anyway..............

Yeah I got a serious problem whenever my mom asked me to 'mesin kelapa', so to speak. I can't mop the floor, coz my bros had done that, can't do the dishes coz I had conveniently 'delegate' the task to my younger sis, and I definitely can't cook, coz nobody would dare to eat what I cooked (back then la OK, now no more ya!)...and so I'm stuck with the 'mesin kelapa' task.

And for those of you who raises your cute little noses and exclaimed that there are instant coconut milk everywhere, in supermarket got, in pasar also got, please.... let me remind you that this is the 90's, about twenty years back! (hey did I say twenty ? God Gracious! I mean FIVE years back! lol)

It was the time when instant coconut milk is almost uheard of, and when people patiently 'kukur' their own coconuts to make santan, or whatever!!

What ? You can't recall how a mesin kelapa looks like? Argh!

Enter Exhibit A : The Coconut Shredder Machine...
I got goosebumps just by starring at its revolving head.

Exhibit B : The post-shred coconut shell aka tempurung kelapak.

Note : I took the initiative to snap the pics, so the photo credits are all mine, MINE!!!!! muahahaha (evil queen laugh)

And so, I avoided as much as I can from being near to the coconut shredder machine. Shamelessly I cheated, I gave bribes (usually to my younger sis, and my endless lists of bibiks) and I did almost everything that I can so that I won't have to do the coconut shredder task. And I did it soooooooooooooooo beautifully.

And then came the era of the instant coconut milk. You can either buy the coconut milk in a box, or the freshly squeezed coconut milks from the pasar, and I thought that I had entered pure heaven.

Until today.

My MIL had prepared to cook daging masak lomak cili api, and she had prepared all the ingredients (thank you mom!), when suddenly, her friend came in the house and announced that there's a death in the neighborhood, and my MIL got called for the mandikan jenazah/body cleansing ritual for the dearly departed.

And so, she handover the cooking baton to moi. Which is not a problem at all, I can do the masak lomak cili padi with my eyes closed! kacang maa...easy as a cake.

Some more, she had prepared all the ingredients what. All the bawangs, kunyits, the chillies etc etc. Everything. Except the MUST have coconut milk. Actually, she had came to the part where she had cut the coconut shells in two, just conveniently waiting to be shredded by the machine! And what is masak LEMAK cili padi without the coconut milk ? masak cili padi won't do babe!

Oh how I freaked out.

I normally stocked out on instant coconut milks, I usually bought the six-pack cartons and just keep those in the freezer, so whenever I felt like cooking something that requires santan aka coconut milk, I would just open the freezer door, wave my magic wand and voila! instant coconut milk at my service!

But not today. No cute little box of instant santan in my fridge. And with that, my magic wand is useless. And I'd really, really freaked out. Like, it's Friday when the males must g to the mosque for the Friday prayer, and the boys are coming back from school early cozz it's freakin Friday and I'm freakin' out coz I don't know what else to do!!!!

It did cross my mind to fake pengsan, but nobody is in the house. What's the use of faking and staging a pass out with no audience ?

So I Called Teddy and asked him to buy some instant coconut milks, but he was already on his way back, and some more it's Friday, so most of the shops are closed for the Friday prayer.

And time is running out.

Tick tock tick tock....

And so it's just me and the dreaded coconut shredder machine.

Do or die.

Sync or swim.

And I took my steps to the coconut shredder machine, and rubbed my hands all over its body, just for courage (and luck), and I hold the coconut shells tightly in my hands, closed my eyes and........

I DID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I grated and shredded the coconut shells, both of them without any scratch or cuts whatsoever !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay for bravery.

So now I'm enrolling myself for paragliding, or perhaps bungee jump that I had always wanted to do, but I was too chicken-sh*t to do!

sigh...yeah I can talk big maaahh

I Got Balls !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-06-12T16:16:00.003+08:00

Errr...alamak, betui ka ?

Chaittt. Tak bole blah punya tajuk. Ekceli, ni entry pendek jahh nih.

Was talking about this :-

Ai cuma nak merafakkan sejuta rasa gumbira dan keterujaan ai dengan permainan yangs sangat2 menghiburkan, mencemaskan dan menyebabkan jantung ai dupdapdupdap serta jiwa raga ai rasa tak keruan semalam....

Kudos to both Kelantan n Terengganu team players, it was such a sexy,sexy game !!!!!!

Best Player/Man of The Match : Kapten Ganu, nombo 17!!!!!! yeahhhhh ai memang dah mark abe Juki, dari saat dia berdiri untuk membaca ikrar intergriti lagi ai dah tulih kat FB ai yang berdasarkan faktor kehenseman Kapten Ganu, ai dah consider ganu menang game tuh hahahahaha gatai

Photo Credits :
Gambar dicilok dari :http://www.norfanil.com/2011/06/keputusan-final-piala-fa-2011.html

It Started With A Kiss...........

2011-06-03T17:49:00.007+08:00

A kiss is still a kiss, in Casablanca
But a kiss is not a kiss, without your sigh....

Ermmmmm...that's a snippet of a lyric of the song Casablanca, by Bertie Higgins...Love that song, really do....such a beautiful song.....

Now imagine a nice, long,hot, passionate kiss..the kind that makes you feel the earth moves under your feet, the kind that can carry you high above the twinkling stars, the kind that makes you feel all heated up, like you can touch the hot, scorching sun, the kind that makes feel like you entered NIRVANA....mmmmmmm......

And someone used to tell me, that a kiss is not a kiss, without some tongue....oh lala!!!!! Thank you, France, for that French kiss lesson, we'll never forget you, seriously!

ERK????? Whadehelll ????????

Why am I rambling about these nonsense ???? Am I sick ????

Well, the truth is, I was down with the fever last week. And something must have altered my brain thoughts, to make me put in words, things that had written above....(yeah, that's a classic excuse haha)

So did my fever started with a kiss ?

.....Well, actually, No. I just wrote that as my entry title coz it sound soooooo poetic, that it captures my soul.

Well... allright !!! I wrote that as my title just to make people come to my blog thus increasing the traffic counter! Sheeesshhh you guys ate ants fro breakfast or what ????

Now back to business, I had a terrible fever last week, and it started with a terrible, terrible sore throat that I felt like there are a few mad tigers clawing at my tonsils, and my head felt heavy, like there were some mad tigers having a fun time fighting each other INSIDE my brain.

And don't let me start with that terrible, terrible aching limbs that I felt like there a a gazillion of mad tigers chewing at every corners of my limbs and muscles. Ouch....

And I blame the fever for awakening that LAZY beast inside me....Even after I recovered from that fever, I am still stuck with that lazy beast, and it just wouldn't allow me to patiently sit in front of my netbook n update my blog....erghhhhhhhhhhh.....aiyyoh so lazy lorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Now I want to go back to my zombie like trance and just stared away the the TV...ahhhh what a bliss, what a beautiful life...bellissima!!!!!

and...come to think of it.............why don't I brush up on my kissing technique, so to speak hahahahahahahaha (evil queen laugh)

NURKASIH the Muvi : Skandal Seks vs Cerita Hantu uols !!!!!!!

2011-05-11T09:53:00.002+08:00

Mesti buat poll. Antara skandal seks yang menyelak kain dan spenda orang serta mampu menyetimkan perasaan, dan cerita hantu mak lampir yang menyeramkan serta mampu buat uols tak tidur malam, mana yang lebih disukai oleh rekyat Malaysia ?

Mana ?

Skandal seks or citer hantu ????

Haish. Apo la pikio lamo2.

Jawabannya....

Duo-duo. Monang samo banyak.

Mau bukti ka ?

Huh....tengok la keadaan politaik Merreshia sikarang.

RON97 naik? Gulo naik rega ? Orang takat soseh soseh kat belakang. Paling hebat pun, kutuk2 kat status pesbuk.

tapi....

kalau ada update terkini pasal skandal seks...mak aihhh...lajuuuuu jer sokabar laku. Pehtu siap leh tengok n torren kat blog lagi. Wow !!!!!!!! Mabelessssss...hadap sungguh rakyat Malaysia nak menengok videyo seks, euwwwwwwwwwwwww! (p/s : ai cakap lagu nih sebab ari tu masa videyo tu terlepas kat youtube ai tak sempat nak nengok, hampeh! poton stim ai jerrrr.)

and kalau cakap pasal citer antu lak...mak aihhhhh...berrrrrrrrrrsepah sepah sekarang keluar citer antu. Kalau malas nak tengok kat wayang, tengok ler kat AstroFirst...kalau takmo bayo limoblas hingget, tengok la kat channel 104/105...

errrr....Kalau takdak estrok ???? Jangan bimbang adik kakok....kat tibitiga pun ado cito antuuuuuu, ai kamis malam jemahat masa tayangannya....serammmmmmmmm....memang seram........

Dan....lopeh tengok cito antu, kalau rasa takleh tido malam, sebab teringat2 antu anjasmoro mai cekik kita, leh la tunaikan kewajipan membunuh kapirrrrr....heh heh....malam jemahat maaaaa....

OK...dah hapdet blog, ai nak pi bersiap-siap pi spa, urut badan n sauna sekali...malam ni kan malam jemahat....

APA ???? Malam ni bukan malam Jemahat lagi ????? Baru malam kamis ?????

CHOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII........

Sib baik la ai sempat beli sokabar metroksek ngan kosmosek, leh la ai melampiaskan napsu pada cerita2 skandal seks, baik yang kisah ahlil politik, maupun kisah2 seks nunnn di felda2 sanunnnnn....

Nowm berbalik pada tajuk entry ai pada hari RABU (rabu la, bukan Khamis, pandikutty sunggoh la ai leh terkonpius hari neh!)...

Ni muvi yang akan release pada 19 Mei ini....

(sian ahkak Batik...meleleh air lio dia nengok nih kehkehkeh....)

Nota :
Kalau ai la jadi penerbit, ai buat cerita Nurkasih versi seram+unsur seks skit, baru la pecah punggung eh...maksud ai. pecah panggung! Matikan aje watak NUR, pehtu dia jadi antu pontianak yang amat seksi, pehtu balas dendam pada semuo jantan2 lam duniyo nih, pastu ada watak2 tok moh Tok Ippin, mummy anjasmoro, n paling penting, mesti ada adegan2howtttt atas ranjang, (kalau tidak, orang tak paham jalan cerita mahhhh), n create jugak adegan berbikini tepi kolam mandi etc etc.

Mesti larissssssss.

KONPEM.

I rest my pencil case.

Ngeh ngeh ngeh.

I'm At Westminster Abbey To Attend The Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T16:53:00.003+08:00

Huh. Inilah alasan kenapa aku tak hapdet blog selama seminggu lebih.

Baekkkkk punya alasang heh heh....

(ilham dicilok dari blog Puan Bananas yg tulih psl Internet Explorer tuh hehe)

OK, ai nak fokus pada royal couple now. Byeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Entry Tanpa Tajuk, Tanpa Nilai Ilmiah....

2011-04-29T09:52:00.000+08:00

Dah lama aku tak update blog. Dah seminggu jugak lah aku tak sentuh netbook dan Blackberry. Bizi sehhh. Siyes. Bukan sebab tak topap kedit. Bukan jugak sebab line broadband kena potong. Sumpah. Tapi sebab aku bizi duk ikut montot Teddy redah semak samun kat Ostolia outback nii haa.

ERK ???? Masuk semak ? Dengan Teddy ? Bikin videyo kaaa ???? Choiiiiiii. Jangan cemari pemikiranku yang suci murni ini. Biarlah hanya ahli politikus Malasyia sahaja yang berselingkuh dalam arena pembuatan dan pemaparan aksi melampau sebegitu, biarkan mereka. Dan biarkan juga mereka saling bersumpah lahanat sesama mereka, mudah-mudahan mereka semua akan jadi sesumpah, kan besh kalau jadi camtu....amannnnn doniya....heh heh....

Hmmm anyway, ai bizi meredah semak samun untuk mencari tapak dan kawasan yang sesuai untuk projek agriculture. Macam-macamlah plan yang ada dalam kepala Teddy. Tanaman cili cara fertigasi la, tanaman cara tradisi la, ternak itik la, burung walit la. Lantak dia la. Aku cuma sukung dengan cara ikut dia meredah semak samun. Isteri mithali la katakannnn....heh heh...

OK la ai nak kena stop dulu, ai nak attend kenduri kawen William satgi nehhhh....hurmmmm sekian lah sebuah entry yang tiada nilai ilmiah, bak makanan segera yang dijual d kantin2 skola jewrrrrr.....

p/s : entry kali ini adalah sekedar memenuhi permintaan peminat tegar blog ai yang mendambakan sentuhan listrik dari ai hahaha sila muntah.

Sebuah Kisah Porno....rentetan videyo sek ngetoppp!

2011-04-06T09:47:00.001+08:00

Huh. Ai dah agak dah. Musti uols menggigil-gigil tangan kelik tetikus uols n mai ke blog ai nan biru ini lepas uols baca tajuk entry ai.

Ai sajer jer tulih tajuk lagu tuh, ai rasa kalau check trending kat Google musti phrase video seks sangat2 ngetop sekarang nih, n I bet most of the hits tuh mesti la dari negara Isle kita nan indah permai lagi supan santun katun...hurmmmmm....kan ai dah cakap kat entry ai yg pasal ubat kuat dolusss...Malaysians are sooooooooooooooooooooooo obsessed with sex, khennnnn????

Dan ai sajer jugak la pilih tema ini untuk entry ai kali nih...iyelah, ai pun nak tunjuk yang ai nih bukan la surirumah yang koro sangat, ai haptudet jugak dengan hal ehwal politaiks hokeh!!!!!!!

Okeh, mari kita kupas isu berkaitan video seks terkini, yang sangat di nanti-nantikan release nya di pawagam, Astrok HD mahupun gerai CD Ah Seng (ini DVD copy mahh, bukan cinema horrrr!). Tambahan pula, pihat sokabar pun begtu ghairah dan saling berlumba untuk menyiarkan snapshots dari video pemes tersebutm setelah video itu di haplod ke Youtube, dengan ehsan sorang insan prihatin, yesss tenkiu lah pada insan yang sangat pemurah tersebut, moga Allah Taala MEMBALAS 'jasa' anda di doniya, atau di akhirat...ngeh ngeh ngeh....

Apapun, semenjak dua menjak nih, ahli politik Malaysia semakin maju dan berjaya keluar dari kepompong serta berjaya pula melakukan anjakan paradigma apabila mereka mula bergiat daam arena seni porno. (cheh bahasa skema tak hengattt!). Kudos pada mereka2 yang berkenaan, sesungguhnya ai sungguh berbangga dengan poliTIKUS Malaysia yang serba boleh bakat dan kemahiran mereka, syabbasss inspekter Sahabbb!

Sebagaimana yang kita ketahui, seni porno adalah satu cabang seni haluihhhhh yang begitu tinggi lagi murni nilai estetika, eksotik lagi erotiks nilainya. Dan kebangkitan video porno di persada pentas politik tanahair diharapkan bakal mencetus pula keinginan anak2 kita yang masih belajar di bangku skolah untuk turut bergiat dan berkecimpung dalam dunia seni sebegitu. Yezzzaaa Malaysia bogel!!! eh silap, I meant to say Malaysia Boleh....heh heh tersassul pulok...

Diharapkan agar`LEBIH BANYAK video2 seni seperti ini akan keluar dan memeriahkan lagi dunia poliTAIKs tanahair, dan mudah-mudahan, skill dan bakat seni porno ahlil poliTAIKs Malaysia bakal mendapat perhatian daripada pengusaha pilem porno Hollywood supaya bakat yang ada pada poliTIKUS Malaysia tidak terpendam begitu sahaja.

Ho-yeh!!!!!!!

OMEHHH !!!!!!!! Ai Beli Omehhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-03-26T22:15:00.005+08:00

GULP!

Itulah bunyi air liur yang korang telan dengan rakusnya bila baca tajuk posting ai kat ateh tu.

GULPPPPPPP
(with full blown vibrator tone), itulah bunyik Puan Bananas menelan air liurnya sampai hampir2 tertelan halkum lepas baca tajuk posting tu...heh heh....sabaq cheq.......

Tapi hakikatnya begitulah....

Omeh memang besfren wanita....Setiap kali ai melintas depan kedai Poh Kong atau Habib atau Tomei atau mana-mana kedai omeh, batin ai pasti meronta-ronta ingin berjumpa, membelai, mengusap dan membawa balik best friend ai tuh ke rumah....

Masih terbayang-bayang di minda ai akan kemesraan Eric (Poh Kong), Yuhanis(Habib), atau Ahkak Zabedah (Kedai Omeh Zabedah), saat-saat kami bergelak ketawa, beramas mesra sambil dikeilingi oleh para omeh-omeh yang tersususn di dalam rak kaca....hatta air mineral pong terasa lebih enak bila ai hirup di kedai omeh...owhhhhh...ku rindu momen-momen berharga sebegitu.....

Namun.....(mulakan background lagu gesek biola nan sayu)....akan tetapi........setiap kali itu juga lah Teddy akan memberikan satu jelingan tajam persis panglima Merong Mahawangsa yang kebuloq 10 ari tak makan nasik, seraya mendengus ibarat kerbau yang terlihat spenda merah di ampaian, lalu ai terkesima di situ....tidak mampu untuk ai memenuhi kehendak batin ai yang begitu menggelojak penuh gila ibarat rempuhan air laut yang melanda Sendai minggu lepas......tidak mampu.........

Apa yang ai terdaya lakukan hanyalah sekadar menjeling pada sahabat-sahabat ai........owh golang omeh...owh rantai omeh...owh cincin...owh golang tali gajah....owh rantai tali kapai...owhhhhhhhhh....Sabarlah sayang, suatu hari nan sweet day pasti kita kan bersua, untuk melampiaskan rindu dendam berahi batin ai pada sahabat2 omeh ai...owhhhhhh

Dan......setelah sekian lama mengidamkan omeh impian, setelah 60 inci ai memoncongkan molot nan gorjes ini, setelah bergelen-gelen ayor mata duyung ai rembeskan dengan begitu sendunya.............pagi ini, ai bangkit dari tidoq dengan satu perasaan baru. Bagaikan satu kelahiran semula, bagaikan dirasuk syaitonnirrojimmm, jiwa ai memberontak.

TIDAK !
CUKUP!
TITIK!!!!!!

Batin ai tidak mampu lagi untuk mengekang gelojak hawa napsu yang semakin menggila. Tiada lagi logika di dalam sanubari ai. Tiada lagi kewarasan saat keghairahan pada omeh menyerang minda.

Yang ai tahu cumalah satu. OMEH. Hari ini ai musti beli omehhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Lalu ai keluar dari rumah, sendirian tanpa otomen. Dan dengan rakusnya mobil Teddy itu ai rempit dengan begitu laju, bagi memenuhi jeritan batin ai nan satu itu. Dan dengan berdezzup, ai parkir kereta di hadapan Kedai Emas Zabedah, dan...............

Golang omeh 18K....cantik,padan lah dengan rega dia....
tapi bukan omeh ini yang ai beli.....

Inilah sebenarnya omeh yang ai beli....mangga Mas hitam, beli daripada penjual buah di hadapan Kedai Emas Zabedah....

tak dapat omeh betul, dapat omeh itam pun jadi laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......

Nota : Mahapkan ai kerna mencetuskan keghairahan pada uols, namun bati ai masih tersiksa kerna ai masih belom berjaya memujuk Teddy untuk pi beli omehhhhhhh huhuhuhuuuuuuuu

Ada Apa Dengan Blackberry ? Part II

2011-03-14T11:01:00.003+08:00

Menjawab soklan di atas, my answer is EVERYTHING !!!!!!!!!!

Now let's get back to business...Lama ai tak hapdet blog. Lama jugak la ai tak sentuh netbook baru yang dilanda kegersangan mengharapkan sentuhan dan belaian mesra dari ai...

Dan ai tahu, uols semua pon begitu jua. Kesepian, kegersangan menunggu nunggu tika, detik dan waktunya ai meng-hapdet blog ini, namun kehampaan jua yang membadai jiwa uols...

Kelikan demi kelikan uols tujukan pada tetikuih uols, namun tetap hampagassss, blog ai masih belum ber-hapdet, lalu uols terkesima di situ, menahan getar kerinduan untuk menatap bait-bait puitis indah yang ai lontarkan di persada blog biru ini...owhhh....syahdunya....

Maafkan diri ai kerna menyiksa jiwa raga uols...kerna membiarkan uols terkontang kanting dilambung ombak kerinduan, lalu uols terkapar-kapar kelemasan angkara kerinduan dan kehampaan ibarat anak kapal Titanic yang hanyut dibawa arus samudera Atlantik yang dingin beku dan rakus mengganas tanpa belas kasihan, show no mercy!!!!!! owhhhhh....Jack, u jump ai jump, after that I jump on you Jack....oh Leonardo de Caprio...mmmmuuuuahhhh!!!

ai lap yu forebarrr Jek...

kenangan manis saat jack melakar gambar bugil ai...auwwww!!!!

ERK!!! Sorry....FOKUSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

Maafkan diriku....sejuta kalungan maaf dari ai....

AI terlalu ralit berkepit dengan blackberry ai, sehingga ai lupa, betapa uols sangat-sangat mendambakan coretan ai yang sangat ilmiah, idok lerr macam blog lain ya cerita pasalbuat latihan amali mekap sampai menakotkan somi balik umah la, pasal trigonometri la, pasal link ilang la, pasal citer seks yang paling fofulerr la....huh langsung tidak menjana minda lantas mencetuskan satu anjakan paradigma bagi membentuk jatidiri demi 1Marresshhiiaaa !!!!!!

Well, anyway, untuk tidak menghampakan uols, nah terimalah hapdetan terkini ai...harap kerinduan uols yag sudah mencapai level million dollar round table MLM uols sudah terubat hendaknya...

OK ai nak belek blackberry ai hokkay, ai naklayan chatting via BBM (thats blackberry messenger, kalau uols tatau) n YM ngan feminats feminats ai heh heh sila muntah jangan segan2.....

Haruskah Aku Menangis ? Sebuah catatan duka...

2011-02-24T20:31:00.007+08:00

Ini ialah sebuah entri yang sangat serius. Serius ni. Aku sangat sangat sedih di waktu dan kala ini. Dari tadi, airmataku merembes keluar bagaikan Lembangan Yang Tze pada musim hujan lebat. Airmata duka. Duka belangsukawa meratapi gerhana yang membadai kamar hatiku.

Kenapa ini semua harus terjadi ?

Berkali-kali aku bertanya pada suamiku. Mengapa sayang ? Mengapa ?

Kenapa Teddy kenapa ?

Benci sangatkah kau padaku ?

Sanggup kau hancurkan harapanku ?

Teganya hatimu melukai aku ?

Setelah kau berikan 100% pengharapan, dan dengan begitu sahaja kau musahkan harapan itu.

Why babe, why ?????????

Dan dia tidak mampu memberikan jawapan konkrit.

Hanya mampu tertunduk.

Dan aku bagaikan perempuan gila yang kerasukan syaiton, aku terus memukul-mukul dada Teddy sambil menangis hiba.

"Abang kejam !" aku meratap, bagaikan tertusuk sembilu yang merobek-robek hatiku.

"Kenapa bang ??????", raungku, tanpa peduli pada ibu mertuaku yang kehairanan.

"Sabarlah....saya tak sengaja, saya terr" belum sempat Teddy habiskan jawapannya, aku terus mengongoi kehibaan.

"Sabarlah. Ni dah ada yang lain ni", jawab Teddy.

Dan aku terus menangis dengan sekuat hati bila mendengar jawapan Teddy.

Pedih
Luka
Hiba

Arghhhhhh semuanya tersimpul menjadi satu.

"Takmo ! Takmo ! Saya nak enpon Blackberry awak yang lama jugak, dalam tu ada SIM card DIGI yang saya dah register !!! Saya dah tak sabo nak eksen kat kengkawan saya kat tenet yag saya udah ada enpon Blackberry, apsal awak tinggalkan SIM card kat Kolumpo ????" jeritku pada Teddy.

"Tuh...CheOdah Vogeh dalam pesbuk saya tuh, dah sindir2 dah ngapa posting saya takdak tulih pong mesej dihantar oleh Blackberry. Tuu ha saya dah hapdet kat blog yang saya akan pakei enpon Blackberry utk bertenet...mana saya nak letak muka gorjes saya neh?????" jeritku, tapi yang ini cumalah jeritan batin jer la...

Ceritanya : Imbas kembali, bagaimana aku dah war-warkan pada seantero doniya, yang aku akan pakai enpon Blackberry. Walaupun cuma Blackberry lamo Teddy, namun daku tetap gumbiraaa.

Alih-alih, petang nih dia balik dari KL dengan Blackberry Pearl. Aku tak kisah yang tu. AKu tetap bersyukur. Apa-apa aje lah. Asei biri-biri hitam eh silap, beri hitam idamanku.

Dan aku tatau naper Teddy tetiba beli enpon Blackberry Pearl. Jangan tanya aku pasal rega ka apa ka. Aku buto Blackberry. Yang menjadi punca amukan dan kesedeyan ati aku ialah...........kat dalam enpon Blackberry lama dia tuh, ada tersemat SIM card DIGI yang aku dah gigih register dari last week utk dipakai utk urusan bertenet.

Nak pakai Celcom mahey nak mampoih, 6 hingget sehari...gilo apo...DIGI la paling murah, 2 hingget jer sehari.

Tapi dia terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtinggal pulok Blackberry lamo dio tuh kat Kay El. Next week dia pi Sabah. Nampak gayanya, minggu depan masuk bulan March lah baru aku buleh berlagak dengan Blackberry Pearl tuh. huh hampeshhhh....

dalam blekberi inilah tersematnya sekeping SIM card DIGI milik ai...ado kat Equine...kalo kakbatik duk kat situ musti ai paksa dia panjat umah ai utk amik enpon neh...

Blackberry Pearl yang takdak SIM card. hampeh...

Sekian, catatan duka ai....

Ada Apa Dengan Blackberry ?

2011-02-21T11:13:00.005+08:00

Kan ? Kalau uols ada akaun Facebook, musti uols akan selalu encounter posting2 dari Blackberry. Kalau kat wall ai, huh bersepah2. Sini Blackberry, sinun Blackberry. Or Android. Or Iphone. Or`nak lagi menjolok dan menikam-nikam mata biru ai, if it's IPHONE4. Ayoooooo. Mau mennnaannnnahhhhh mata ai. Huh. Berlagak la tu. Show off !

Itulah bisikan dalam ati sanubari ai. Menyampass. Het het het. Benci benci benci. Nyampasssssss !

Kadang2 ai rasa depa nih saja nak menunjuk jahh. Itu pasal la komen melalui enpon. Kalau idok, orang tatau yang depa ada enpon ceredik (errr smartphone khennn). Huh. Lalu termoncong2 la molot ai yang tetap gorjes walopong tanpa diselaputi listik Chanel. Huh.

Deyyyy ! Yittu Enpon tu kasi pakai untuk voice call la , machaaa, aneyyy, achiiii! Podachit !!! Hark tuihhh!....

Demikianlah lagi lontaran suara ati ai, sambil mencebikkan bibir ai ke tahap maksimum, taraf buleh sangkut hanger ateh moncong.

It is sooooooooooooooooo irritating. Reason being, ai takdak enpon Blackberry. (ikon pompuan gorjes menitiskan airmata sedih)

Tapi itu dulu la...heh heh....

Lopeh ni, mahu mennnnnnnnannnnnnnahhhhhhh mata uols menatapi kerakusan ai berFB melalui serbis beri itam, waima ke dalam jamban pon ai masih bisa berFB heh heh...

Errr walopong ai cuma pakei beri itam seken hen yang Teddy dah lamo lanyak, tapi, dokek status FB sinunnnn tuh manader dia tulih yinni komen dibawa oleh second hand blackberry khennnnn......

owhhhhhhhhhhhhh....copek la balik wahai Teddy, ku nantikan kehadiran Abe Beri Hitam ke pangkuanku.....

Blackberry yang bakal menjadi milikku....

Sekadar gamba hiasan, tiada kena mengena dengan jalan cerita...

P/S :

THIS ENTRY WAS POSTED VIA BLACKBERRY SERVICES, HOKEH!!!!

Jom Cuba Ubat Tenaga Batin Uols !!!!!

2011-02-09T10:49:00.004+08:00

heh heh.

As usual, tajuk macam gempaq. Mencicit korang klik mouse mai sini. Berdecit-decit la tetikus korang kena picit. Heh heh.

Tapi itulah hakikatnya. I think Malaysians are sooooooooooooo obsessed with sex. Kalau bukak majalah, 9/10 iklan adalah berkenaan ubat kuat seks.

Contoh yang biasa -

Kopi XXX dengan campuran herba keraklangit dan makjun mahkota raja serta kolagen (the in thing now is collagen), khosiatnya ialah dapat membangkitkan kejantanan dan jatidiri lelaki.
Contoh Tagline :
Suami gagahperkasa, isteri puas bahagia!
(choyyy sungguh tagline rekaan aku nih kan, nyah?)

Jangan risau adik kakak, produk untuk pompuan pun berlambak-lambak.

Contoh :
Produk Permaisuri Vogeh dengan campuran 100000 herba terpilih dan kolagen, khosiatnya ialah dapat merapatkan kewanitaan, menganjalkan kulit, membesarkan payudara, membuang toksik, mengempiskan perut, menghindari dari sakit jantung, buah pinggang, kanser dan paling utama, kembali pulih seperti dara uols!!!!!!!!

Tagline :
Memori malam pertama BUKAN lagi sekadar mimpi...

(choyyyyy jugak tagline rekaan ai kan nyeh!)

Disclaimer : *produk rekaan semata-mata, nama herba pun ai reka nyeh*

Minggu lepas, cikgu sekolah tadika Hakim datang approach ai. Datang berbisik-bisik, nak cerita asal produk baru.

TERBAEKKKK! kata cikgu X.

Antara testimoni pengguna :

Mak Limah di kampung XXX cakap, somi dia yang dulunya asik cebik bibir, skarang asik ajak masuk bilik wa cakap luuuuu !!!!!!!

Ahkak Zabedah di London cakap, somi dia puji........dulu...20 sen...sekarang, 5 sen...., wa cakap luuu!!!!!!! (tang nih ai lambat skit tangkap...apakebenda doposen lima sen neh...and then it hits me hahaha)

Dan banyak lagi la testimoni pengguna. Tak larat aku nak tulih.

Cikgu tu hulur kotak tu.

"Ambik la, nanti cik abang makin sayang", sambil senyum-senyum.

AKu ambik la. Kang dia dera anak aku kang.

Balik umah, aku campak jer ubat kuat tu atas timbunan ubat-ubat kuat yang lain.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Size Doesn't Matter - Small Is King!!!

2011-02-07T17:34:00.000+08:00

Yep. It's so true. After almost 10 years of marriage, I finally agreed to that widely debated statement.

Here's more:

What is power without control ?

It's not how BIG you are, it's HOW you perform.

Less is More

Kecil-kecil, cili padi!
(Forget that I use the BIG fonts to emphasize my point)
Yatta yatta yatta. Bla bla bla...

Size does NOT matter, and small is king. And long live the king!

Introducing, my latest toy...

my new netbook...

bukti bahawasa-nya gambo ini tidak dicilok dari mana-mana tempat dari the world wide web/www nan fana ini....

Note : This is a surprise gift from Teddy a few days before CNY. Maka dengan ini aku kehilangan alasang canggih untuk tidak siapkan buku baru...ermmm...sayang jugak Teddy kat aku ekk heh heh....

Enough with gloating. Now I've got to write and write and write and complete my second book.

Tapi...............Yusoff pulak dah nangeh....abeh camno ????

I rest my netbook case lohhhhh....ngeh ngeh ngeh...

Jauh Bau Wangi, Dekat Bau Taik Kucing...sebuah catatan duka

2011-01-23T20:30:00.004+08:00

Ya.

Benarlah kata-kata pujangga yang pernah kudengar dari mulut sorang pompuan beberapa bulan nan lalu. Pompuan itu berketurunan Jawa dan sekarang menetap di Charlotte, USA begitu bersemangat mengucapkan kata-kata begitu waktu kami sedang makan tengahari di rumahnya. Semangat sungguh dia bersuara, hingga tersembur-sembur nasi dari mulutnya yang tak berapa gojes itu. Tapi sebab dia tuan rumah, dan dia jugak yang masak asam pedas ikan jenahak itu, maka aku terpaksalah buat-buat tak nampak jer nasi yang berhamburan keluar dari mulutnya itu.

Waktu itu kami sedang serius berdiskusi (read:mengumpat) tentang perihal alam rumahtangga. Ilmiah sungguh diskusi kami. Dan untuk tambah menaikkan lagi level diskusi ilmiah kami itu, kami belasah pulak blueberry cheese tart sambil terus berdiskusi dan membentangkan hujah-hujah kami. Kami memang genius lagi gorjes, tapi aku laaagiiiii la gorjes dari tuan rumah keturunan Jawa tersebut.

Tapi betul lah madah pujangga anak Jawa itu.

Dan itulah apa yang sedang aku alami sekarang.

Jauh bau wangi, dekat bau taik kucing.

And I really mean it. Literally.

Here are the culprits.

Exhibit A : Mr Kiki

Exhibit B: Mr Lala (yg tompok2 tuh)

2 ekor kucing peliharaan ibu mertuaku. Kedua-duanya jantan, dan sedang kemaruk nak kahwin sekarang. So apalagi....habis satu rumah depa spray dengan bauan kencing yang amat memeningkan kepala aku...bau taik kucing tuksah cakap la...............naik gila aku jadinya....

Sib baik la kerja-kerja pembuangan taik kucing tu memang 100% milik ibu mertuaku...hehe habih...udah memang pets dia....aku OK jer selagi tak kena amik kontrak jadi petugas Indahwater utk Kiki n Lala hehe....

c'est la vie bebeh....that's life...

Catatan Porno (????) Aku Yang Kemaruk....ah....

2011-01-14T17:03:00.003+08:00

Mak aih....macam kilat korang klik mai sini bila baca tajuk entry aku. Bedezzup!

Tapi itu lah...The fact is, aku sedang kemaruk sekarang ini. Kalau boleh, hari-hari mau. Tapi malu pulak rasanya. Apa pulak kata mak mertua aku tengok aku mintak hari-hari. So aku terpaksa lah menahan getaran, 2 minggu sekali pun OK la....

Tapi menanti saat 2 minggu itu...ah...bagaikan bertahun lamanya....

Dan bila 2 minggu itu muncul.....bahagia rasanya....

Sentuhannya....wow!!!!!! Fantastic, electric!!!!

Saat jari jemarinya menekan segenap urat sarafku, menjelajahi setiap titik neuron yang bersambung dengan segala vena yang membawa darah dalam sekujur jasadku, dan saat itu, apa yang aku mampu lakukan cumalah mengeluh ahhhhhhhhhhhh....enak banget sih, Sunarti!!!!

Iya, Sunarti....hey! Jangan pulak pikir sumbang, aku bukan LESBO hokkay!!!!

Sunarti ialah masseuse Indon terbaru ku........Datangnya dari Lombok, dan gosh Sunarti memang handal mengurut!

That's one of the rewards of living a kampung life.....and I rest my case....

Diari Mak Supir Nan Gorjes

2011-01-09T15:45:00.006+08:00

OK dah seminggu sekolah bermula. Bermakna, dah seminggu jugak dah aku secara rasminya jadi mak supir nan gorjes lagi lemak berkrim...

Teddy ngelat, hari Senin ngan Selasa jer jadi pak supir, pehtu dia kena pi KL settle kan tender, maka tinggallah aku terkontang kanting hangkut bebudak pi skolah...Hafiz dah masuk darjah 2, n Hakim pulak dah stat tadika...dua2 skolah pagi, tapi petangnya aku kena hangkut Hafiz pi kelas KAFA lak....bizi bizi, takde masa aku nak bersosial kat tenet wa cakap luuuu.....

Huh! ikutkan ati, nak jer aku tarik moncong patblas di atas pengelatan Teddy, tapi memikirkan wang beso yg dia akan dapat bila projek tu dah settle, maka aku tarik napas dan banyak2 bersabo....istighpar istighparrrr....sesungguhnya sabarr itu satu senjata.........

OK la, aku pun takleh berlama2 depan laptop...satgi nak kena iron baju skolah otomen2 tuh...arghhhhhhhhhhh

anyway................

Hafiz excited gila masa pakai baju Melayu nak pi skolah KAFA...siap cakap macam orang nak pi kawin heh heh...n bila aku cakap nak snap gambo dia KHAS utk tatapan Syasya, tanpa segan silu dia terus posing sambil tersengih2....

Khas utk tatapan mata bakal besan aku nuunn di Charlotte, Ahmerika...ensem kan, bakal mantu ko ???? sejukkkk jer mata menatap wajah jejaka Melayu terakhir neh heh heh....

Flashback, Flashback...

2010-12-31T13:59:00.003+08:00

Today is the last day in 2010....Kejap jer rasa masa bergerak...tup tap tup tap, dah setahun.....

So apalagi, inilah saat yang sangat afdhal untuk kita menyelusuri rentetan perjalanan hidup sepanjang tahun 2010...Kira entri yang agak ilmiah la kan....takde la entri yang tunjuk kasut boot, gambau main seno atau citer pasal dibiden asb ke dan lain lain entri yang kureng ilmiah tuh....(hahaha mapuh la aku kena sumpah nehhh)

Anyway....Meh kita flashback....

Imbas kembali...tahun lepas, pada tarikh ini ai sibuk attend minggu orientasi otomen sulung ai, nun di skola taman universiti...ai datang dengan segerombolan angkatan otomen dan Teddy, pastu jumpa ngan Kak Tek n anak-anak patblas orang dia, tanpa abe Gapor yang masih kat US masa tu...

Then lepas habih orientation, kitorang singgah jumpa doktor pojaan ai, Prof Datok Dr Malathevan, sebab ai rasa tak sedap badan...pehtu, Dr M suh ai buat urine pregnancy test walopon ai konpiden jer cakap tak mungkin peknen kott...n ai leh hengat saat saat ai rasa macam terputus vena kava jantung bila Dr M cakap test postip!!! ayomaaaaa ! itulah jeritan batin ai tika dan saat itu......

Then, lopeh tu, bermula lah era SBM ai...SBM, as in sakit buatan orang dimana ai masa tu betul2 melepek pening loya muntah...erghhhh tak hingin ai flashback saat saat itu....

Then, lepas era SBM berakhir, ai leh la mula berpoya-poya dengan bekas jeran ai yang dah jadi expatriate di US nuunn...tapi tak lama tempoh berpoya-poya ai...sebab jeran ai terobang naik bilun ke US, meninggalkan ai terkontang kanting kesorangan...huhhu sedey, takmo flashback jugak saat tuh....

Then....lepas melalui era yang paling getir dalam hidup ai.....................I was finally rewarded with such a wonderful gift...it came in a beautiful bundle of joy, called Yusoff Solehuddin....Alhamdulillah...segala-galanya mudah, dan rezeki kami pun turut melimpah selepas kehadiran Yusoff....

Dan sekarang...at this point of time, here I am....at J town, Ostolia Barat...the dust is settling down, and I;m still adjusting here n there....

Teddy cuba ambil hati ai dengan beli set sofa leather baru, TV LCD baru, keta baru eh silap...keta tuh keta dia heh heh....sort of like, easing the moving pains lah...

Huh...sebenonya udah jenuh ai cuba buat hubungan telepati dengan minda Teddy....only if he can read my mind...kalau nak hiburkan ati ai, bawak jer la ai ke kedai omeh...tapi so far, dia buat derkkkk jer...huh nyampah!!!!!

ERK! Sorry, dah melalut dah topik ai.....

Anyway, goodbye 2010...welcome 2011....

bring us good health, and great wealth and profound happiness....amen.....

LeaVin' On A JeT PlaNe.........

2010-12-25T12:38:00.004+08:00

"Leaving On A Jet Plane"

I'm ... I'm ...

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

I'm ...

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times that I won't have to say ...

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

And I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

But I'm leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
(Leaving) On a jet plane

by CHANTAL KREVIAZUK

I'm in a melancholic mood now, hence that dreamy song by Chantal Kreviazuk. It really suits my mood and the situation I'm in now. Well if you don't remember, Leavin' On A Jet Plane was one of the soundtracks in the movie Armageddon ...it's the departing scene when Liv Tyler said goodbye to her hero.....(yep, together with Aerosmith's I don't Want To Miss a thing , love that song too!).

And being melancholic, I remembered playing this song over and over again back in my rented serviced apartment in Sydney while waiting for the taxi to pick me up to the airport....ah the memories...it was the song that I shared with my best friend -arwah Badrul...may Allah have mercy on his soul.....

Anyway, this song is all about leaving, but at the same time the dread of leaving things behind...

And this is the situation I'm in now...I'm leaving Beverjalil Hills that I had fondly thought as my home, and will be heading to Jerantut, Ostolia Barat (haha! a little joke never hurts)...

Part of me welcomes this new adventure, but another part of me dreaded the move...I hope that this is just a temporary move, so far we still retain the house in Beverjalil Hills, but one can never be too sure....sedih huhu....sib baik la Kak Tek dah lamo blah dari Beverjalil Hills...tinggal la Tokeh Chick jadi presiden baru Kesatuan Penduduk BeverjalilHills...at this moment, I really really dreaded being trekontang kanting kesorangan tak dak port nak lepak, takdak kawan nak sesama buat ketupat.....huwaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

I will miss Beverjalil Hills...

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Perutku boroi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-12-15T17:13:00.002+08:00

Last week aku melihat arca ku di cermin...after 3 months of delivering Yusoff, and almost 9 months of having extended tummy during my 4th pregnancy.... I liked what I saw in the mirror....sambil2 tu, sempat gak aku baca mantera....

mirror mirror on the wall,
who's the fairest of them all?

Yeah. Guess who's face yang tertera kat ceromin tu...harharharrrr...sila la muntah...no hal....

Anyways.......it was a floor length mirror....I looked at my face (no changes there, I'm still gorgeous as before...yep, ini tempatnya utk muntah)..... then I moved my eyes downwards at the twin peaks, so to speak (yay, I love breastfeeding time! idok la flatscreen sangat kehkehkeh), then I looked further down, yeah I still liked what I saw...I've got dangerous curves (hahaha again, sila muntah di sini)..............and then, pandanganku bertembung dengan my middle-lower frontal area...........n at that, aku hampir histeria !!!!!!!!

Aku boroi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ohmygod ohmygod!!!!!!!!!!

My oh my....how did I ever let myself to be like that ????? oh depresi melanda diri...........

Hari ini, selepas seminggu in denial...aku menerima hakikat yang....aku boroi......perutku boroi dengan lemak degil lagi tepu yang bebas berkeliaran....huhuhu.......

So hari ni, aku start exercise...........I began with a simple 3 in 1 shots exercise regime....errrr aku tengok lam tibi jerr step tu...lam rancangan ala2 The Biggest Loser, versi Korea.....

3 in 1 or Triple one shots which comprises of stretching, cardio and muscle toning steps......

Verdict : Separuh nyawaku hilang....n aku baru buat 1 set of Triple One Shots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Habih sakit badan gue......

Time to get my comfort food....heh heh

Semalam Ku Bermimpi...Wet Dream Wa Cakap Lu!!!!!!

2010-12-06T14:57:00.002+08:00

Huh korang nih..mentang2 kat tajuk tu aku tulih tajuk wet dream, gelojoh jer korang kelik mouse korang...huh....takder makna nyerr aku nak share pasal wet dream aku kat korang, bak kata Datok CT, Biarlah Rohsie....ngeh ngeh ngeh...

Anyways....semalam memang aku ada bermimpi....baekkk punya mimpi...beshnyerrrrr....

ALkisahnya, aku mimpi pergi satu tempat ngan Teddy n Otomen2 aku....besa la mimpi, mula2 tempat tu macam blurred jer kan....pastu aku nak beli barang, tapi aku rasa kudukut nak pakai wit aku....and taraaaaaaaaaaaaa....

lam mimpi aku tu, Inchek Teddy ngan baekk ati nya cakap yg dia nak kasi wit kat aku....nahhhh segumpal duit dia kasi, all in RM50 n RM100 notes wa cakap luuuuu!!!! Ada la kat RM10K tu....10K wa cakap luuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!! Uols jangan jeles OK!

Then, aku pun mula la bernapsu ganas nak belanja wit tu.....tapi............huhuhu....lam mimpi tu tetiba aku dah ada kat Jasko....n the worst thing is, Jasko dah tutup............dah kul 10 malam !!!!!!!! menchiks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pastu aku terjaga....chaissss dah subuh ghoper nyer......lepas semayang subuh, aku sambung tido balik, dengan harapan leh sambung mimpi jadi orang kayoss bawak wit 10K supping kat Jasko...tapi hampagas cuma....mimpi antu ada lerrrr....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

tapi aku tetap bahgia sebab lam mimpi tu inchek Teddy dengan murah hatinya bagi wit sepoloh ribu hingget kat aku...sepuluh ribu ringget melezia wa cakap luuuu......laki uols ada buat camtuh ??? ngeh ngeh ngeh....sayyyanggg teddy....

sekian, citer wet dream yg tak berapa wet sebab aku tak sempat klimeks supping kat Jasko...huhu

Juicy!

2010-11-23T13:58:00.003+08:00

Imagine a nice, succulent, juicy steak sitting on a plate....

Imagine you popping that little piece of heaven into your mouth....

Imagine how the chewy, chewy meat and the juice from the steak and all the seasoning herbs mingled together, and creates an explosion of taste in your mouth, and you automatically close your eyes in order to intensify that heavenly taste in your mouth.......mmmmmmmmmm.....

This is my steak now....

Juicy...kan ???? heh heh

sekian entry pemaleh jugak (jangkit dari jiran bolognese ai)

A Scriptwriter In The Making ???

2010-11-11T09:07:00.002+08:00

Semalam, lepas balik dari Diwali holidays (cheh macam la aku pi holiday kat Las Vegas ke Hawaii ke heh heh), tengah2 aku nak tido ateh katil, tetiba aku terpandang sehelai kertas...aku baca ayat dia gini....KAU NI MEMANG TAK BERGUNE LANGSUNG, bla bla bla....huh apalagi, terus menyirap, mengOREN, meMILO darah manis aku...

aku tahu ni mesti kerja otomen sulung aku....so aku pun terus la guna suara sarjan hassan tengah PMS dan panggil dia mengadap....

Aku : Apa ni ?? ha ? apa yang awak tulis ni???
Otomen : ni abang tulis cerita otomen la Mama...
(pastu dia trus la baca apa yang dia tulis, siap ngan adegan bergaduh antara otomen ngan resakse lam dialog dia tuh)

owh...anakku sedang tulis skrip ghopernyerrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....oh siungguh giniyes anakku.....maklum la, ke mana tumpahnya kuah kalau tidak ke dalam pinggan kuah, kannnnnn???

p/s : aku tatau kenapa tetiba ada cam nama batik kat situ...dia teringat kat mak mentua dia yg kat amerika agaknya...heh heh

Kasih Beralih Arah...Saat Hilang Cintamu...

2010-11-05T13:21:00.006+08:00

Argh. Ke mana harus aku laungkan kekecewaan ini. Telah lama ku pendam duka ini...ia nya bersarang di dalam dada, menyumbat liang dan pori-pori di paru-paruku sehingga aku sesak tidak mampu bernafas. Bagaikan udara yang ku hidu hilang oksigennya, lalu aku terkapar-kapar kelemasan.............

Oh belangsukawa hatiku ini....bertinta duka sejuta warna......

Dia sudah beralih arah. Kasihnya kini bukan lagi padaku....

Dahulu, suatu waktu dahulu, aku lah pujaanya. Namun kini, segalanya sudah berubah. Dia tidak lagi memberi perhatian padaku....

Dan aku tahu siapa puncanya....dia yang berbaju kuning, dengan sepasang mata biru dan bulu mata yang melentik. Siapalah aku untuk bertanding dengan 'dia'.....

Lalu aku pasrah.......Redha menerima hakikat ini.....

Hakikatnya.....Otomen telah ditewaskan oleh Spongebob!

Aku telah ditewaskan.....

oleh dia !!!! uhukkkkkk......

kasih mereka kini sudah beralih arah.....ohhhhh....

sekian, sebuah tragedi pada hari deepavali.....kehkeh

Ah...Daku Teringin : Cerita 18SX

2010-10-05T16:03:00.006+08:00

Emmmm...Daku teringin...teringin untuk memenuhi tuntutan naluri asas...Rasa yang sekian lama ku pendam selepas melahirkan anak keempatku, 35 hari nan lalu...

Dan bagaikan benda terlarang yang lainnya, yang mana semakin dilarang, semakin enak dan eksotik rasanya...

ah....the glory of the forbidden taste...sinfully sweet...

Sudah beberapa hari aku menahan gelojak napsu yang membuak-buak ini. Semakin cuba ku kawal, makin tidak keruan aku jadinya...Bagaikan rasukan setan, perasaan teringin ini terus memburuku, dan aku bagaikan tidak mampu berlari lagi dari rasukan ini....oh kenapa ???

Lalu kuhitung hari...baru tiga puluh lima hari...belum cukup empat puluh hari....adakah aku cukup kuat untuk mengawal napsu ku ?? Tinggal lima hari sahaja, dan selepas itu aku bakal merdeka dari tempoh berpantang...kuatkan iman, astaghfirullahalazim !!!

Namun naluri nan satu itu terus memburuku, menghantuiku sehingga ke dalam mimpi ! Tidur malamku...ah....malam terasa begitu panjang, dan ranjang pembaringanku bagaikan dinyalai bara api ! (errr yang ni mungkin sebab aku pakai tilam thermal Zhulian ....panassss)...

AKu....resah....gelisah...tidak keruan aku jadinya....

emmmm...aku mahu....itu....

Aku mesti dapatkan....itu....

emmmmmmmmm....

Malam ini, bakal menjadi malam yang terindah.....akan ku tunaikan tuntutan naluri ini....

Walaupun aku mungkin melanggar tempoh berpantang, semua itu tidak ku hirau!

AH persetan dengan tempoh berpantang yang belum selesai...Yang pentingnya, aku harus melunaskan gelojak nafsu yang membara ini....

Inilah yang kumahu....

one bite of heavenly, sinfully rich, moist chocolate cake.....emmmmmmmmm...
Gosh I can just taste the luscious chocolate melting in my mouth...................oh paradise......
Secret Recipe, tunggulah kehadiranku !

Abih, korang hengat aku cakap pasai apa ????? Choiiiiii !!!!!!!!!

A Journal About Falling In Love

2010-09-22T17:51:00.008+08:00

Here's the truth. I'm fallin in love again.

Yeah. Truthfully, completely, head over heels in love.

It's the fourth time that I fell in love, the fourth time that I feel a love so deep and profound.

A love without condition, border-less, to infinity and beyond, to eternity...forever...

A love so beautiful, so meaningful....

First encounter with love:

Hafiz, @14th Feb 2003

Second love

Hakim, @ 2May 2005

Third encounter with love

Abdul Rahman, @17th August 2007
(note : aku baru prasan yg aku takde gambo baby CikMan...sorry!)

And my current squeeze:

Yusoff Solehuddin, @1st September 2010

I wonder what is it about newborn babies that call upon such a great, profound feelings of love and protection?

I mean, newborn babies don't do much, except sleep, poop, pee and breastfeed like there's no tomorrow. And yet you want to protect them with your own life. And even if they don't do much except cry, you still want to kiss their sweet, heavenly smell and gaze at them for hours on end, and make conversation with them with your silly baby-voice....

And even if you are deprived of your precious beauty sleep because the baby keeps you awake at night, you love them still, and smile sweetly at your little bundle of joy who wakes you up at 3am in the morning...

Sigh...

Enough with blogging...I want to gaze at my baby...

Psstt : Entry kali ini adalah bertujuan untuk men-'saiko' ahkakbatik, Puan Banana dan pembaca lain blog aku supaya jeles dan rendu dengan bau baby jugak, lalu tawun depan mereka juga bakal jadi mak buyung !!! heh heh

Ini Bukan Cerita Raya !!!!!!!

2010-09-08T13:18:00.005+08:00

Untuk tidak menghampakan jiran blog aku yang nunnn di kejauhan di North Carolina yang sedang fobia membaca cerita tentang raya, maka aku tidak sekali kali akan bercerita tentang topik raya.

Citer pasal rendang ka, nasi impit ka kuah kacang ka lomang ka laksa Johor ka lontong ka sate ka nasi dagang ka nasi istana ka......... ermmmmmmm alahai....sedapnya andai dapat ku menghirup kuah sate sambil mengunyah ngunyah sate yang lembut gebu penuh perisa rempah ratus sambil dikelilingi oleh kuih raya yang melimpah ruah dengan pelbagai nama omputeh seperti Almond Bar, Tiramisu Princess, Cheese Sticks (nota: tu sumer tu kuih raya yg aku order dan aku tengah sorok untuk mengelakkan hijack dari otomen)....oh alangkah enaknya...........emmmmmmm........bayangkan pulak saat itu aku sudah mampu berkebaya ketat untuk menyerlahkan pinggangku yang ramping dan perutku yang sudah flatscreen....oh bagaikan di syorga..............

Eh apa aku buat nih ???? Fokus !!!! Fokus !!!!!!!!! Ya ampun ahkakbatiks...maapkan aku yang sedang 8 hari berpantang dan selalu lupa seperti kata Che Dets....melayu memang mudah luposs....ya ampun !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mari kita bercakap tentang baby, memandangkan aku pun masih teringat memori indah waktu beranak 8 hari lalu....heh heh

Baby : Up Close And Personal
Nama masih belum diputuskan lagi. Finalised names :
Close contests between

Rayyan Solehuddin
or
Yusoff Solehuddin

Aku prefer nama Rayyan Solehuddin, tapi Teddy kata ado unsur2 omputeh...cheh, tetiba jadi alim warak pulok ! huh menyampah aku...penat2 aku peknen, separuh maut aku beranak, alih2 tang nama dia lak pegang kuasa veto!

So why Rayyan ? Why Solehuddin? Why Yusoff ?

Marilah kita sama2 menyelami minda ku dan menilai apa yang baik ekk...jom.....

Rayyan maksudnya kepuasan, pintu syurga untuk orang2 yg berpuasa.

Solehuddin - sempena nama pahlawan Islam Solehuddin Al-Ayubi (ala, kan aku ada buat entry pasal Solehuddin dulus)

Yusoff - sempena nama Nabi Yusoff a.s. selain dari tersebut sebagai seorang manusia yang mempunyai rupa paras yang indah menawan, Yusoff juga disebut dalam Al-Quran sebagai seorang pemimpin yang bijak. Kacak dan bijak lagi berkarisma, what more can I ask ?

Hurmmmm....lepas dipikir2......cam besh lak nama Yusoff Solehuddin ekk....

Ladies and Gentlemen....'Introducing...Yusoff Solehuddin !!!!

amacam...OK gak kan ?????

OK dah settle pasal nama baby....jom cerita pasal raya laks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ngeh ngeh ngeh.....

There And Back Again !

2010-09-06T20:16:00.003+08:00

Fuh. Lega. Dah selesai. Over n done with. Macam kata P Ramlee, dah lepas azab.....

Date : 1st September
Venue : Prince Court Hospital, Serdang (hahaha sejak bilo Prince Court pindah kat Serdang?)
Event : Beranak dengan penuh bergaya....heh heh
End Result : As Below

Apa lagi yang aku boleh katakan, selain bersyukur setinggi-tingginya pada Allah, kerana memudahkan segala urusan...syukur, syukur, syukur Ya Allah (ikut lagu Raihan OK!)....

So what happened that day ? Let me recall the chain of events.

Pagi tu aku bangun dengan penuh perasaan marvelous, like I'm on top of the world. Memandangkan dah hujung bulan, maka kena la replenish groceries stock. Dah 2 bulan, Teddy jer yg pi groceries shopping, tapi pagi 31 Ogos tu batinku meronta-ronta nak ikut jugak...sempat la jugak aku beli baju raya kat bebudak...

Then balik umah, aku baring jap...then masak...masuk daging lam oven, buat roast beef...pastu buat pudding, teringin sangat nak makan pudding...pastu buat kuah mi kari...kununnya lepas terawih aku nak makan mi kari....

Then ....aku angkat beg yg berisi barang groceries......n then..........oopssss I did it again....my water broke....halamak, masa tu kul 6 petang...so aku terus sound Teddy yg tengah main PS2...n so terus capai bag baby n kitorang berlima ngan otomen terus la pi spital Serdang......sempat gak aku call abang aku kat Bukit Beruntung...distress call kaedahnya...hehe....

Sampai kat spital aku terus pi kat observation/dewan bersalin...tung tang tung tang, kul 8 baru la Dr mai check, takpo lah...doktor pun nak bukak posa gak kan...aku pun tak sakit langsung, cuma basah lenjun la sebab air keluar non stop...bila check, baru 2 cm dilated...owhhh itu psl la tak sakit...so terus admitted ke ward....

By that time, bebudak dah balik umah, anak sedara aku yg belajo yg KLIUC tolong babysit...tapi aku still tak sakit ke hapa ke...by midnight aku suruh Teddy n abang aku n kakak ipar aku balik umah jer la....dah saspen, tapi aku maintain cool....

Then 4am, aku terjaga...ada rasa sakit sikit2....sayup2 jer sakit, tapi timing interval dia adalah dalam selang 15 minit....tunggu sampai kul 5, bila sakit dah 10 minutes apart, aku terus inform nurse, n yeah baby, it'ssssssssssss showtime !!!!!!!!!

Masuk labour room kul 5:30 am....then by 6:45 aku dah selamat deliver this gorgeous creature..........

muka ala2 korean...sebab aku duk tengok drama korea gamaknya...

Alhamdulillah, no complications, aku OK, baby OK....

Again, Thank You Allah...........

The Last Mile...Storms Ahead...

2010-08-05T22:28:00.003+08:00

So I guess this is it. The last mile, the last leg of my pregnancy terms. At 35 weeks, I have a few more weeks to go before the new baby arrives. It seems like I had ventured so far, the end is near, but there's still a mighty ocean that I must conquer. A very dangerous and treacherous water.

And I dubbed it, the Labor Ocean. Oh god, I shudder to think about this battle ahead. My past delivery experience was not easy, and I found myself having a mixed emotion on this. Part of me just want to go ahead and get this over and done with, and another part of me just want to delay this...sigh....

My motivations are - to hold the new baby safely in my arms, and to take care of my little heroes. So with that in mind, I psyche myself up for the great ocean ahead.

Looking back, this has not been an easy period in my life.

In terms of a sea voyage, this had been a very rough sail, right from the beginning. It started with the terrible morning sickness period, and once the early storm subsided, just when I thought that I would have a smooth sail, I encountered another kind of storm. An emotional storm, deadly in my vulnerable situation.

And it was a really terrible storm, a level 5 hurricane, so to speak. And it shattered the foundations of my ship. I was close to abandon the ship and be done with it, but I can't. I had other passengers aboard my ship. So I had to kick back, right at the eye of the storm. And I did that, and the storm passed. For the time being, at least.

And there will be many, many storms ahead, that I can be sure of. I just hope and pray that I
would have enough strength to kick back those storms, right smack at the balls this time...ouch...

yeah baby!

Battle of Rome...or is it ?

2010-07-31T17:46:00.007+08:00

Triggered by my Braxton-Hicks contractions, which brought me back down to earth after I flew high like a kite, courtesy of my chocolate cravings episode, I started to work out my plans for the inevitable baby delivery process.

And believe me, this process equals the planning of a great war, the one that I hope that I would win, hands down. And guess what is the big prize ? Yeah, my own bundle of joy ! Gosh, maybe this is what the Emperor of Rome felt each time he sent off his mighty general on those conquests for lands and glory....

So with that in mind, I sorted out my plans. Just like a great Roman general, Julius Ceasar, perhaps....planning on the conquest or a campaign, I laid down my plans....

Julius Caesar
Museo della Civilta
Rome

But hey, I should had really embraced the spirit of Solehudin Al-Ayubi, working out his plan to recapture Palestine from the Crusaders in the Battle of Hatin....and come to think about it, I really really admire Solehuddin, or Saladdin as the westerns pronounce it......

Statue of Saladdin in Damascus

Yeah, cross out JC, welcome Saladdin!!!!!!

But.........Argh...just the thought of labor brings shiver down my spine. But I can't avoid this anymore. Need to work out my best-laid plan. Here's the items :-

1./ Baby clothing/paraphernalia, like baby cots/towels/napkins etc etc
Status - checked, post completed, except for baby strollers/baby car seat; (Hints:gifts are welcomed hahaha)
Note : This is the fun part. I love the baby cloth huntings...those cute baby cloth...and did I mention about the BABY GIRLS clothings? oh gosh I am very very tempted to buy that cute pink dress, but since my 3 sonograms reveal penis, so I had to refrain myself from making that purchase........sigh........yep, this is boy number four coming right up....

2./ My own post-partum necessities
Ubat - checked, ordered from my friend, awaiting delivery. I opted to use Amway's Tropical Herbs Post Natal Care Set . Had used it before, and I simply loved this product.
Note : I always cheated on ubat...hehehe...this time around, I hope that I will finish all the ubat on course...no more ponteng makan ubat OK!
Urut - Had booked from a makcik here. The only problem is that my due date will be on hari raya, so I might had to wait for one week before urut....sigh...well, can't do anything about that...
Note : I loved being pampered and massaged......looking forward to this!
Tungku & Barut : Checked, the barut/bengkung comes with the Amway set, and I bought an electric tungku....
Note : This is a MUST in my post natal care regime. I normally didn't really follow a strict diet/berpantang regime (makan, ai bantai apa yang ai rasa nak makan, n after 2 weeks of delivery ai dah keluar rumah, naughty eh??), but barut and tungku is a must, at least for the first 3 weeks.

3./ My otomen
- Oh gosh, here's the worrying factor (apart from my own labor). The other day, after Teddy went out for work, and I was watching TV with my adorable boys, I simply blurted this out to them...

Me : Boys...nanti mama bersalin, mama kena duduk hospital tau, and then mama balik bawak baby (using a happy tone) Boys : Nooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nak ikut ! mama don't go to hospital.....no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and then all of them end up crying on my lap and hugging me......and I end up crying too.....sigh....

Oh gosh...this is not my first delivery, it's my forth time, for crying out loud! But this time it's different. Before this, I normally gave birth at my kampung, and I don't have to worry about my boys while I was in the hospital. But this time, nay...we would be on our own...it will be just me, Teddy, the boys and my new baby...it's going to be tough, but I pray that Allah would ease everything for us.........

and I wonder if the great generals ever cried with this touchy issue................

Having A Braxton

2010-07-29T17:43:00.008+08:00

Recently I am always having a Braxton.

Nope...I'm not talking about Tony Braxton although I must state here that I love Tony Braxton's songs...well, this had opened up a floodgate to my own memory lane...let me see....I remembered Tony's hits - Un-break My Heart, How Could An Angel Break My Heart...etc etc

Gosh those were my heartbreak songs,back when I was young and innocent...

I remembered how I used to play those songs over and over again, and crying myself to sleep over that sorry excuse of a guy! Talk about being young and dumb and clueless...sigh....

And Ms Braxton got such a beautiful voice, and a crazy, sexy beautiful body that she flaunts freely..........

Damn, she's got a beautiful bod....maybe I should put a rating to my blog....oh la la....

Whoops. There I go again, cakap keluar tajuk, dah sampai ke Laut Artik.....sorry, boys n girls!!!!

Now let's get back to topic. It seems that I'm always having a Braxton now. For the ignoramus, I'm talking about THE Braxton Hicks contraction. Here's something from Wiki...

Braxton Hicks contractions, also known as false labor or practice contractions are sporadic uterine contractions that usually start around 6 weeks however are not usually felt until the second trimester or third trimester of pregnancy.^[1]

So every now and then, I would feel this sharp cramp in my tummy.

And although I am still high like a kite with my chocolate addiction, this Braxton Hicks contractions bring me back to earth. It is like a big, giant warning to me. A red alert, so to speak. And hell, I respected that alert. It is boss...

And it took me down my memory lane of labor rooms and labor pains and I started to panic that I forgot how to breathe............gasp...aku kurang oksigen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And so I reached down for another bite of Snickers, Kit Kat, Cadburry's, Cloud 9 and my other chocolate friends to comfort me...sigh....

Memoir Untuk Ary : Rest In Peace.....sob...sob.....

2010-07-27T09:38:00.003+08:00

Hari ini aku tulis entry dalam bahasa ibunda aku...Kerana aku sedang menjalani tempoh berkabung 40 hari......

Ya...berkabung atas kehilangan Ary...bukan Ari Wibowo...tapi Pengeran Putera Arowana Mudzaffar Shah...iaitu arowana peliharaan Teddy........

Aku pun tak pasti macam mana Ary boleh mati tiba-tiba...sudden death case la ni...dan aku memang telah berhempas pulas cuba menyelamatkan Ary...sumpah ! Aku cuba tukar air akuarium tu, namun Ary menghembuskan napas terakhirnya pada saat yang penuh kritikal itu...maybe aku patut buat CPR kat Ary....huhuhuhu..................

owh ARy....kenapa kau pergi sekarang ???? kenapa ??????? why ?????
aku bersedih meratap pilu atas pemergianmu..................

well....the truth is....aku bukan sedih sangat atas pemergian Ary.....tapi akusedih sebab aku tahu lepas ni mesti Teddy akan beli ikang lain.............................

dan bersama itu............musnahlah impian golang omeh kerawang yg aku dah intai kat Poh Kong semalam !!!!!!!!!!! (cue gambo pompuan jelita tengah histeria nangeh !...aku la tu)

owh Ary..............ko musnahkan impianku............................

Ary dalam kenangan...kau pergi dengan membawa impian golang omeh kerawangku.....

Confession : I'm Having An Affair

2010-07-15T04:46:00.000+08:00

Yes. I am having an affair. A lusty, full of secrets love affair. Well, actually I am rekindling my long lost affair with my old flame...

My first meaningful encounter was in my teenage years.

And I remembered every moments like it was just yesterday...

I remembered the first time I encountered C (yes, for reason of anonymity, let's just call it C)....The first time I touched C.....sigh....it was ectasy....it was soooooo deeply satisfying, it was everything that I expected it to be, and I was simply hooked to C after that. Addicted, hooked, enslaved....

And back then, I know C is bad for me, but I just couldn't help it. It was like a forbidden love, yet it was so exciting ! But as I grew older, I learned to control my desire, and so I kicked C out of my life, although not completely. Once in a while, I still bow down to my desire, and rekindle my romance with C.

As now...sigh...

C came back into my life with a vangeance, making every lost moment count. And I was helpless, powerless to fight C's magnetism, so once again I let myself to be swept off my feet and let C satisfy my basic desire....

Ummmmmmmmmmm...C is still marvelous. One forbidden bite again, and I am deeply satisfied. It is a lustful feeling. I love C and I simply must have C everyday...yes, as we say it in Malay, hari-hari mau!!!!!!!!

I simply love the dark, velvety sensation of C in my mouth. Feels like heaven! Oh yes, yes yes !!!!

And my husband Teddy knows about my fling with C, and he doesn't mind it at all.......

Why should he mind ? We are soooo open what....

After all, C is my lusty love affair with Mr Chocolate!!!!

Again, I blame my pregnancy hormone for awakening my long asleep cravings for chocolate....

OK, I gotta go....gotta to rekindle my lusty affair with chocolate....

Babe, You Take My Breath Away...

2010-06-21T18:16:00.008+08:00

Nowadays, I am always breathless. Someone is sure to take my breath away. Lots and lots of breath and I am not even asthmatic to begin with.

But here's the punch line, the person responsible to cause me to be breathless all the time is a temporary resident inside my womb. Yep baby, you are the culprit!

I am now entering the dreaded third trimester of pregnancy. This is when I would be transformed into a heavy truck, the kind that is filled up to the ceilings with loads. My friend Adrian used to call me Penguin when I was in my third trimester with my first pregnancy. He said that I grow bigger (what he meant was my tummy grew bigger OK!), my style of walk resembles how a penguin walk. And I sweetly told him that yeah, vice versa Ade! (gosh I hope that he is not reading this haha)

Well picture this. When I stand up straight and when I look down below, I can't see my own feet, even if I tried to suck my breath to tuck in my tummy ! Oh I tried to cheat by peeping over the big mound of my tummy, but still, no sign of my own two feet. The only way I can see them is by leaning forward, and that, is indeed a wrong move to make. You see, like a heavy truck, my center of gravity had shifted somewhere else, and I am very very prone to lost my balance and toppled over ! Sigh....

And when I lie down to sleep, I mean lying straight on my back, I would be breathless. Yep you guess it right, my big tummy will press against my lungs, and cause me to be breathless.

I would be breathless after dinner, lunch and breakfast (hey I AM eating for two OK!). I would be breathless after I climb the stairs. Heck, I am breathless just by sitting in front of my laptop and surfing the net (which I do, like 23 hours in a day!) haha...

And don't let me start with my bellybutton...sigh..I had always been an innie all of my life...and now, suddenly, my bellybutton is inside out !!!!!!!!!!!! sigh.......

Note : This is not my bellybutton, but it sure is close haha

but wait.........am I complaining ?

Heck no !!! I am enjoying every second of my pregnancy !!!!!

Yeah right babe.........

Epilog Sepi si Perindu

2010-06-16T08:44:00.006+08:00

Epilog Sepi Si Perindu

Sayang,
Jiwaku resah diulit selautan rindu
Hatiku rawan dicuit segunung kasih

senyummu
tawamu
bicaramu
kamu

aku rindu kamu

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

aku terpana
kucari dikau
namun kau tiada disisi
lalu aku meratapi ketiadaanmu

sungguh aku sepi tanpamu
lalu aku melakar sketsa rindu ini
sebagai satu manifestasi
rindu pada diri mu.............

ha amacam.........besh tak sajak kat ateh tu ? aku buat sendiri tu tawwwwwwwww....spontan jer....huh aku layan jiwang....jiwang karat lak tu .....

so apasal tetiba aku layan jiwang ? aku nak masuk deklamasi sajak ke ? nak anto ke majalah ke ? masuk peraduan ke ? untuk buku baru ke ? dedikasi kat Teddy ke ?????

oh tidak tidak..................

sajak tu aku buat sebab aku rindu tahap gaban dengan otomen sulung aku yang masih kat kampung, kat umah Opah dia.................

aku call henpon Opah dia 3-4 kali sehari sebab nak dengo suara dia....aku rasa Opah dia merangkap ibu mertua aku pun mesti menyesal suh tinggalkan otomen dengan dia masa cuti sekolah ni sebab aku asik2 tepon jerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr hahaha

abih nak buat camano..................I'm just a mother...................

come back baby
come back safely to me...............

dah buat lagi dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

(alah OK lagi dari gambo posting kangkung belacan made in USA, ikang bilis siam beli kat Tulsa hahaha)

Nota : gambo kat ateh tu adalah satu cilokan semata mata...
photo credits to: pdphoto.org

Caught !

2010-06-10T13:26:00.004+08:00

OK lah, entri kali ni aku cakap Melayu la puloks...kang ada yang hengat aku lagi ngengada feeling ahmerikans, over lak dari jeran blog aku yang dah pindah duk Tulsa tuh....

Alkisahnya...udah dua purnama rumah aku ditumpangi oleh seekor makhluk halus. Ini seriyes! (tang ni ikut versi Wonderpets OK). Makhluk ni kecil, bergigi taring dengan kuku yang tajam lagi hitam. Muncungnya panjang, badannya halus dan ekornya jugak panjang. Ha! korang dah seram bulu ketiak ? So apakah spesies mahkluk halus ini ?

Adakah ia jenglot ? Toyol ?antu raya ? Jerangkung dalam lemari ? atau spesies antu omputeh (memandangkan aku suka nengok citer omputeh) seperti vampire ? poltergeist ? atau Ju-On iaitu antu Korea ???? Apa ????

hoh...napas korang dah laju dah...takut la tuh...hek ellehh...kalau pasal citer antu.....

anyways................

Makhluk halus yang menumpang kat umah aku tu tiada lam senarai kat atas. Sebab apa ....

Sebab yang tompang umah aku tu ialah bernama CTK.

Apa ? Ada kena mengena dengan Datok CT dan Datok K dak ?? errrr....dak aihhh...

CTK tu ialah singkatan untuk CT Kus lah............ heh heh

so dah 2 bulan CTK duk tompang kat umah aku. Aku declare war sebab dia dah siap beranak kat kabinet tibi umah aku....eeuuwwwwwww....gross...........

So dah 2 malam aku pasang mousetrap....malam pertama, umpan dia makan, tapi tak kena tangkap....choiiii....

so aku bising2 kat Teddy, suh dia beli racun tikuih...aku dah tak tahan...kang anak dia berlari berkejaran ngan aku lak kang.........Balik keje Teddy kasi aku 2 tin kecik....mouse glue...hadoiiiii.........takmo kasi racun kunun....ellehhhhh....takut aku racun dia la tuh hahaha....

Anyway, semalam anak CTK dah masuk perangkap.....alahai.........bila dah kena tangkap aku tatau nak buat apa lak....nak bantai tak sampai ati...nak jirus air panas, ish kejam lak rasa....aku nak buat cam kaktek buat....jemo kat tengah paneh sampai mampoih, tapi Teddy tak kasi...kijam katanya.......ellehhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................ko lagi kijam padaku Teddy !!!! hetyu! errr fokusssss..........

so anak CTK tu masih terperangkap lam trap tu...takdak penyelesaian jugak pada masalah CTK neh................

so baik aku layan citer romen lagi....hohoho

Wind Beneath My Wings

2010-06-09T18:33:00.006+08:00

oh I am soooo easily moved to tears nowadays. You can sneak behind my back and say BOO!, and I would be reduced to tears...

Like earlier today, for instance, HBO was playing Ever After:A Cinderella Story, and I used my veto power againts my boys and threaten them that there would be no lunch if they didn't allow me to watch that movie ...and my threat worked just fine, and so I watch the movie (again ??!!!!), and I got teary eyed and I sobbed gently when Cinderalla faced some down time in winning the Prince's heart......Gosh, I even cried when they were finally together, ever after.....

sigh.....I know it sound sooooo cheesy, but I just couldn't help it...

Maybe it's the pregnancy hormone, or some other things that made me soooo emotionally hung up now...(hint: yes, it's the other things, the pregnancy hormone excuse was just a smokescreen hohoho)

Anyway............

Here's another song that has that tear-gas effect on me.......I especially love Bette Midler's version........

Notakaki :
This is a song that I will always attribute to my parents (May Allah rest their souls), and now, it's a song that reminds me of my boys.......

"Wind Beneath My Wings"

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

OK now I want to crawl back into my cave, and brood.........yeah, I'm a cave woman after all....lol!

Killing Me Softly

2010-05-31T13:32:00.002+08:00

I just love the song, especially the title. Somehow, it is so poetic and sinister at the same time, to be able to say words like that in one sentence.

KILLING ME SOFTLY. Hmmmm....

So romantic (?) and scarry and gruesome.

Just like Shakespeare's dramas....

Yeah, what could be more poetic and sinister than that ?

Enjoy this. And I happened to love The Fugees remix than the original version.

Yeah, so shoot me and end my misery.

To Sir, With Love

2010-05-17T12:59:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was May 16th. In Malaysia, May 16th is gazetted as the Teachers' Day. Here's some fact about why 16th May was chosen to celebrate all teachers in Malaysia. I got this from my best friend, Mr Wiki (yeah, where else ?)

This date was chosen because on the same day in 1956, the Federal Legislative Council of the Federation of Malaya endorsed the Razak Report, one of four reports of the Education Committee regarding education in Malaysia. The document, known as the Razak Report after Tun Abdul Razak who was Education Minister at the time, became the basis of education in Malaysia ever since. Although it is not an official school holiday, celebrations are usually held on May 16, or earlier, if it falls on a Saturday or Sunday.

Remember that information. You might need that say, if you are stuck with a RM1 million question if you enter the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire question, or whatever.

So now you know it. See, my blog is very informative, entertaining and witty all in one ! Yeah, you are free to puke and vomit. Just don't do it on your laptops. I won't be held responsible for that poor accident.

Now back to topic, please. It's about Teachers' Day. And talking about that, well, no words are enough to convey the gratitude that I have for all of my teachers who had entered my poor, insignificant life. And I got misty eyed and blurred visions and congested nose. Heck, no, I'm not down with the flu! (rolls eyes)

To all the teachers out there, this song is for you.

To Sir, With Love
Those schoolgirl days
Of telling tales and biting nails are gone
But in my mind
I know that they will still live on and on
But how do you thank someone
Who has taken you from crayons to perfume
It isn't easy, but I'll try

If you wanted the sky, I would write across the sky in letters
That would soar a thousand feet high
To Sir, with love

The time has come
For closing books and long last looks must end
And as I leave
I know that I am leaving my best friend
A friend who taught me right from wrong
And weak from strong, that's a lot to learn
What, what can I give you in return

If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start
But I would rather you let me give my heart
To Sir, with love

If you wanted the world, I'd surround it with a wall, I'd scrawl
These words with letters ten feet tall
To Sir, with love

And this is a special dedication to my former English teacher, Mr Amri Abdullah...thank you sir....

p/s: hari ini aku layan mood jiwang....

Spesel Edisyeng : A Tribute To AhkakBatiks....

2010-05-12T14:39:00.002+08:00

Ni aku nak habaq mai...aku baru jer balik dari kampung Teddy kat Ostolia nuunnn...errr sekadar pengetahuan am ekk, kampung Teddy di Ostolia tu bernama Jerantut...Aborigines pun ramai kat sanun heh heh....miker cari la Jerantut kat peta Ostolia nuh ekk.....

Anyway, ni baru sampai dari Ostolia tu lerrr...sampai2 aku terus terkam laptop, klik kat blog aku untuk hasilkan nukilan tribute ini....sebabnya...tadi aku tengok kalendar, dan aku baru perasan yg hari ni dah doblas haribulan....ertinya...maknanya....natijahnya....aku cuma ada kurang dari 2 minggu untuk beramas mesra dengan jeranku yang kurang vogeh sikit dari aku tu...sekonyong-konyong....aku terus dirasuk kepiluan yang mendalam lagi mencengkam kalbu...huhuhu....(errr lam hati ai pun ada taman jugok tawwww)

Ramai gak member2 aku yang tertanya2....siapakah gerangan ahkakbatik ini ? Adakah dia wanita vogeh ? Jelita ? Berketrampilan ? Berkarisma ? Anggun bergaya ? Bijak pandai ? Berhati molia ? Jawapangku...ya...semua kenyataan di atas adalah benar....tiada apa selain benar...tapi of course lah aku lagi vogeh dari dia...lagi jelita, lagi anggun, bijak pandai etc etc....heh heh ini blog ai OK, so selaku moderator dan admin blog ini maka ai boleh jer buat stetmen penuh perasaan dan syok sendiri sebegitu...heh heh

Dan ramai jugak yang tertanya-tanya (errr ramai ke ??? hahaha)...camana aku leh kenal dengan ahkakbatik ? Hosmet lama ke ? Member masa kat U ke ? Kawan tempat kerja lama ke ? Room mate masa kat Pusat Serenti ke ? (choiiii aku manader pernah masuk pusat serenti!)...Dan kali ini...jawapangku....Tidak....no....nein...nehi....Ku kenali dia melalui hasil diskusi intelek tahap tinggi di salah sebuah forum high end (hahaha). Senang cerita, aku kenal ngan dia melalui internet lerrr...penat2 duk bergaduh kat porum...tetiba dapat tahu yg aku dengan dia sebenonya duduk dekat2....heh heh....so lepas tu terus la jumpa...lepas jumpa leh ngam pulok.....

Dan dia pun banyak gak tolong aku...esp dalam bab menyupir nih....pastu kadang2 bila tenet mampoih kat umah aku pong aku tanpa segan silu pi bertenet kat saiber kafe dia.....tenkiu ahkakbatik...jasamu dikenang.....bab menganyam ketupat tuk sah citer la....penuh berseni sungguh hasil anyaman ketupat kami heh heh.....

Pastu anak2 aku pun leh ngam ngan anak2 dia (heh heh aku masih hingin nak berbesan dengan ko Batik...hengat...aku tak penah nak offer set kundan utk ko....setakat buah kundang tu no hal lah)...setakat pi sepahkan umah dia tu, anak2 aku sambil pejam mata jer boleh buat....heh heh....

Maka aku titipkan nukilan ini sebagai satu bentuk dan bukti perlambangan penghargaan dan tributasi kepada beliau...lepas ni, lepas 26 May ni...ahkakbatik akan terbang ke Amareka Sharekat....menemani suaminya mencari rejeki...maka aku terkontang kanting lah di sini.......owh shahdunya ku rasakan.........tiada lagi sesi makan2 sambil menganyam ketupat...

Ku doakan agar ahkakbatik sekelorga akan sentiasa dilindungi Allah walau di mana mereka berada....dan moga berjaya.....

(hu hu aku dah terlalu sebak nih....aku kena stop kat sini sebab nak sedut hinguih....srotttttt srotttttt)

Labor Day, 2005

2010-05-04T22:12:00.005+08:00

Kali ni aku nak bercerita tentang Labor Day. Umumnya kita tahu yang Labor Day, atau sambutan hari pekerja adalah satu hari cuti kepada semua pekerja di seantero donia, yang merupakan satu perkara yg dicetuskan oleh pergerakan kesatuan pekerja/labor's union untuk meraikan pencapaian ekonomi dan sosial para pekerja.

Selain dari nama komersialnya iaitu Labor Day, atau Labour Day, ianya juga turut dikenali sebagai May Day. Dan biasanya ia disambut pada setiap 1 May.

So apa signifikan nya Labor Day dengan aku ? Kut dulu2 iyelah, aku kan pekerja cemerlang...sekarang ni aku dah naik taraf jadi profesional homemaker, so aku dah takde kaitan dengan nama buruh2 nih (heh heh stetment berlagak tahap dewa)....

Tapi ada signifikannya....

Pada tahun 2005....sehari selepas Labor Day...aku masuk labor room...ketuban pecah kol 9, pastu terus pi spital private, selang sebelah jer dari umah aku, tapi still pegi naik keta la...masuk bilik, doktor kata dah 6 cm dilated, so terus masuk Labor room...n selamat bersalin kul 11 malam....easy weasy...almost touch n go....

Here's my prize....

Ladies and gentlemen....intoducing Mr Aiman Hakim...

at 3.4kg baby boy !!!! yay !!!!

Sleeping like an angel....

at 11 months

Hakim turned 5 years old on 2nd May 2010...

Happy Birthday, my dear prince...and many happy returns......

Salam Taj Mahal...

2010-05-03T22:33:00.004+08:00

Mubarak ho...

Kali ini aku membawa salam dari Taj Mahal. Di bumi kelahiran Shah Jehan, yang memanifestasikan agung cintanya pada Mumtaz, dengan pembinaan Taj Mahal. Seseungguhnya, inilah perlambangan agungnya cinta seorang suami pada isterinya....

Dan Taj Mahal juga menyaksikan perlambangan cinta agung antara aku dan Teddy....berada di Taj Mahal, kami sama2 menobatkan cinta kami...sesuci embun pagi, sehangat mentari....

heh heh...leh caya ke aku ada kat Taj Mahal????

I'm trolling you, dudes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The truth is, umah aku takdak koneksi internet dari minggu lepas. Punyalah boring duk kat umah tanpa internet, aku rasa macam duk kat Uganda lak. Itu lah, sejujurnya, aku nak buat tajuk entry aku as Salam Dari Uganda...errr tapi bila pikir2 macam tak komer-sial lak nama Uganda tu kannn....heh heh so aku cepat2 tukau, jadi Taj Mahal...ada unsur2 romantism skit heh heh...

So kenapa umah aku tiada koneksi internet ? Huh...sebab Teddy la...hari Selasa lepas, aku dah perasan yg internet mampoih. Berhempas pulas aku troubleshoot problem. Siap bypass 3G wireless router, n connect direct ke laptop comel aku nih, tapi sama gak...pastu godek laptop lak, takut2 la wireless card dia kaput ka hapa ka...arghhh macam2 la aku buat...tapi hasilnya sama gak. Akub try gak nak tompang wireless jeran2 aku...bila scan wireless connection, macam2 namo ada....tanpa segan silu aku try la tompang.....tapi .....huh hampeshhhh...depa enable security...so aku takleh jadi penumpang tenet secara haram !!! choi kudukut punya jeran !!!!!!!

Bila Teddy balik, aku tanya la dia...in case la kut2 ada bil tertunggak ke hapa ke...ek elehhhh...dengan konpidennya dia kata tadak tunggakan...bil dia dah bayo awal!

Hari Rabu sama gak, still takleh....so aku pi lepak umah jeran....Hari Khomis aku dah tunjuk2 moncong2 kat Teddy...dia kata OK lah nanti dia check....dia troubleshoot...sama gak resultnya...pastu aku call meksis...huh...depa kata ada outstanding bill 70 hingget ! choiiiii....hengatkan tujuh ratus ko !

Aku pun bantai Teddy. Menchik ai! Sib baik aku lom sempat maki orang meksis lagi...dia lak duk konpiden dah bayo....ari tu dia buat online payment sekaligus ngan bil air, letrik etc etc katanya...
aku rasa dia ter overlooked nak bayo bil broadband nehhh...iyolah bayo banyak2 bil sekaligus...kut2 ado la yg tertinggal gamaknya....

anyway....setelah aku tarik muka patbelas....so dia pun bayo la...bayo hari Jemahat...hari sabtu coti, labour day...hari Ahad lak weekend.....hari ni baru la OK......sigh...............wasted 2 hari lagi aku stranded di uganda...hampeh....

Dari last week, aku terpaksa main Freecell ngan solitaire untuk mengubat kebosanan...pastu tengok tibi...itu pun aku terpaksa berhempas pulas bergaduh ngan CikMan utk rebut hak ekslusif tengok citer aku...kalau aku malas gaduh, aku layan la tengok Special Agent Oso, Shaun The Sheep, Handy Manny dan macam2 lagi la citer kat Playhouse Disney....warghhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, bye-bye Freecell game, bye-bye Oso, Pocoyo etc etc.....

I came back from Uganda, and it sure feels good !

Mari Bernasyid!!!!!

2010-04-09T18:46:00.003+08:00

Untuk entri kali ini aku nak ajak korang layan nasyid. Jangan asik2 nak hip hop la rock kapak la blues la....ha yang suka nengok So You Think You Can Dance tu pun insap lah weihhhhhhhhhhh !!!! Takde pekdah...benda lagha sumer tuhhhh....(hahaha aku nampak Kak Tek menghembus napas dengan geram) hehehe....jangan mare....

Rilek...meh kita layan nasyid. Ready ? OK, berbaris, buat dua barisan. Kedua-dua tangan di hadapan badan, sekitar area perut (psst, perut tu jangan lupa tuck in OK!), genggam kedua tangan anda, tangan kanan di atas tangan kiri, dan posisikan kedua tangan di bahagian sebelah kiri perut. Dah siap ? OK...and one, and two, and one two three four!

Sepohon Kayu (Saujana)

1
Sepohon kayu daunnya rimbun
Lebat bunganya serta buahnya
Walaupun hidup seribu tahun
Kalau tak sembahyang apa gunanya
Walaupun hidup seribu tahun
Kalau tak sembahyang apa gunanya

Kami berkerja sehari-hari
Untuk belanja rumah sendiri
Supaya Allah menjadi sayang
Kami berkerja hatilah riang
Supaya Allah menjadi sayang
Kami berkerja hatilah riang

( ulang 1 )

Kami sembahyang fardhu sembahyang
Sunat pun ada bukan sebarang
Hidup di kubur yatim piatu
Tinggallah seorang dipukul dipalu
Hidup di kubur yatim piatu
Tinggallah seorang dipukul dipalu

( ulang 1 )

Dipukul dipalu sehari-hari
Barulah ia sedarkan diri
Hidup di dunia tiada bererti
Akhirat di sana sangatlah rugi
Hidup di dunia tiada bererti
Akhirat di sana sangatlah rugi

( ulang 1 )

So kenapa aku ghairah nak bernasyid nih ? Nak buat group nasyid kaum ibu ke ? Tidak. Group nasyid kaum bapa ? Huh, bukan jugak.

Sebenonye, aku tengah ajar anak aku semayang...hehehe sepatutnya sebelum masuk umur 7 tahun dah ajar, tapi aku pun lupa lah...bizi ngan tenet....

But kata omputeh, better late than never...ala, Hafiz pun baru 7 tahun 2 bulan.....aku dulu pun darjah 3 kut baru la stat semayang.....heh heh...

So sekarang Hafiz giat belajo baca Fatihah etc etc...masa mula2 baca Ya Rabbi...kerasnya lidah dia!!!!!!!! Al-maklumlah, dia belajar Iqra 3, lom masuk surah...Iqra' ni pulak berbeza dari Muqaddam....Iqra' nak mantapkan dari segi bacaan dan ejaan, biar pelajar betul2 paham esp tang panjang/pendek sebutan, so lambat la sikit...

Aku dulu belajo Muqaddam, tang mengeja tu kejap jer...pastu terus baca...tapi panjang/pendek tu hentam ajer la...bila dah lama baru la paham...

Itu belum masuk bab tajwid, idgham, wakaf etc etc...

Errrrr bab tu korang jangan tanya aku la weihhhh...

My 7 year old took LINUX test ??? wow

2010-03-30T13:09:00.006+08:00

My eldest otomen came back from school yesterday with his test results. Here's the score:-

Mathematics : 78%
BM Penulisan : 80%
BM Kefahaman : 63%
Agama Islam : 65% (euuwww, malu!)

The rest of the results are yet to be known. Well, he is just 7 years old, and it was just a monthly test, so I shrugged off the results. OK per...not like he is taking UPSR or whatever...

Wait a minute. Below the test results, there's a letter from school. So I read that letter, uninterestedly at first, but when I read through the whole letter, it felt like I had a heart attack. The letter is telling me that my otomen will be transfered to another class, as he did not pass the LINUS saringan test.

And I was like, wtf, LINUX ? Why in the world should a seven year old took a LINUX test ? Oh, for the ignoramus, LINUX is a UNIX-like operating system, which was developed thanks to the open source system. Difficulty level in LINUX ? Like cracking your heads against the wall -lah. That's how difficult Linux is. So why did my seven year old boy took a Linux test ?

Whoops...it's not Linux lohhhhh...it's Linus. Aiyyah...my eyes....

And what does Linus stands for ? It's the elegant Literasi & Numerasi test. Owh. But I still don't know head or tails about Linus. So I asked my best friend Mr G. When I typed LINUS, Mr G gave me 9,020,000 hits. The first page is mostly about Linus Torvalds, a Finnish software engineer, who is by the way, the very person who initiated the Linux kernel, and from which the Linux name in IT world was coined from.

But I persevered, and after a few pages, I stumbled across Linus program as introduced by Malaysian Ministry of Education, which kicks of in year 2010. Oh wow, it has just begun. I had also stumbled across some blogs, most of which are angry parents whose children was unlucky enough to not pass the Linus test, and be forced to join the rehab class. Oh yes, it's a rehab class for those kids who didn't pass the Linus test. In bahasa, it's the dreaded kelas pemulihan.

And again, I muttered some expletives. Kelas Pemulihan ? WTF ? My boy can read, spell and do simple maths, he is just in standard one, and it is just March for crying out loud, why should he enter kelas pemulihan ? And so I researched some more. Here's what I found about Linus.

Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia (KPM) ingin merujuk kepada SMS “BUNGAJAMBUL:BHA19471” dalam ruangan SMS dalam akhbar Berita Harian bertarikh 25 Februari 2010 – ‘Pengenalan Program Linus dalam Tahun Satu hanya akan menjadikan kurikulum tahun satu semakin bercelaru’.

Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia mengucapkan ribuan terima kasih atas keprihatinan tuan tentang pelaksanaan program Literasi dan Numerasi (LINUS) Tahun Satu. Program LINUS merupakan salah satu daripada National Key Result Area (NKRA’s) Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia. Melalui program ini, kementerian telah menyasarkan bahawa semua murid yang tiada masalah pembelajaran berupaya menguasai kemahiran membaca, menulis dan mengira selepas mengikuti pendidikan tiga tahun di peringkat rendah pada akhir tahun 2012.

Program ini dilaksanakan pada tahun 2010, melibatkan murid Tahun Satu di sekolah rendah yang merupakan kohort pertama mengikuti program ini. Semua murid Tahun Satu akan menduduki ujian LINUS Saringan 1 pada awal tahun untuk menilai tahap penguasaan kemahiran asas literasi dan numerasi mereka. Murid yang dikenal pasti masih belum mencapai kemahiran asas literasi dan numerasi, akan diasingkan daripada murid arus perdana (dalam kumpulan tidak melebihi 30 orang). Mereka akan diajar insentif oleh guru LINUS (guru Bahasa Malaysia dan guru Matematik Tahap 1) serta dibantu oleh guru pemulihan khas LINUS dan dilaksanakan dalam waktu Bahasa Malaysia dan waktu Matematik mengikut peruntukan waktu sedia ada. Murid yang berjaya dipulihkan melalui program ini, akan meneruskan pembelajaran di aliran perdana.

Pihak Kementerian Pelajaran telah merancang beberapa strategi untuk memastikan program LINUS ini dilaksanakan dengan baik dan tidak membebankan pihak sekolah. Antaranya memberi latihan khusus kepada guru LINUS dalam teknik pemulihan dan bimbingan untuk membantu murid yang mempunyai masalah literasi dan numerasi, menyediakan modul pengajaran dan pembelajaran asas literasi dan numerasi yang sesuai dengan tahap kebolehan murid, penambahan guru pemulihan khas, melaksanakan program kesedaran tentang pentingnya asas membaca, menulis dan mengira dalam kalangan warga sekolah dan komuniti, menjalankan pemantauan, penyeliaan dan penilaian serta menempatkan fasilitator LINUS di setiap Pejabat Pelajaran Daerah untuk membantu guru bagi memastikan program ini berkesan dan mencapai matlamatnya.

Diharap penjelasan dan penerangan ini boleh mengatasi keraguan tuan tentang pelaksanaan program ini.

Unit Komunikasi Korporat

Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia.

Source:

http://www.moe.gov.my/?id=168&aid=731

Well, it is still not enough to pacify me. So I called ahkakbatik for some taxi cum nanny service (heh heh jangan marah, nanti ko pi US takde dah orang nak nyusahkan ko lagi!), and she was kind enough to oblige me. And so we went to the school. I was lucky enough that Hafiz's classroom teacher was in the Teacher's Lounge (damn, I made it sound so elegant, kan?), and armed with Hafiz's test results papers, I bombarded her with questions.

Puan Syahidah was kind enough to listen to my grumbles, and then when I took out the test papers, she kindly told me that the Linus test result did not come from the test papers that I brought. I froze. WTF ? Was there another test that I am not aware of ? Yes, she told me. There was a separate test for Linus, in which the student took the test, and the teachers keyed in the data (as collected from students' answer) to the computer, who analyzed the answers, and decided if the student pass the test and should join the mainstream class (meaning normal classes) or failed the Linus test, and should join the rehab classes.

And to console me, Puan Syahidah told me that there are even students with excellent test results who failed Linus test and be forced to join the rehab class. And there's another repeat test in June, in which if my boy pass the test, he can join the mainstream class. And if not, well...I hope that my boy will find his way out....

Sigh...

Chef Diva Malasssss...

2010-03-08T20:57:00.006+08:00

Heh heh...minggu ni aku extra malas...bak kata tagline HotFM...lebih MALAS dari biasa...

Tapi bukanlah bermaksud yang aku hanya makan tido aje...aku aktif join forum merangkap mesorat tingkap versi virtual...tengok tibi pun rajin...makan lagi la...tapi entah mengapa aku malas beno nak hapdet blog...bak kata Carlo the final contestant dalam The Biggest Loser Asia...maybe I had hit the plateau...owh Carlo ko sungguh ensem sekali.....

Erk! Fokus fokussssss....

Entry aku kali ini ialah tentang febret subjek aku...iaitu makan....

Alkisahnya, last week 6 March ialah tarikh keramat bagi Teddy...tu lah tarikh besday dia...petang sebelumnya aku dah buat mabeles chocolate cake yg sangat gorjes lagi delisyes (kalau la cikgu English aku tengok aku mencabul ejaan bahasa Inggeris nih mau pengsan 40 ari)...tapi Teddy balik lambat....kul 10 malam baru sampai umah...by that time, kek yg mabeles, gorjes lagi delisyes itu dah tinggal separuh dah....otomen aku la belasah...heh heh...so gamba takde la ekk...use your imagination OK....

Maka 6 March tu terpaksa lah aku berkungfu kat kitchen...kek tu kira tak sah...choiiiiiii....

anyway...taadaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Inilah hasilnya...aku masak Roast lamb chop with side dish of steamed broccoli and baby carrots, pastu ada mashed potato, buttered rice and veggie salad medley....

Erk!!!! Aku lupa lah nak letak lamb chop tu ateh pinggan Royal Doulton aku yg aku beli ngan harga RM2ribu satu set tuh....heh heh use your imagination OK!!!!

CikMan yang kekenyangan...

Sekian...aku nak sambung mood malas....

Ratapan Pilu Nan Syahdu : Trauma Satu Kehilangan

2010-03-03T19:42:00.003+08:00

Puhhhh...tajuk...jiwang tahap dewa! hikssss....

Dah seminggu aku tak hapdet blog. Semuanya kerana aku terlalu sibuk. Sibuk dengan aktiviti forum NGO.(Cheh, mula la prasan macam somebody important). Forum NGO tu sebenonya cumalah forum di alam virtual aje, tempat aku bersidai, bergosip sambil berdebat secara ilmiah dan menjana minda dengan diskusi yang begitu menganjakkan paradigma. Eerrrr....apa aku cakap ntah....

Yang sebenarnya, aku malas. Kan senang kan. Short, simple and straighforward jer alasannya.

Berbalik pada tajuk, setelah dikejutkan dengan berita kematian tragis adik Syafia, dan setelah aku memuntahkan laharan dan kutukan sepanas lava, sehebat ledakan Krakatoa di atas kekejaman pembunuh (and her mother, shame on her for letting this happened to her own child), aku dikejutkan pula dengan tragedi kehilangan di rumahku sendiri...

Inilah mangsa yang hilang. Hewan peliharaan dalam mini zoo kat rumah aku, iaitu Mr Rabbit (or Miss, ntah, aku tak pernah check apa jantina dia ni). Aku pelik macam mana Rabbit boleh hilang, padahal kitorang kasi dia duduk dalam apartment mewah (choiss). OK la, Rabbit nih duduk dalam cage dia, yg kalau ikutkan logik memang tak boleh terbukak sendiri.

Tapi that was what happen. Pagi itu, aku bangun lambat, sebab malamnya aku ada aktiviti qiamullail dan tadarus sampai ke pagi. OK you got me. Tipu lah. Malam tu aku tido lambat sebab layan Slumdog Millionaire. Ingatkan nak tengok sikit jer, tapi sebab citer tu beshhhhh sangat, maka tanpa aku sadari, aku tengok sampai habih, siap tunggu movie credits lagi...ni kalau makan ni ibaratnya hingga menjilat pinggan la nih...heh heh...

Anyway, pagi itu...pagi yang malang (atau happy!) itu, ketika aku membuka pintu rumah, aku perasan yg cage Rabbit terbuka, dan Rabbit tiada dalam cage nya itu. Aku pun terus suruh anak-anak aku membuat pengumuman penting kepada tuan punya mini zoo, iaitu laki aku Mr Teddy. Maka terkocoh-kocoh lah zoo keeper tu bangun, lalu mencari di sekitar neighborhood aku. Hampagas. Rabbit tiada.

Maka aku pun tunjuk concern, dan lakonan mantap tahap first class pun bermula! Siap aku pegi dekat cage, buat siasatan ala2 CSI macamana cage boleh terbukak sendiri...tang ni betul naa...aku bukak2 pintu jer tengok2 cage Rabbit dah terbukak luas....

Heh heh...Padahal dalam hatiku berbunga riang.....inilah nyanyian di dalam qalbu ku saat itu....

Yabedabedooooooooooooooo!!!!!
Yandre yiba yibaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!
Yennaporinggeyyyyyy amma!!!!....eh silap lagu....

Sebenarnya....walaupun aku sedih jugak lah atas kehilangan Rabbit itu (iyelah, masa dia ada, mana2 sayur yg aku tak habih masak tu aku letgo kat Rabbit la...kira Rabbit ni ibarat waste disposal aku la)...namun...aku tatap gumbira kerna...sekarang...no more Rabbit poops in my yard!!!!

Heh heh....Rabbit ni makan banyak gila...kalau aku kasi carrot, kejap jer habih la...pastu pantang nampak aku keluar rumah, musti Rabbit nih akan panjat2 cage dia...mintak carrot lagi la tuuuu...hehehe cute kan?

Tapi yg aku tak tahan...dia ni nampak jer kecik, tapi kerjanya asik2 poop aje....bertaburan lah di sekitar kawasan rumah aku dengan 'hasil nukilan' masterpiece Rabbit nih....sib baik la bau dia kira tak la busuk sangat, tapi aku still geli la weiiii....banyak beno pellets Rabbit nih...Zoo keeper yakni Inchek Teddy pulak 2-3 hari sekali baru la terhegeh-hegeh nak cuci toilet dia (tang ni aku dah sain kontrak disclaimer awal2, I'm not touching the poops hokkay!)...

Anyway...bubye Rabbit...we'll miss you, but it's OK...have fun out there!!!!!!

Hasta la vista bebeh...

Sekian ratapan pilu yang tak syahdu langsung pada malam ini....

Sambungan Kisah Sandal Yang DiMadu:Crocs No More!

2010-02-18T10:58:00.002+08:00

Korang ingat lagi tak kat aku ? Ala...aku ni kan sepasang sandal putih yang telah bermadu dengan sepasang slipa Crocs...Nak tahu satu cerita gumbira ? Crocs dah tarak!

Yiieeehaaaaaaa, andre yiba yiba!

Kisahnya begini...Last week, ketika perayaan CNY merangkap Valentine's No Panties Day (errr aku pun tak pakai panties ari tu...hahaha! psttt...aku ni kan sandal la weih, mana leh pakai panties!) merangkap besday anak sulung tuanku, mereka sekluarga, yakni tuanku dan keluarganya telah balik ke kampung Inchek Teddy iaitu suami tuanku.

Ketika itu, aku sungguh sedih sekali. Dan tuanku pula kulihat bagaikan teragak-agak sama ada untuk memilih aku atau Crocs untuk dibawa pulang ke kampung. Akhirnya dia memilih Crocs, dan ketika itu tiada apa yang mampu aku lakukan selain menangis. Berendamlah aku dalam limpahan airmata ketika CNY menjelang, ditemani dengan dentuman mercun dan pertunjukan bunga api dari kawasan kejiranan tuanku. Aghhhh.... tensen dan sedihnya saat itu.

3 hari kemudiannya, tuanku dan keluarganya pulang dari kampung Teddy. Ku kesat airmata hibaku, lalu ku sedut kembali saki baki hangus yang masih berkampung dalam hidungku. Aku tidak mahu tuanku melihat aku bersedih....Ah, mulia sungguh hatiku, kannn ?

Namun...ketika tuanku melangkah masuk, aku terperanjat sekali melihat sandal lain yang sudah lusuh di kaki halus mulus tuanku itu. "Mana Crocs ?" Bisikku di dalam hati.

Maka tanpa lengah, aku pun terus bertanya pada sandal lusuh yang telah dipakai oleh tuanku itu. Menurut sandal lusuh itu, dia asalnya adalah milik ibu mertua tuanku, iaitu ibu Inchek Teddy. Ketika di kampung, tuanku telah beriya-iya sekali bercerita tentang ke-besh-an selipar Crocs itu. Tak lupa juga, tuanku turut meng-highlight tentang harga Crocs kepada ibu mertuanya. Ketika itu, ibu mertuanya hanya mendengar penuh minat.

Dan sejurus sebelum berangkat pulang, Inchek Teddy telah menyuruh ibunya mencuba slipa Crocs itu, sekadar untuk memastikan saiz kaki ibunya. Kata suami Tuanku, lain kali dia akan belikan selipar Crocs untuk ibunya. Namun, un-sangkarable sekali, ibunya terus berkenan dengan selipar itu. Dan kebetulan pula, Crocs saiz 7 itu padan pula dengan kaki ibu mertua Tuanku. Apalagi, Crocs itu sekarang sudah berpindah milik kepada ibu mertua tuanku la!

Dan supaya tuanku tidak berkaki ayam ketika pulang ke Kuala Lumpur, maka ibu mertuanya telah memberikan sandal lusuh itu untuk dipakai dalam perjalanan...

Wahhhhhhhhhh...daku teruja sekali mendengar penerangan sandal lusuh itu...

Ternyata titis kebahagiaan itu masih milikku, dan masih ada sinar mentari yang bakal menyirami kedukaanku semalam...

Sekian, inilah kisahku...Kisah sepasang sandal yang bermadu, namun berkat ketabahan dan kesabaran, yang pahit itu kan manis akhirnya....(ayat pengubat luka tak boleh blah)

Tragedi Sepasang Sandal Yang Dimadukan....Sandarkan Pada Kenangan...

2010-02-11T13:29:00.004+08:00

Aku ialah sepasang sandal. Aku berwarna putih berseri, dengan sedikit taburan permata pada badanku. Aku adalah produk buatan Malaysia, 100% tulen bang..., walaupun jenamaku kedengarannya seperti nama negara Swiss dan permainan Polo.

Setelah aku dicipta, aku dan kawan-kawanku dibawa menaiki lori ke suatu lokasi. Owh. Jusco Taman Equine rupanya. Pada suatu hari yang indah, sedang aku berehat-rehat di dalam kotakku di bilik stor Jasko, tiba-tiba aku terasa kotakku diangkat. Kemudian, apabila kotakku dibuka, aku terkesima sekali melihat seorang wanita jelita lagi gorjes yang begitu ghairah menyarungkan aku ke kakinya yang halus mulus itu. 'Ini mesti kaki anak dara ni', bisikku di dalam hati. Ternyata tanggapanku jauh meleset, kerana wanita ini sebenarnya sudah beranak tiga! Wah, pandai betul dia menjaga body beautiful nya itu. (Tempat muntah di sini).

Dan saat itu, aku jatuh cinta padanya. Dia juga jatuh cinta padaku kerana ku lihat dia dengan rakusnya terus membayar hargaku di kaunter Jasko itu. Dan dari saat itu, bermulalah kehidupanku sebagai sandal rasmi kepada tuanku itu, yang biarlah aku gelarkan saja sebagai Puan Berlian (bukan nama sebenar).

Aku memberikan khidmat yang tidak berbelah bagi kepada tuanku itu. Ke mana sahaja dia pergi, pasti tuanku akan membawa aku bersama. Ke pasar, ke Jasko, ke kedai runcit, atau kadangkala ke rumah jirannya yang dipanggil ahkakbatik pun kami sering bersama.

Oh, sungguh indah detik-detik manis itu. Terasa kebahagiaan itu memang milikku. Namun...ku sangka panas hingga ke petang, rupanya ada salji turun di tengahari. (bermula irama gesekan biola yang syahdu).

Pada suatu hari, tuanku dan keluarganya keluar bersiar-siar. Menurut perbualan suami tuanku, dia mahu ke IOI Mall, kerna dia mahu membeli sepasang sandal jenama Crocs. Aku tidak mengambil pusing hal itu. Not my business.

Tiba sahaja di kedai Crocs, suami tuanku itu terus mencuba sepasang sandal dan membelinya. Sebelum membayar, dia menyuruh tuanku mencuba sepasang sandal Crocs. Tuanku kulihat agak keberatan untuk mencubanya, namun suaminya dan juga budak kedai Crocs itu begitu beria-ia menyuruh tuanku mencuba juga. Akhirnya, tuanku menurut.

Dia mencuba sepasang sandal, dan suami tuanku terus sahaja menyuruh tuanku membeli sandal itu. Tuanku cuba menolak, namun suaminya memberi satu renungan tajam, lalu tuanku mengalah lalu memilih sepasang sandal Crocs Mary Jane berwarna hitam untuk dibeli. Kemudian, suami tuanku membayar harga sandal-sandal tersebut.

Dan bermula detik itulah, aku dimadu !!!!!!!!!!!

Suami tuanku melarang tuanku dari memakai aku apabila keluar berjalan-jalan, sebaliknya menyuruh tuanku memakai sandal Crocs baru itu. Ku lihat tuanku agak keberatan, kerana Crocs itu agak huduh dan tidak lah se-vogeh aku, namun suaminya tetap menyuruh tuanku memakai Crocs itu. "Alah, pakai sandal biarlah selesa, awak tu dah la peknen, tak payah nak vogue lah", demikian kata-kata pedih menghiris yang keluar dari mulut suami tuanku itu.

Dan tuanku tiada pilihan selain menurut sahaja kehendak suaminya itu. Kadangkala aku merasa kasihan dan rasa nak tergelak melihat gaya tuanku yang sudah tidak vogue itu. Mana tidaknya, tuanku banyak koleksi seluar panjang yang berpotongan ranggi, iaitu agak ketat di bahagian paha dan mengembang sedikit ke bahagian bawah (ala2 bell bottom gitu, tapi ianya menyerlahkan lagi sepasang kaki tuanku yang begitu gorjes itu), dan ianya begitu huduh apabila tuanku memakai sandal Crocs, macam tak kena gaya pulak...

Hatiku masih pedih terhiris dan terguris dengan peristiwa ini, dan apa yang aku mampu lakukan sekarang ialah cuma sandarkan pada kenangan....(ending lagu filem Azura, Sandarkan Pada Kenangan nyanyian mokcik Ogy dan pokcik Jamal)

Kenangan manis kau dan aku
Takkan terluput
Duri ranjau dalam bercinta
Lumrah dunia

Sayang menyayang
Cinta dikenang
Perasaan menjadi rindu

Oh...
Lihatlah diriku yang kehilangan
Tanpa kasih mu sayang
Siapalah aku

Sayang menyayang
Saling percaya
Punca kasih berpanjangan

Mengapa kita harus bersengketa
Kerana fitnah dan salah sangka
Apa yang telah terjadi pada kenangan
Sememangnya aku tak pernah melupakannya
Mengapa mesti ada perasaan benci
Kerana cinta dan percaya luput dalam perasaan

Marilah kasih
Kita saling sayang menyayang
Kalaulah ada benci
Kita sandarkan pada kenangan

Be My Valentine...

2010-02-06T18:10:00.004+08:00

From Wiki,

Saint Valentine's Day^[1] (commonly shortened to Valentine's Day^[1]^[2]^[3]) is an annual holiday held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.^[1]^[3] The holiday is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines"). The holiday first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

Modern Valentine's Day symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards.[4

heh heh...saja jer buat tajuk gempaq bersempena dengan kedatangan hari Valentine yang semakin hampir ini. Padahal aku tak pernah sambut Valentine's Day. Sumpah!

Tapi Valentine's day yang disambut pada setiap 14 Februari pada setiap tahun, yang konon-kononnya adalah satu haribagi meng-ekspresi dan memperingati kekasih juga adalah satu tarikh keramat dalam hidup aku.

Here's the reason why.

Introducing : Muhammad Hafiz on his first day on earth, 14th February 2003.

Unsangkarable sungguh yang aku beranak pada hari itu, padahal due date aku ialah pada early March. And he was so tiny, just 1.8kg at birth. But gosh, he was strong like an ox. Biasanya babies yang under 2kg ni doktor akan letak under NICU/Neo natal care, tapi memandangkan vital signs dia yang sungguh power maka doktor kasi lepas saja dia bersama dengan aku...

That was yesterday. Sekarang Hafiz dah besar pun, errr tapi badan masih kecik la. Tak apa lah...walaupun kecik tapi anak ahkakbatik tetap sukakan dia heh heh. Anak aku pun buleh tahan gatal nya...hehehe...where does the gravy drop if not to the rice, kan ? Cepat la aku dapat menantu nanti...hikhikhik....

Sekian, entri yg tiada unsur ilmiah pada hari ini.

Sallahuddin...I fell in love with you...

2010-02-01T14:08:00.004+08:00

Ni apa cerita pulak ni ? Takkan la aku ada skandal-mendal pastu sudi pula berkongsi pengalaman ini dengan pembaca blog aku yang budiman lagi cendikiawan lagi rupawan ?

Gilo ko apo aku ni ? Terlebih estrogen ? Kolestrol tinggi ? Hemoglobin kurang ? Tak cukup oksigen ? Brain malfunction ?

Bukan bukan bukan....

Heh heh...alkisahnya....Baru baru ini, aku tengok History channel...ada satu dokumentari pasal pahlawan Islam zaman silam...iaitu Salahuddin Al-Ayubi...atau mengikut sebutan lidah omputeh...Salladin...

Owh...dari dulu memang aku dah admire Sallahudin. Esp selepas aku tengok movie The Kingdom Of Heaven. Wow. Dalam movie tu, Sallahudin memang digambarkan sebagai seorang lelaki yang begitu budiman, a great warrior, a brilliant strategist dan paling penting, seorang Muslim yang begitu taat pada Allah. Memang. Dari dulu lagi sudah aku terkesima padanya.

Tapi, masalahnya, dalam movie tu jugak ada watak Balian yang dipegang oleh Mr Orlando Bloom aku, so mata keranjangku lebih suka melihat kelibat Balian, lalu otakku cuma mampu mencerna watak Balian...Balian...Bloom....dan bahagianya kalau la aku jadi Mrs Bloom....

Eh apa aku melalut ni....Fokus....fokus....kita cakap pasal Sallahudin la deyyy...

Anyway, dokumentari yang aku saksikan lewat pancaran Astro BYOND dengan menggunakan paparan High Definition menerusi kaca televisyen widescreen LCD di rumah aku itu (hahaha saja aku tulis tu, mesti ahkakbatik membara jer baca khannn?), betul-betul membuatkan aku memikirkan balik tentang insan yang bernama Sallahudin Yusof Ibn Ayyub ini.

Menyaksikan rentetan peristiwa perang Salib atau the Crusaders wars, bagaimana dia berjaya menakluki kota suci Juruselam, Acre etc etc dan bagaimana pintarnya dia mengatur strategi, membuatkan aku meraba raba perut aku...Rayyan Sallahuddin...

Sigh...

Hadoiiiii...Nampaknya, aku rasa aku bakal dapat baby boy lagi la...hehehe...

Takpe la...asal leh kasi nama Salahuddin...ambil berkat kaedahnya....

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

2010-01-31T19:42:00.002+08:00

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
the lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle, the mighty jungle
the lion sleeps tonight
Hush my darlin, don't fear my darlin
the lion sleeps tonight
Hush my darlin, don't fear my darlin
the lion sleeps tonight...

Spot on. Itu soundtrack dari movie The Lion King. Pada yang perasan mudos, hek elehhh movie tu keluaran lewat 90s, so buang la perasaan mudos tu jejausss. Aku tengok movie tu kat The Mall, pu-yohhhhh...jaman tu, The Mall la port paling happening beb!

Wait. So kenapa aku melalut pasal soundtrack movie tu pulak ? Well, because itu lah apa yang aku rasakan sekarang. Setelah beberapa minggu mengharungi detik derita (OK, now start lagu gesek biola), constant nausea, constant pening, muntah etc etc, hari ni tetiba aku sihat walafiat. Alhamdulillah. Truthfully, I really feel like the lion sleeps tonight, so tonight I want to dance in the moonlight! Pheewwiiitt!!!!

Serious. Last 2 weeks had been like hell. At one point, aku rasa macam nak collapsed. No energy, nak makan takleh, or apa2 saja yang aku makan bakal di eject keluar...So aku pegi klinik, jumpa ob-gyn aku...the doctor took one look at me, and suggested "OK...why don't you lie down, I masukkan IV drip, and see if it makes you feel any better?". Masa tu aku dah lembik, so aku just angguk kapla.

And Alhamdulillah, lepas masuk 1 botol intravenous drip tu, aku rasa OK skit walaupun masih letih sangat2. Lega. The next few days wasn't easy, selera makan takde, nasi takleh telan...huhuhu sengsaranya...aku cuma leh minum Nestum drinks. Pagi2 telan Nestum, tengahari nestum, petang Nestum hatta malam pun aku togok Nestum...(psst, lagu gesek biola tu jangan rentikan tawww)...

Huh...Tapi aku masih sangat2 bersyukur...dalam aku duk uwek uwek tu, Hafiz masih boleh aku uruskan untuk dia pergi sekolah. Dan Hafiz pun tak banyak songeh. Suruh naik bas, dia naik bas. (Nota:first day dia naik bas skola aku nangis...hajat hati nak hantar sendiri, tapi apakan daya...) Pastu takde la nak nangis2 merengek2 mintak aku temankan dia masuk dalam dewan skolah tu (sambil jeling2 kat ahkakbatik...hahaha sempat jugak aku sindir ko ye!).

Ada satu hari tu....dia balik skola dengan penuh excited. Dalam aku duk pening2 tu, dia nakkk jugak cerita. so aku dengo jer la. Katanya..."Mama...tadi Abang jumpa Syasya masa rehat". Aku pun angguk jer la. "So ?" aku tanya dia. "Pastu, Abang ajak dia pegi kantin, makan sama-sama. Abang belanja dia makan burger, abang makan sosej". Tweeettttt! Aku pause pening aku kejap.

"Abang makan sama-sama dengan Syasya?" aku tanya dia.
"Iyelah. Pastu, abang Ajik datang, makan sama ngan kitorang", dia cerita dengan jujur.

Oh my son. His first lunch date!!!!!!!! Tapi appa da si Ajik tu datang kaco daun. Huh!

Errr apa aku melalut ni ha...Inilah akibatnya bila aku dah trigger happy...excited maa....

OK la nanti sambung lagi....

Hush...the lion sleeps tonight.....

Bagaikan Cinderella...la la la!!!!

2010-01-17T23:36:00.002+08:00

Yups, hari ni aku rasa bagaikan Cinderella. Bukan sebab aku ada pari pari. Bukan juga sebab aku ada kereta pumpkin yg transformasi jadi Porche Cayenne pujaan hatiku. Bukan juga sebab aku ada glass slippers size 6. Atau sebab aku pakai baju gown ballroom kaler putih yang makin menonjolkan ke-gorjes-san diriku yang sudah semulajadi gorjes ini. No no no.

Hari ni aku rasa bagaikan Cind, sebab hari ni aku takdak rasa mabuk/pening/muntah. After almost 2 weeks of feeling like being trapped on a ship from hell, constant seasick, constant nausea etc etc, hari ini aku bagaikan berjaya membebaskan diriku dari belenggu mabuk tanpa alkohol itu. And it feels good! (Cue: OK masa ni korang imejin lagu I feel good! aku malas nak cari lam youtube)

Crowd memang tak ramai, aku pun tak expect ramai orang datang esp kat 1Utama tuh. Tapi macam nak juling jugak aku cari muka2 familiar yg janji nak mai (hint: Batik...di mana ko batik!!!!!) Tapi takpe lah...aku syukur sebab at least aku leh baca text aku dengan lancar, takde gagap dan paling penting takde uwek uwek depan crowd.

What more can I ask ?

OK Cinderella nak titon...must catch my beauty sleep....

It's Rock n roll time!

2010-01-11T16:17:00.004+08:00

Oh yes baby, it's the rock n roll time. It's the ultimate headbanging time, it's time to sway and feel like the earth move under your feet, feel like the sky is tumbling down, it's time to feel crazy and inhuman.

Nah. I'm not talking about drugs, or seksss (ejaan tu aku sengaja buat gitu supaya blog ni tidak diblacklist oleh server kat opis Puan Banana, how thoughtful of me, kannn?) or lain2 parti liar yg berorientasikan hedonism.

The fact is, keterangan kat perenggan pertama tu ialah penerangan aku tentang simptom mabuk buatan orang (MBO ?), khasnya dalam kes aku ialah buatan Teddy.

Aiyoh. Aku ni memang kategori yg akan melepek macam kain buruk for the first trimester of my pregnancy. 4 bulan pertama tu aku memang akan lomah....mabuk, pening, muntah,loya etc etc. Cukup lengkap. Tapi...as if by magic, once I hit the 4 months milestone, fuhhh...otomatik semuanya OK...

Itu yang aku duk risau tu...17 Januari is my author's session day at MPH 1Utama...dari bulan doblas dulu aku duk plan kunun nak beli baju baru la, nak beli mekap baru la sempena hari berbahgia itu....tapi semuanya hanya tinggal perancangan...aku tak mampu nak pegi supping kerna sibuk dengan uwekk uwekkk...aisehman....guano nih ????

Tapi...nasib baik ada Gardenia Wholemeal bread....bagaikan roti ajaib kiriman Doraemon , siyesssss wa cakap luuuuu!!!!! Makan loti ni bagaikan aku tarok 'penyendal' yg sangat efisyen kat dalam perut aku. No more perut bergelora, rasa tenang jer. Dan bila perut aku tenang, tidak bergelora umpama ribut barat yang menghempas gelombang ke persada pantai (fuh! ayat jiwang seh!), kepala aku pun tak pening. I feel human again. Alhamdulillah....

Dan mintak-mintaknya...17 Januari ini aku masih akan kekal macam ni...pastu kalau nak ribut barat ke sulawesi ke utara uganda ke takpo la....janji, 17 Januari ni aku maintain cun, aminnnn....

Keterangan Gambar, tiada kena mengena dengan imej terbaru aku :
Perkenalkan...Mr Rabbit...hewan terbaru dalam zoo keluarga aku...Inchek Teddy beli Mr Rabbit ni lepas aku confirm pregnant. Jangan silap paham...Mr Rabbit ni ialah hadiah untuk Cik Man yg terpaksa belajo utk melupakan nenen...oh yes, Cik Man masih nenen walopun umornya dah nak masuk 3 tahun...so sebagai hadiah selamat tinggal nenen, terimalah rabbit ini sebagai temanmu...hahaha sian Cik Man....

I got Double Line !

2010-01-08T18:53:00.002+08:00

Huh. Akhirnya, aku berjaya jugak dapat double line. Walaupun secara teknikalnya, double line dambaanku adalah dalam bentuk golang omeh yang double line, dan double line yang sudah sahih yang aku sudah gapai adalah dalam bentuk keputusan urine pregnancy test/UPT, tapi takpo lah...double line jugak tu, aku redha ( stetmen orang yang redha taraf nur kasih).

Mula-mula aku terkejut jugak. Tersentak hampir-hampir koma depan Prof Dato' Dr Mathevan (pstt, ni saja la nak menunjuk yg aku dah ada pengganti duktur nathan pojaan hati batik tu, propesor latok lagi tawwww).

Based on past experiences, aku dah tahu dah, the next two months memang musti teruk punya la. Morning sickness that last for one whole day, rasa penin nak muntah meloya, etc etc. tak sanggup aku tulis banyak-banyak. ni pun dah mai rasa meloya ni. enuff said.

Then, aku duk pikir...camana la aku nak handle 3 otomen yangs sedia ganas tu dengan keadaan aku yang lomah gitu? fuh. Aku dah stat migrain walopun aku tak penah kena migrain sabelum ni. Ayoma !!!!

Pastu...untuk tenteramkan jiwa ku yang gundah gulana, aku cuba pikir positip...this is a rezeki ni. Ramai yang nak anak, dah kawin bertahun-tahun tapi tak dapat anak. Ha...macam datok CT tu....errr sapa lagi ek....ha...tu Ekin bini Mawi. and the list goes on....So aku kena la bersyukur, paling kurang aku ni kira kategori subur lagi produktif la...(gosh, did I REALLY said that ? I blame it on the pregnancy hormons hahaha).

Lagi....errr...ini juga menunjukkkan betapa mudos rumajo nya aku...I'm still in the childbearing age bracket, lambat lagi nak menopos (hahaha, again, please excuse my hormon OK!) . et cetera et cetera, lu pikir la sendiri!

Gotta go, aku kena tunjuk lakonan mantap lagi berkesinambungan kepada Teddy...(sejak tahu result semalam aku terus menunjukkan lakonan mantap yg amat berkesan, masa ni la aku nak perasssss dia hahaha. ini kerna aku betul2 percaya pada title filim P. Ramlee - BUKAN SALAH IBU MENGANDUNG. Damn right. Salah Bapak la...hahaha )

Opss...fokus....

I'm Back!

2010-01-05T13:40:00.004+08:00

I'm back with a vengeance. It's been almost 2 weeks without internet when my modem when kaput, and I was almost crazy with boredom. Yes, taking away the very link to the internet world is the cruelest thing that could happen to a hardcore internet addict like me.

But I didn't suffer much. I owe it to the building anticipation that I have with Hafiz's preparations for his very first day at school. My son had grown up! And I got myself busy with all the preparations. Buying the school uniforms. Go to school for registration. Go to school for his Orientation day. Wrapping his textbooks. (dan aku baru perasan, anak aku bakal belajo bahasa Arab. Wah-lau!) Buying the stationery. Sewing the school badge to his school shirts.

Wait a minute. Did I say sewing ? Aku ? Menjahit ?Aku tak pernah belajar menjahit. I blame it on the education system in Malaysia (hahaha it always easier to blame others, plus it made me feel much better too!).

When I joined secondary school, I entered the 'elite' commerce stream. Most students who scored at least 3As in Penilaian Darjah Lima exam were chosen to enroll in the Commerce stream. Others who did not perform quite well in their PDL were lumped together in another group. The girls learned Home Science or Sains Rumahtangga, and the boys...errr I forgot what class that the boys took.

Anyway, I always envied those girls who joined SRT class. They cooked at school, and always have something to eat at the end of the day. Yup, I had always been an eating machine since I was a teenager. And they learned how to sew and mend torn clothes, etc etc. And I never learned such skills at school. Never formally. And so I grow up to be an ignorant teenager, never knowing that I would greatly need those skills in my later years.

I learned how to cook when I was in UK. It's like sync or swim. Either I learned to to cook, or die eating instant noodles everyday. Being a Malay totok with an even totok perut (I cannot tahan without rice, 2 days without rice and I will turn into a zombie. serious.), I had no choice but to learn how to cook. And mending my torn clothes. Had to lah. or else, I had to keep on wearing baju koyak to my uni. Sigh.

Suffice to say that my sewing and mending skills were at minimum level. Tapi aku tetap gigih dan bersemangat untuk jahit sendiri lencana sekolah Hafiz ke uniform sekolah dia. Even with my almost non-existent sewing skills. Macamana rupanya aku menjahit ?

Ingat tak adegan dalam filim labu-labi, scene di mana Haji Bakhil menaip pakai typewriter dalam hutan ? Ha. Macam tulah rupanya aku menjahit. Terkial-kial, terhegeh-hegeh. and with lots and lots of cursings. biru suasana dengan macam2 kata2 makian yang keluar dari bibir cumilku ini. After much cursings and swearings, Teddy told me to give up and send those uniforms to a tailor.

"Hantar kedai je lah. rosak baju budak tu kang!", said Teddy.

I gave him a glance that could froze holt and molten lava, and he shut up.

And being a kiasu mom, I persevered and continued sewing those darn badges. And I made it! All 3 shirts! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P/S : Aku tengok baju anak2 ahkakbatik, dan dengan bongkaknya aku rasa jahitan aku setanding dengan jahitan kak tek itewwww...hahaha bongkak tak hengat!

Cinta Mona Gersang

2009-12-30T15:28:00.005+08:00

hehehe...adakah ini tajuk nobella terbaru aku ? Cam besh jer kan...cerita kisah wanita bernama Mona yang kegersangan, macam aku...

Ya...Ini pendedahan berani aku...Tanpa malu, aku ingin berkongsi derita hati ni dengan seantero pembaca di dunia blogger ini.

Aku sedang gersang sekarang ni. Rasa resah gelisah, gundah randah, bagai arwah arowana aku yang kelemasan di dalam air. Keinginan yang membuak buak pada ONE THING, and ONE THING ONLY, namun aku masih belum dapat melampiaskan serakahku pada keinginanku tersebut.

Sudah seminggu aku menahan keinginan ini. Terasa bagaikan dipanggang hidup-hidup. Siang malam aku asyik teringat, rindu dendam tidak tertahan. Memendam keinginan yang satu,menanti saatnya untuk aku melepaskan serakahku ini. Namun aku masih hampa.

Sia Dia, Teddy suamiku, bagaikan tidak memahami kehendak napsu ku ini. Sudah berbagai isyarat aku lontarkan padanya. Sudah pelbagai posisi aku peragakan padanya, namun dia seakan buta, seakan tertutup minda nya untuk memahami hasratku. Bagaikan ada hijab antara kami. Dan aku bagaikan si gila yang menjerit sekuat hatiku, namun dia tidak mendengarnya. Atau mungkinkan dia sengaja ingin menyiksa batinku ????

Kau kejam Teddy, kejam !!!!!!

Maka hari ini aku mengambil keputusan drastik.

I DO IT MYSELF.

I WILL SATISFY MYSELF.

Maka di rumah Batik, aku tanpa segan silu terus melampiaskan hawa nafsu yang sudah seminggu tertahan.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

What a feeling. I hit euphoria. Bagai di awang-awangan saat napsu sudah ditunaikan.

Seminggu tak dapat bertenet dan update blog sebab modem aku mampuih dipanah petir, hari ini akhirnya dapat jugak aku tunaikan hajatku untuk bertenet dan update blog aku.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Bestnya.....

Sekian, kisah benar aku yang kegersangan internet akibat modem yang rosak....errr korang ingta aku cakap pasal apa ? Choiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.............

Cissss!!!!

2009-12-21T10:12:00.003+08:00

Ini adalah kesinambungan dari episod takdak mood aku 2-3 hari lepas. Selain dari tengok TV (selepas sesi rampasan kuasa dan pengishtiharan bahawa akulah pemerintah unggul (skrip : I AM YOUR MOTHER, I HAVE THE RIGHTS TO WATCH TV TOO, NOW GO UPSTAIRS AND PLAY YOUR PS2!!! - note: caps lock letters, untuk menunjukkan betapa seriusnya dialog aku).

But of course I didn't win every war. The thing about the battle is, you need to form a strategic plan, you must chose which battle that you must win, and which battle that you must PURPOSELY lose, in order to gain victory on a much greater battle. Geez...I sound exactly like Sun Tsu...sigh.

Anyway, setelah PURPOSELY 'kalah' dalam peperangan perebutan remote control TV, aku rasa lagi buhsan. Tahap kronik punya buhsan. Nak blogging pun tarak mood. Nak tengok TV takleh, sebab diktator sebenar (Incek Teddy) pegang kuasa veto, so depa anak beranak pulak pakat rampas kuasa dan tengok TV. Apa nak buat apa nak buat ????

Nak tidur, masa tu dah lepas Asar. Kata orang, tak boleh tidur lepas waktu Asar, cukup 40 hari (or something like that), nanti ko jadi mental. Ieeeeee...takuttt. So aku surf lam tenet, surf food n recipes sites. And voila! I scored!

Aku jumpa resepi bersama gambo yang bertajuk cream cheese bars. Wahlau, I loike! Cream cheese, butter, gula halus sumer ada. Pastry puff yang jiran aku yang sangat baik hati kasi pun ada lagi 4 keping (yg belen tu aku dah buat sosej pastry hari sebelumnya). Hoh. Ngam sangat la tuh.

So apalagi, aku pun segera la feeling2 like Nigella (complete with boobs hahaha), dan jalankan operasi.

Dan taadaaa!!! Here's the result.

Aku tahan napas waktu ambil gambar ini, pastu dengan rakusnya aku mms kat ahkakbatik. sajerrr...kasi dia jelesss hahaha I am evil!

Sodap!!!!!! Dan paling penting, senang banget sich!!!! Nak resepi ? Nah kelik di sini.

Nota : Itu gamba cream cheese bar aku yg asli tawww, bukan hijack dari orang len. Tengok tuuu, tu alas meja umah ai tuuu !!!

BUHSAN ATTACK : Hari-Hari Yang Malassss

2009-12-20T12:06:00.005+08:00

Tah kenapa, 3-4 hari ni aku dilanda dengan sindrom yang lebih dahsyat dari sindrom cili BUH dan Sarjan HaSAN (buhsan daa, tiru ayat ahkakbatik, nanti aku bayo la royalti ekk).....

Serius. betul2 tarak mood.

So aku habiskan masa emas aku dengan tengok TV. Macam-macam cerita aku tengok. Stardust ( I'm lovin it! Robert de Niro ohmygod Robert de Niro jadi 'lanun' yg baik!) . Horton (2 kali siot!). Pastu aku tengok dokumentari Final Battle:Satan vs God (tapi tak abis, sebab mood buhsan mai attack jugak). Emma. Ah yes! aku tengok Emma. Finally!

Cakap pasal Emma, aku pernah baca buku dia, tapi tak abis, sekerat jalan jer...(ni pendedahan berani maut ni). AYoyo...malu gaks nak ngaku yang aku tak abih baca pun buku Jane Austen. I mean, HELLO!!!!!! Jane Austen is sooooo famed in English high literature world, and I didn't even finish her books! What a shame.

Alasan kaver line aku: well, aku bukan budak TESL walopun aku pernah dikelilingi oleh bidadari TESL wahahaha, baek punya excuse! Seriously, masa kat UK aku pernah beli paperbacks Emma kats second hand bookshop, tapi tah ke mana hilangnya.

Then, masa kat Sydney pun sama, aku beli jugak paperback Emma, tapi aku tinggal jer kat serviced apartment tempat aku duduk tu, pun cuma sempat baca 20-30 pages max, tapi Bram Stoker's Dracula aku leh baca sampai abis, siap tapau bawak balik Mesia lagi. Padahal, masa baca Dracula tu aku dah seram sejuk...duk terbayang2 jer abe Drac ada kat sebelah. Sib baik la Bram Stoker buat citer Dracula tu dengan latar belakang di Romania, kalau dia cakap kat Sydney aku musti dah awal2 tempah tiket balik Mesia, ngeri wooo...dah la duk kat apartment sensorang...

But I really like the movie Emma. Jalan cerita dia tak berubah, walaupun dah di adaptasi jadi filem. Pastu aku pun feeling2 nostalgia la zaman kegemilangan aku waktu di UK dulu...huhuhu...itu saja yang aku lakukan....tak macam jiran blog aku tuuuuu...feeling-feeling like a virgin kununnnnnnnnnnnnnn....choiiiiiiii....

alamak, angin buhsan dah mai balik...so tatatititutu!!!!!

Hairstyles

2009-12-13T22:50:00.010+08:00

Untuk entri kali ini, aku nak bercakap mengenai rambut. Ya, rambut. Ala...yang atas kepala kita tuuu....Sebenarnya, dari last week aku nak bukak topik ni, tapi kena sidetracked dengan isu-isu lain yang lebih memerlukan prioroti dan perhatian (ceh, sejibik macam YB berkata-kata), maka aku postpone sahaja topik ini.

Now back to topic...

Rambut itu mahkota wanita, kata pepatah.

Hoh...nasib baik mahkota wanita, bukan lelaki.

Tengok ni.

(Pssst tenkiu ahkak batik,pandai ahkak batik snap gambo...nampak golang omeh ai yeeww!)

Inilah rupabentuk topografi kepala CikMan selepas dia dikeronyok oleh kedua orang abang-abangnya untuk satu sessi hairstyling. Terkejut ? Hoh. Aku lagi tekezut. Pada masa dan ketika itu, aku sedang khusyuk menjalankan tugas rutin selaku surirumah yang berkaliber lagi inteligent. Rutin la...memasak 5 course dinner sambil gosok baju sambil mop lantai sambil cangkul tanah. Betul bang, sumpah!

OK you got me....hehehe

Sebenarnya, ketika kejadian, akus sedang tekun mengadap laptop, bertenet. Bebudak di living room, tengok TV. Teddy tiada di tempat kejadian, belum balik kerja. Masa aku tengah syok berforum, tiba-tiba CikMan masuk ke dalam bilik. Ketika itu, aku nampak muka CikMan ni lain macam jerrr...aku ingatkan dia main air, sebab rambut dia nampak macam 'flat' atau lepeh.

So aku mulakan bebelan tahap 2 sambil dukung dia (eyyy, I ni penyayang tawww). Ketika itulah aku perasan....rambut CikMan bukan lepeh, tapi sebenarnya sudah dicantas dengan fesyen ala2 butch cut! (Butch cut ni potongan rambut ultra pendek, very close to the scalp...macam asko). Nak tahu lebih pasal butch cut klik sini.

Paling tak tahan hatiku...udahlah ala2 crew cut gitu, tapi cantasannya tak rata! Nampak berbelak2. Naik juling mataku tengok panorama kepala CikMan. Berpinar-pinar. Apalagi, bebelan aku terus naik ke tahap 5, kaler jingga dah! Abang2 yang lagi 2 orang tu saling tuduh menuduh. Sessi mahkamah bermula!

Setelah mendengar hujah hujah pembelaan daripada kedua-dua belah pihak, aku tanya saksi utama merangkap mangsa kejadian. Soalan aku mudah saja.

Tuan Hakim(aku la) : Sapa gunting rambut Man?

Saksi Utama/Mangsa : Abang (lalu finger pointing pada kedua2 abang)

Hoh. Setelah aku panggil pakar CSI (aku jugak) yang meneliti keadaan topografi kepala CikMan, aku mencapai konklusi bahawa perbuatan dan aktiviti hairstyling itu dilakukan oleh Hafiz, dan Hakim pula jadi tukang pegang CikMan.

So aku pun kasi amaran keras dekat kedua-dua tertuduh. Kedua-duanya mengangguk penuh keinsafan. Tapi sukarnya aku untuk buat2 serius sebab asal aku toleh tengok CikMan aje aku rasa nak gelak...

OK la...to their credits, aku rasa anak2 aku ada talent untuk jadi hairstylist jugak....so sapa lagi nak volunteer potong rambut kat saloon I ????

Fantasia Bulan Madu, Wet Dream Dan Tragedi Part II

2009-12-11T18:08:00.005+08:00

OK...(drumroll please) as promised, inilah sequel kepada entry aku yang tajuknya menonjolkan ciri-ciri ghairah yang membuatkan Puan Sri Bananas klik pada blog aku dengan penuh rakus, namun hampa kerna tajuk saja 18SX sedangkan isinya cumalah sekadar label U sajork....heh heh....

Meh kita re-cap balik apa yang berlaku dalam hidup aku sepanjang 48 jam nan lalu...

Hari Rabu pagi,
aku pergi ke PD,
ikut Teddy, my laki....
Masa di PD,
ketika mandi,
aku teringat perihal mimpi
mandi laut di selat melaka dalam mimpi
dan rupanya mimpi jadi realiti,
mula la aku perasan ada kuasa sakti!

(perghh, it rhymes! oh I'm so talented! bhahaha sila muntah di sini).

Anyway, aku balik ke rumah disambut tragedi...(sila bayangkan background lagu sedeh dengan iringan gesekan biola).....uhuuukkkkk....

Tragedi ikan arowana Teddy mati!

Arwah Arowana dalam kenangan...Kau pergi jua akhirnya....

Kalau korang nak tahu, aku yang meroyan lebey dari Teddy dengan kematian arowana ini. Dia sedey jugak, tapi aku laaagiiiiiii sejota kali lebeih sedey. Masa kitorang sampai kat umah, arowana tu tengah nazak...errr nyawa-nyawa ikan....Siap aku cakap kat arowana tu..."Please don't die...please, please please!!!!". Kalau la boleh buat CPR aku dah buat dah kat arowana tuuuu...

Teddy pelik bercampur terharu dengan kesedihan aku. Maka dia janji nak beli arowana baru...

Uuuwaaaaaaaaa !!!! Lagi kuat aku nangih teriak...dia tak tahu yang aku sebenonya sedih mengenangkan harga arowana Red Tail Golden itu yang sebanyak RM850.00 seekor, namun hampesh burn begitu sahaja dengan kematian arowana itu....Dah la cakap2 pujuk nak beli lagi seekor arowana nak ganti yang telah pergi ini...

Perasaanku...sayu, pilu sedih pedih luka terhiris ditusuk sembilu berbisa...ohh...dalam melayani kesedihan itu aku sempat calculate dalam kepala...arowana yang dah jadi arwah tu harganya RM850, kalau dia beli seekor lagi dengan harga yang sama....ohhh dah dekat 2 ribu hingget!!!!

Kalau kasi kat aku wit tu, sahih aku dah bawak buat investment kat kedai ahkak Zabedah tokeh emas nunnnn di Terengganu...dapat golang omeh 3 line, buat eksen kat ahkak Batik yang pakai golang omeh dabel line itu!!!!!

maka biarkan aku menangis....

Udang2 galah dalam akuarium itu pun turut menangis, kesian kat aku yang tak dapat golang triple line agaknya....

Penghargaan : Timokacih ahkakbatik!

Fantasia Bulan Madu, Wet Dream Dan Tragedi...

2009-12-10T22:48:00.007+08:00

Demi cintaku padamu
Ke mana pun kan ku bawa
Ke hujung dunia ke bintang kejora

Demi cintaku padamu
Ku korbankan jiwa dan raga
Biarpun harus ku telan lautan bara

Bulan madu di awan biru
Tiada yang mengganggu
Bulan madu di atas pelangi
Hanya kita berdua
Mengecap nikmat cinta
Yang putih tak terbanding
Sesuci embun pagi

Andai dipisah
Laut dan pantai
Musnahlah ilham
Hilang pedoman

Andai dipisah
Cahaya dan bulan
Gelap gelita
Punah asmara

hohoho...itu lagu Fantasia Bulan Madu by Search. Lagu tu sangat popular zaman aku sekolah dulu. Saja je aku tepek lagu tu, mengenangkan jiran aku tu sedang mengecapi saat indah bulan madu dengan suami tersayang....heh heh...jangan runtuh katil sudahlah yerrrr....

Aku baru balik dari PD. Bukan bulan madu, tapi ikut montot laki. Iyelah, aku ni kan ala2 istri mithali walaupun kengkadang aku boleh transformasi jadi istri DEGIL-li (err puas aku try cari perkataan yg seirama dengan mithali, tapi sebab aku tengah blank, maka that's the best I can come out with. Deal with it, OK!).

Kisahnya, pada suatu pagi Rabu yang berseri, sedang aku sibuk mengacau mi goreng spesel dalam kuali, tiba-tiba Teddy buat kejutan yang ngeri, katanya hari ni nak ke PD, cepat kemas kain baju suruh anak2 mandi! (errr perasan tak aku akhiri setiap ayat aku dengan huruf 'i', supaya berirama? tepuk la sikit atas kegegehan aku OK)

Hoh...apalagi, mencecet2 la aku kemas kain baju, basuh piyuk pinggan mangkuk. Mana nak mandikan budak, nak kemas baju yang sesuai bla bla bla. But I did it. All in less than 1 hour's time. Pandai nyerrrrr!!!!!

So lepas breakfast kitorang berangkat. First stop was Seremban, then we moved to Tampin, then Rembau. Final destination baru la PD. Sumernya tu atas urusan Teddy la. Aku tunggu jer la dalam keta ngan 3 otomen masa dia turun tengok sites. Hoh. Rabak telinga aku tak payah cakap la. Tapi aku masih cool. Yeah baybee!

I enjoyed the journey. AKu ni kalau traveling memang jarang tidur. Naik kereta ke naik bas ke naik train ke hatta naik kapal terobang sekalipun aku memang tak tidur. Aku suka tengok scenery jalan. Dan kalau naik flight lagi la. Aku biasanya akan request windows seat, dan tak puas-puas tengok landscape bumi from a bird's eye view. Cantik sehhh. Nampak sungai, nampak hutan etc etc. Dan kalau kapalterbang tu sedang terbang tinggi, aku suka tengok awan. Pastu aku imejin la aku bulanmadu di awan biru...ala macam lagu yang aku tepek kat atas tuuuu....

Anyway, lepas dah siap kerja dia, kitorang pun check in ke hotel. Lepas check in, apalagi....acara terjun ke dalam laut pun bermula! Want to know something weird ? Masa mandi tu aku baru teringat...for the past few weeks, aku memang asyik bermimpi. 2-3 kali mimpi yang sama. Wet dream lagi.

hohoho...Jangan pikir 18SX hokeh. Aku kata wet dream, sebab dalam mimpi tu aku sedang mandi dekat SELAT MELAKA. So memang basah la. Itu pasal la aku kata wet dream hahaha...(weh...kalau aku ada wet dream, aku tak akan cerita kat korang, kena kutuk kaw2 jerrr)

Dan, masa aku syok2 mandi, aku teringat balik...hoh...patutlah 2-3 aku asyik mimpi mandi dan berenang di Selat Melaka. Memang betul lah. Macam deja'vu. Really. In my dreams, ianya nyata lagi clear yang aku sedang berenang di Selat Melaka, bukan Lautan Atlantik ke Laut Artik ke hatta Laut China Selatan ke....

Wah. Ini sudah magika. Maybe after this I would have some magical powers, like touching something, and it turns into gold ????? so far belom lagi....but I'm still hoping....

Hoh. Gold ke hapa nya....aku balik ke rumah, dan terkejut disambut tragedi....nanti lah aku cerita tentang tragedi yang berlaku di rumah, sepeninggalan kami ke PD...

to be continued.... (saja aku bikin saspen)

Bad Day

2009-12-08T23:33:00.001+08:00

No...I didn't have a bad day. And if I did, well..that's usual lah...no big deal.

Earlier, when I logged out of my yahoo I saw the news header that the song Bad Day by Daniel Powter was crowned as the one hit wonder song of the decade by the Billboard mag. Click here for more details.

And I was like...what song is this ? Never heard it before. So I read thru the article, and when it said that this is the song played in American Idol whenever a contestant is eliminated, everything clicks together....I love this song actually!

Tapi tak penah ambik tahu siapa penyanyi dia. What an ignoramus. I asked my best friend Mr G to search the lyrics, and here it is...

enjoy...

GRADUATED!

2009-12-08T08:55:00.009+08:00

Ini Hakim, my second prince. Dalam ramai-ramai putera aku (errr ramai tu tigo jahhhh), dia la yang paling ensem. Aku paling jeles tengok eyelashes dia. Tebal melentik tanpa bantuan maskara. Rambut dia pun lembut beralun, dengan warna coklat tua. Oh my boy is sooooo gorgeous (ala, kalau aku tak puji dia, sapa lagi nak puji kannn).

Hakim dah masuk lima tahun dah. Dan minggu ni, Hakim graduated! hehehe...graduated dari unibesiti diapers daaa....aku tahu aku memang lambat kasi toilet train si Hakim ni. Tapi dia asyik tak ready jer sebelum ni. Kalau aku takmo kasi dia pakai diapers, dia cakap "Hakim keshik lagi la mama...". Or kalau aku paksa jugak dia tak pakai diapers...huh tengok la..sat lagi mesti dia cakap dia nak buat NUMBER TWO (beyak daaa) . PAstu aku yang hangin kena pegang tangan dia masa dia mencangkung atas toilet bowl. Pastu aku pun pakaikan diapers kat dia, sebab NUMBER TWO tak kunjung tiba...Mission abandoned. Sigh....

Sebenarnya, Hafiz (my crown prince merangkap anak sulung aku) - pun lebih kurang umur baya Hakim jugak baru grad diapers. Tapi, bila dah grad diapers, dia terus boleh full kontrol bladder dia. Tidur malam pun jarang 'accident'. Dan aku pun boleh tidur tanpa memikirkan apakah tragedi tilam banjir akan terjadi...heh heh....

So melihat contoh abang long dia, aku takmo rush Hakim. Let him take his own sweet time. And he did. Sekarang ni, Hakim goes diapers-less. Kecuali masa nak NUMBER TWO, dan aku masih terpaksa pegang tangan dia masa dia duduk di atas takhta singgahsana toilet bowl. Adehhhh... nak kena beli 'mini takhta' la ni...

Ini mungkin aku, sedang memberi penerangan pada Hakim tentang cara penggunaan mini takhta itu....chehhh feeling caucasian eyyyy.....

But as for now, I am very proud of Hakim...may the Force be with you, my young padawan...
(cheh prasan Jedi pulok dohhhh)

Nota : Ini gambarJedi MasterYoda, bukan aku. Tiada sebarang persamaan WAJAH antara aku dan Yoda OK...But Yoda is so smexxyyyy (ohmygod I can't believe I said that!)

Look East Policy

2009-12-04T22:17:00.008+08:00

Look East Policy, atau Dasar Pandang Ke Timur adalah sebuah dasar yang diperkenalkan oleh mantan Perdana Menteri Malaysia yang keempat, iaitu Tun Dr Mahathir Mohammad. Dasar ini mula diumumkan pada 8hb. Februari 1982 semasa Persidangan "5th Joint Annual Conference of MAJECA/JAMECA" di Hilton Kuala Lumpur. Dasar ini bermakna, pihak Kerajaan akan membuat pengkajian, penelitian dan pemilihan terhadap contoh-contoh dan teladan yang terbaik daripada negara Jepun dan Korea dengan mengubahsuaikannya dengan keadaan-keadaan di Malaysia.
(Source: Pusat Maklumat Rakyat)

Erk. Anda tidak salah masuk blog. Ini bukan kelas sivik, kajian tempatan atau blog politik. Cuba baca balik apa yang aku penat2 tulis di atas, dan cari perkataan yang aku highlight dengan warna merah. Yup, Jepun is the operational word. Tahniah kerana anda semua tahu membaca, dan ini membuktikan bahawa anda juga bukan buta warna. Sekali lagi, tahniah. Hip hip hurray !!!!

Jadi apa kaitannya Jepun dengan entri aku kali ini ?

Ini kaitannya. A hero from Japan.

Ultraman strikes a pose.

Hero pujaan anak-anak aku yang berjumlah 3 orang. Diimport dari Jepun. Boleh dikatakan, rumah aku mengamalkan dasar pandang ke timur, mengikut saranan Tun M. Yes, we are 27 years too late, but that doesn't matter in my household. Yang pentingnya, ketiga-tiga anak aku mengambil idola dari Jepun sebagai adiwira (superhero daa...) mereka. Bukan Superman, bukan Batman, bukan Plasticman, He-Man, Incredible Hulk dan lain-lain superhero yang diimport dari Amerika. No. Only Ultraman.

Perbarisan segala spesies ultraman.

Dan ketiga-tiga hero aku ini pula memang pakar lagi arif tentang ultraman dan spesies-spesies ultraman. Ada Ultraman Gaia, Nexus, Seven, Mebius, Zearth, Max, Dyna etc etc. CikMan, my youngest son can easily differentiate between the specieses. Serius. Tengok gambar aje, dia boleh cakap ini Ultraman Max ke Dyna ke Gaia ke. Hebat kan ??? That's cool, dude!

Para Ultraman khusyuk bermesyuarat, ala2 persidangan Umno gamaknya...

Yang tak cool nya ialah...mereka bertiga dah tahu yang Internet juga adalah satu saluran yang amat marvelous untuk menonton klip-klip video Ultraman. Dan walaupun klip-klip video ultraman tu pendek-pendek sahaja durasi nya (dalam 2-5 minit), namun mereka tetap tekun menonton. Satu persatu. One by one. Dan kalau ada 18759376 klip video Ultraman di Internet, maka bayangkan perasaan aku bila mereka bertiga sepakat merampas kuasa laptop untuk menonton klip video Ultraman?

Macamana aku nak blogging ? Nak tahu perkembangan hal ehwal terkini dunia ? Nak dengar gusip-gusip liar lagi panas artis tempatan dan luar negara? Nak join forum-forum NGO yang amat mendambakan kehadiranku dan minda intelek ku? Bagimana aku nak bergusipan dengan jiran-jiran cyber ku ? How ????

OK, maybe aku masih boleh exercise kuasa autonomi dan diktaktor dengan anak sulung dan yang nombor 2, but how do you reason out with a 2 year old boy ??? Ohmygod...I am defeated by a 2 year old boy who can't even speak properly. He can't even pronounce Ultraman, for crying out loud!

It's hard to believe that I am defeated by this comot guy.

Ni pun aku tak boleh lama-lama kat depan laptop. CikMan dah meraung2, guling2 nak tengok Ultraman. Sigh....

I rest my case.